Recession recession indicator!!!

The devil fetch ye, ye ragamuffin rapscallions; ye are all asleep. Stop snoring, ye sleepers

Must have been so crazy for fans of the Wife and Secretary franchises to see them crossover like this

Someone responded to a dumb joke with an annoying reply and I remembered I can just block ‘em. Feels good man

Honestly just gonna block anybody who low effort fedposts. Gotta at least be creative if you want to get me arrested.

they're making a new energy drink specifically for gambling, it tastes like kiwi which I guess is the luckiest fruit

sometimes I will see people describe a TV show as "quirk chungus" and I don't know what that is/won't learn but it makes me feel like I'm looking at someone who is unaware they have really bad radiation poisoning

WHAT: Prada (fall 2026) OCCASIONS: smoking with the headmaster or you’re a tough London lad who maybe pinched something from a larder but if a friend’s in bad way you’ll come to their rescue (with a cat called patches) IF IT WERE A SCENT: thick oatmeal EMOTIONAL RANGE: 👓 / 🕯️ #MJMfashionGuide

let’s see The Proclaimers do that

We’re visiting a high-school friend of my wife and LOOK AT THIS PAINTING HER DAUGHTER DID

BREAKING: This dog is named Susan From Accounting

Woke computers have pronouns in BIOS

Thank you, Colleen O'Shaughnessey.

If you're looking for a sign to switch careers: this is the sign.

Whatever he had like 12 followers

Once a friend played this opening against me and I never figured out of they were trolling me or what? 95% sure they weren't but how could you ever be sure??? I don't think they knew chess well enough to play it this badly?????

Just stubbed my toe. Recession indicator.

hey train perverts wanna see the shinkansen cloaca

It’s happening

Seems unfair that you only get to use the bouncy slide to get off a plane when things have gone wrong. The bouncy slide should be a treat they give to the best passengers who did the flight correctly.

Will Psyduck pass his driving test??

The periodic table mapped according to lickability

My cat: [wanders into the kitchen near the time he usually gets fed] Me: And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, My cat: please stop Me: Slouches towards the kitchen to be fed? My cat: I swear to god I just want food. Please.

Yeah man I feel you

eric adams type sentence

Dang they might have me with this one ngl

If i said Pelman got the better deal would yall get mad at me?

(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao

Twirling my mustache in an evil, sinister fashion as I sneak into the local boba tea shop with these mfs in hand

Fire Emblem protagonist: "We need to save the kingdom from these evil invaders!" Grizzled Advisor: "Only you can lead the people to victory, my lord." Love Interest: "Come on, let's go save the villagers!" The Other Two Guys You Start With:

My brother (older) is a lighthearted & thoughtful person who, if you betray anyone in his family, does a quick brutal attack that barely disturbs the air. We love it & today decided to call it: Lion Paw Swipe.

Disappointed at the lack of Ninja Creami hardware hacks. Maybe it’s too new. Imagine putting a vitamix motor in there. Nonzero chance you’d get hurt. Want my Ninja Creami to be able to liquify bone.

Alas, I have become what I most feared: ten draculas.

How can you not be romantic about baseball?

The received wisdom I'd gotten about reading Lord of the Rings in high school was that it's loaded with overlong passages about walking around, but as a middle aged hiker it turns out that's exactly what I want to read.

introducing my new rating system: CUTE cute! cute cute, cute. cute…

it's Tupi's world, we're just living in it 🥗

[eyeing the exit] yes it's true I am a man of means

Too bad a carafe isn't what it sounds like (a car-shaped giraffe).

To the girl reading this: you're just like philosophy (perfect) 😳😳

The strongest caffeine I usually have is earl grey tea but I was just given something called a nitro cold brew. Not sure what’s in it, but the godhead speaks through me now, issuing forth demands and evocations alike in a voice that does not sound like mine own.

Generational wealth starts with one bold thief and one good heist. I believe in you. Bet on yourself today. 🫶🏾

man i hate the D&D hegemony in TTRPG space, everyone knows the optimal KPop Demon Hunters RPG is just a reskin of Honey Heist where your only two stats are "KPop" and "Demon Hunter" www.polygon.com/k-pop-demon-...

chiantifa

Like 12 years ago my friend sent me this picture from his work and it immediately, permanently changed the name of this utensil in my head. The bytes were fully overwritten. I don’t remember the former name of this item and frankly I don’t care

become ungovernable

Oh, you muted me because I repost too much? Did you also pluck out your two precious eyes upon witnessing your first sunset? So sure, were you, that you’d taken in all the majesty and beauty you’d ever need in this life? What melancholy. I envy and pity your surety in equal measures. #unmutekafui