I'm serving energy and giving life force.

Satyrs are like if humans were goated.

(texting my apothecary, who swore to deliver soon a salve to soothe my many aches and pains, which have long plagued me and drive away all hope of meaningful rest or comfort) whre th fuck is my salve

an artist is someone who is prejudiced against art

Wasteland Rules: 1. If you see it, you eat it. 2. Drink gasoline to run faster.

"Is this art political?" I would certainly think so. You used the Hitler Hues.

(vaguely European pastry chef presenting medium budget Youtube video, "Your First Loaf: Strategies for Beginners") Bread can be surprisingly difficult opponent.

It's Die at the Hands of Your Own Creation Friday.

Making it very clear in my dating profile that I'm going to eat any kids we have together.

We should pool all our hormones into one person and see what impulses they get.

Misappropriating school funds to commission a statue of me heroically misappropriating school funds.

I'd be so lucky if I got squished like a bug today.

Speak softly and carry a soft stick. Do everything softly

retweet for a cozy and bountiful winter

Real snoozers sleep inside the mattress.

The Institute for the Discovery, Analysis and Resolving of the Issue the Institute for the Discovery, Analysis and Resolving of the Issue the Institute was Founded to Address was Founded to Address announced today, "We are working on it."

We have surrounded your residence with stars. Comply with our demands or we'll start blasting you with radiation.

Repeatedly correcting dinner guests voicing admiration for my impressive home library that the proper term is "books-shelves" when they hold more than one book.

I'll be honest: I'm afraid to live a little.

I feel god in this tidal pool

If I get kidnapped, I have no idea who will travel to the ends of the earth to rescue me, but I'm excited to find out.

In a dimly-lit night club, a two-piece jazz act composed of two identical large men in plum-colored suits known only as the Circumference Brothers takes the stage to a smattering of light applause.

I caution you not to test my psychic abilities; I have the power to conjure a difficult decision where once there was a straightforward choice.

Text me when you conquer the grave.

priest x sinner x demon x angel x devil x father x son x holy ghost fanfic

So many secrets of the universe are as of yet beyond my ability to unravel and even more remain hidden to me altogether. Pa says that's no good for a boy of my age and learnin' and that these's only the preliminary mysteries. Kids at the arcane sanctum been callin' me slow.

The understated musicality of a head being hewn from its neck.

I love sleeping animals. They always look so peaceful, although it only takes a few seconds for me to start worrying they will never wake up.

Mother used to feed us to the hounds if we didn't finish our plates.

Old sweetheart of mine moved back into town, and I misjudged it as a Hallmark film opening. Nope, it's a Nordic noir opening. She has memory lapses from drinking and is looking into the murder of our old teacher. Lots of coffee and full frontal nudity, but it's been bleak coffee and nudity.

It's so hard to bake a loaf of bread and maintain your social media presence at the same time. I don't know how you guys do it. Some of you aren't even baking anything and instead have jobs or families. Just another baffling mystery to me.

Nothing is apropos of nothing; everything is apropos of something or other. Your inability to keep track of what is apropos of what does not excuse you from acknowledging this reality.

A Cold-hearted Bastard Used His Remarkable Good Looks to Infiltrate the Royal Family! Despairing, I Retreated to the Countryside to Start a Farm and Fell in Love With a 1000 Year Old Ghost!

If you handed me a blank check, I wouldn't know what to do with it. Maybe my dad would know, but he isn't here right now. We can wait until he gets back, if you want.

I consider each and every one of my bones to be a gift from the Earth.

Gather 'round, children. I got a story to tell. (children gather 'round) Ready? Once upon a– (children gather 'round) Still gathering? Okay, make room- (children gather 'round) Now hold on a minute- (children gather 'round) Wait, just a- (children gather 'round) Stop, plea- (children gather 'round)

You don't want to play with me when I've got a star to wish upon.

I better lose myself in my music My moment I own it I better never let it go I only get one shot to not miss my chance to blow My opportunity comes once in my lifetime

Massive unpopularity rarely bodes well for one's political fortunes, especially if their opponents are willing to take advantage of the situation.

(tenting fingers) Let the James begin.

Don’t sweat it brother. Just another one of the 10,000 things

Medieval Game Show: "Who Wants To Be a Legitimate Heir?"

Like this tweet if snakes are often viewed as the holders of knowledge, strength, and renewal in a variety of societies.[3]

Cutting God into a thousand pieces with my prayers.

I can't fall asleep because I still have so much that I should have done years ago.

Dear Diary, Today I met a man covered with skin.

(interrupting you) I'm sorry, but I have no idea who you are, or what you are saying, or what you want, or why you are here, or why I am here, or how we met, or how we know each other, or where you come from, or- (you try to speak) Excuse me, I'm not finished- Or where I come from, or who I am, or-

A sect of cultists unionizing to demand better benefits from their deity.

Did you think Jesus ever slipped up and accidentally called Joseph "God"?

My brain hurts from so many events happening in my lifetime.