I don’t get how so many people can’t connect the dots between “I have to pay for schools even though I don’t have kids” and “My neighbours’ kids going to good schools with good funding helps keep them from breaking into my shed and stealing my shit”

My partner and I heard your lament from across the bar and we really love your pathos

you didn’t get phonics instruction at school in the 90s you just feel like you did because you heard the word “phonics” on TV 3 times a day when you were 6

oh no, every Canadian is now telling me their age and how they learned to read guys, most of us don’t have impressive recall of pedagogy from when we were 5, and maybe your teachers were renegades or old or your province didn’t follow the trends, it’s fine, let me live

I was so good at making lattes that I worked for 5 years in a job where every manager hated my guts and they still tasked me with training all the new baristas I could judge the temperature of milk by the pitch of the whistle it made as it steamed a Kiwi once declared my flat whites “alright”

My last word on the matter

i really like james bond movies as like a general thing but about 75% of the individual films are indefensibly bad like not even fun bad but “wow I forgot how long and boring this is” or “geez so much is happening and I hate all of it” or both if i were in charge, at this point i’d do remakes

I want Oscar Isaac to play a different version of the Victor Frankenstein character every three years for the rest of his life

celebrating small wins among great losses or even the mere temporary avoidance of loss is what people mean when they talk about “gratitude” and “counting your blessings” and is one of the most psychologically healthy things people can do, especially in times like these celebrate so you can carry on

Seeing some very annoying posts about politics... it's like you people dont even care about my sourdough starter

I feel like I need today’s discourse to just have a little more acknowledgement, like this post right here, that 25 years ago was in fact 2000, not 1975, and that Gen X was not raised in a pre-modern world beyond our understanding? Please?

I am once again at the top of the food chain

If you need a bra fitting you should not go to a bra store, the chances the sales clerks know anything are slim Your band size is your underbust in inches rounded to the nearest even number (eg. I am 37”, so 36/38) & your cup size is the difference between that & your bust (eg. 44-37=7, so F), 36F

I met some of the people in my business start up program in person yesterday and the youngest member was like “I got called out as the youngest but surely that’s actually Kit” and I am 6 years older than this man thank you Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome for my eternal youth

any time the cops stop a terrorist attack before it happens you absolutely have to wait and see if that’s because the cops did most of the planning these stings too often work by creating crimes that wouldn’t have gone beyond appalling shittalk without a lot of law enforcement effort and incitement

I just coughed and sneezed at the same time and—contrary to schoolyard rumour—my eyes did not pop out of my head, but I did get spit all over my arm

this woman was born during the Clinton administration

there’s a hair product called “Johnny B Gel” and it feels like they were gonna call it “Johnny B Goop” but wussed out

I have had much of the kumbaya aggressively beaten out of me over the past several years but if it’s any comfort whatsoever, I can at least say that every single time I thought nothing good would happen again I was wrong, and I’ve never looked back and thought “so glad I spent my time panicking!”

am i stupid for thinking $200k is a lot of money actually and pretty good pay for a job that is not dangerous and requires no specific certifications like the schedule isn’t great but have you ever seen the timesheets of a Zara employee

I got a cortisone injection, a prescription for Extra-Strength Pain Goop, and an x-ray requisition \o/

please, Doctor Sports, my country needs me

finally seeing a sports medicine doctor for my fucked up shoulder \o/ <— me, if I could raise both arms (…perhaps soon?)

I feel like if you’re a witch and you catch a witchy vibe and the weather is lovely and stormy you should be allowed to call off work and do witch stuff

I’m so sorry this happened to you also recession indicator

Since, for reasons, people seem to be posting Battle Hymn stuff again, I figured I'd write it out for accordion.

You may be able to indict a ham sandwich but you cannot convict one

I got my entry level job at the butcher shop I ended up managing because the manager at the time, Peter, hated the locker room atmosphere of the all-male shop and couldn’t tell who was driving the problem vs just going along to get along

I've seen this go by a few times on TikTok now and I have to say, I love this idea. We need a way to convince people to keep running even if they don't win, maybe building the loss into it as a troll move is the secret.

people come to Appalachia looking to learn the traditional Appalachian Witchery and I just want to sit them down and say "you know they were Baptists, right? all of them. yes even the Methodists."

our neighbours just set off fireworks??? for guy fawkes day????? in nova scotia??????

do you want the house tour I could take you to the hallway on the first floor to be clear a lot of this is a metaphor there's nothing for you here inside house tour the inside's a little larger than the outdoors head down the spiral staircase and we'll explore what happened to our veteran guide?

5yo, holding a toy circular saw: Look, the table is broken! I'll give it a little cut! Me: Did that fix it? 5yo: No.

genuinely this feels like it has the potential to be the first step in something big because unlike a Hope President, which allows people to think "OK I'm done," a distant Hope Mayor is something you see and then want for your own city

just want to remind everyone again that zohran is the one cis candidate i am aware of that had his platform on trans rights written by trans people. i think that matters

bsky theme song: 🎶 Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord pundit theme song: 🎶 I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves

ngl this is who I hoped Carney was i just want woker and deader-eyed tbqh give me one billion woke Canadians

Please check all that apply

🪷 you never have to lib out 🪷 🪷 if you were always libbed in 🪷

what tune is “head, shoulders, knees and toes” sung to in the US??? in canada it’s sung to “london bridge is falling down” and i just heard it to the tune of “there is a tavern in the town” on peppa pig are we the weirdos is everyone else doing tavern

my instinct every time I see my nails is to scream “could these BE any more demure?!” which is tbh not very demure of me

ok so correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think BDB was hot before he became a hot girl for Zohran how did this happen

something happened here

A lot of Canadians are more familiar with American criminal law than Canadian, so just FYI: it is completely illegal in Canada to carry any weapon, even things that are legal to use for other purposes, for the purpose of self-defense against another person you can’t have pepper spray

finally. baseball is over. we can only hope it has been defeated forever

congrats to yamamoto ONLY

i feel like that bird randy johnson 9/11’d rn

i don’t care for that tbqh