Once again tried to take a social media break and was still depressed and also couldn't Poast. Might as well Be Depressed and Poast

My university releasing student evals for this semester on Christmas Eve is objectively hilarious

I’ve just learned that the Rothko I hung for 28 years was upside down. Humiliating. I read from my autobiography in front of that painting. I named my second child, No. 2, after that painting. I don’t even like it now.

just learned about this colin mcginn blog post

Random thigh pain today but immediately knew what it wasn’t; reading analytic philosophy of mind really pays off sometimes

Someone who gives a job talk at Tufts this year should title their job talk "From Bacteria to Bach and Back and then Back to Bach"

Wow who knew Aquinas was so based @agholdier.bsky.social

Can't sleep, watching cricket (might be enough to get me deported nowadays)

like ten guys rn

my earnest advice is, as much as humanly possible, immediately forget every place you've applied as soon as you submit the application

Yes, don't follow Bret's lead. Immediately knowing when comments are posted robs you of a crucial experience--obsessively refreshing the page every few minutes.

Those asking me for advice about the philosophy job market should know I once set up a custom RSS feed so I would get notified every time someone posted a comment on the Cocoon job market thread (so I could be sad about not getting job X as quickly as possible). So uh you don't want my advice

Traffic jam on campus today caused by one of those automated delivery robots not knowing how to scale (or go around) a small pile of snow. The Future is Now

Jesus fucking christ

Love the new book @dryan149.bsky.social!!

Guy who says he reads books but it's only that pirated copy of American Canto (it's me I'm that guy)

you LOTheads just can't grasp the obvious implication: thinking in language makes you stupid

*5 seconds after learning what a pretender to the throne is* I declare myself the pretender to the (still vacant) Jacob Urowsky Professorship in Philosophy at Yale University

Ok spotify, I'm both pretentious and depressed, we get it

*sigh* something something philosophy publishing

Horrified to realize my own institution is one that requires you to answer a bunch of questions about a student before uploading a rec letter for them

Is your child texting about the philosophy job market? Know the lingo: "U up? 👀" - Are you regularly checking the Philosopher's Cocoon job market thread? "Ghosting" - when a school never sends a rejection email "Rizz" - the charisma of a candidate with an NYU PhD "No cap" - open-rank search

I wrote "I hate you" on a post it note and put it on my fridge. What I saw next had troubling implications for the ethics of emerging technologies

@matthiasmichel.bsky.social live at ruccs, get here now

From the Barnard college newspaper in 1935:

Lord grant me the confidence of the student who, after consistently showing up 30-45 mins late to each session of two different classes of mine, reached out to me for a letter of rec for grad school (not in philosophy) two weeks before the deadline. That kid's gonna be my boss someday, probably

Cleaning up my email today and realizing I am actually quite bad at responding to emails nowadays. I have become the person I hated most. I have changed. I must rectify this wrong (Also sorry if you emailed me and I didn't reply, I'm an idiot apparently)

sending all my buddies on the market emails asking how the job search is going with the subject line 'update on job search' to ruin their day

Beneath every joke post on the Discover tab is someone replying "I NEEDED this today, laugh-wheezing in my nephew's wind quintet concert 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂." As God intended

As the AI bubble looks increasingly likely to burst, I just want to take the time to remind everyone that I, Brett Karlan, have always been, and will always be, an epistemologist and philosopher of cognitive science

Happy job market moving week to all those who celebrate; may Market Claus bless you with an inbox full of interview requests

One amazing thing teaching this graduate seminar has taught me is that I have a much wider and more consistent grasp of the areas I work in than I even realized. One terrible thing it has taught me is that my views in these areas are insane and no one should believe them

You like doing applied philosophy because you are skeptical of mainstream methods and problems in analytic philosophy. I like doing applied philosophy because I want to do ideal theory but I was trained by a bunch of neuroscientists and my mind is warped and broken. We Are Not The Same

Okay McEwan, you don’t see epistemologists out there writing On Chesil Beach, let’s stick to what we’re good at.

Introduce yourself with 5 of the 9 criteria of modularity from Fodor (1983). Domain specificity Limited access Information encapsulation Specific breakdown patterns Fixed neural architecture

Becoming the Wykeham Professorship of Logic as a bit

Cruz, Hegseth, Karlan!

In a foul mood today (the checkout girl at the Fresh Time near me, despite several attempts to correct her, continues to forget that I went to Princeton)

The only acceptable title for a sequel to "Detroit: Become Human" would be "Detroit: Become Dancer"

This is like watching a 45-year-old who once pitched in the world series struggle to strike teenagers out in single A ball. Truly one of the best poasters to ever do it, reduced to this

Of course I'm not woke, the only triggering I care about is CHRONO TRIGGERing 😂😂😂 *the sound of my wife and kids getting in a taxi and leaving me can be heard in the background*

You should use Gemini, it looks like it understands you

BROKE: Is ChatGPT conscious? WOKE: Is ChatGPT mad at me?

"Unlike continental nonsense, analytic philosophy is clear and intelligible"

WILD but TRUE: the actual nicknames of famous philosophers! Donald "Duck" Davidson David "Duck" Hume Friedrich "Duck" Nietzsche Ari"Duck"stotle Willard Van Orman "Duck" Quine

I just got back from the Iteration conference and no one there knew that they knew that they knew you