Today in No Thanks: thank you but I have prior obligations

internet is crazy

Many people think things that suck are the enemy of the hater. No! Things that suck are what animate the soul of the hater. I love and cherish things that suck. As a top-tier hater, what truly annoys me is low-quality hating. Uninformed hating, bandwagon hating, hating for the wrong reasons, etc.

Until the sun burns out

Today in No Thanks: please send my regrets, I will be unable to do so at this time

who's ready to let SATAN take the wheel for a brutal afternoon of balls-to-the-wall classics from the the most extreme hard rockers of all time

she should run for president

Um, @variety.com? That’s…not what that means. 😳 variety.com/2025/music/n...

HBO should hire me to make a prestige post-Gremlins streaming series. the setting is a world where Gremlins have killed most humans using rigged RC cars or exploding microwaves.

logging into the first work meeting of the day

play this song as the nyc mayoral results come in youtu.be/t3jKtjgRZQY?...

Zohran at the rally for trans youth on february 8 ❣️ he was polling single digits.

national toxx clause

i just heard the soup dragons playing in whole foods... this is my generation's "deadhead sticker on a cadillac" moment

I have a complicated relationship with Oasis because Noel Gallagher is the worst lyricist who ever lived and he plays guitar like John Squire wearing oven mitts, but when the Big Guitars hit right before the second chorus of Champagne Supernova I'm always like

i love this website

I had my political differences with Dick Cheney, but in person I found him warm, funny, a gracious host and surprisingly knowledgeable about music. Seeing The Jesus Lizard with him in 2009 was a blast, and he didn't hesitate to wade into the pit despite a few sidelong glances.

Getting hit in the chest from point blank range with a footlong sub and an enormous Peckinpah-style squib of sweet onion teriyaki sauce explodes from my chest.

you have to wear a UNITED STATES bandana in your back pocket if you're into assertion of sea control and an OPPONENT bandana if you're into denial of sea control

i like how whenever a famous actor's email is somehow leaked it's always like [email protected]

if i was bitten by a zombie i would calmly excuse myself

Ozyman, Ozyman- dias does what no mortal can and his works? are they there? no, but maybe still despair

Member of lists: My bsky pals 😀 “Interesting” eyes Trolls and Turds 🙅‍♂️ Eyes far apart People with ET eyes 👀 Can’t use binoculars 👁️_____👁️ Opera Glasses Torn in Twain Look Like a Bug 🐞 (eye category) Socrates Weeps (nincompoops who rebuff debate)

if you wanted to find out about underground music you literally needed to know a guy. you had to wear a t-shirt of some band and then a guy who worked at the video store would tell you about a different band, then maybe in six months you'd get lucky and find their record

Someone needs to take this guy down a peg

The most evil corporations in the world are the ones that make soaps for hotels and vacation rentals. They are always called “YOJA Nourishing Mango & Eucalyptus Gentle Cleansing Soap” but it’s always the same chalky little puck of industrial sheep delousing powder

Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.

No other video podcast gives you hard hitting analysis like @yourkickstartersucks.com. The hosts come prepared with serious, well thought out arguments on film and consumerism every time.

"i'm graham platner and i love carving up 14 year olds in kabul. i can't get enough of it" (nodding) "because of esoteric fascist reasons" (spit take)

i think the coolest feat of engineering of the 21st century is that every food product now comes in a bag with a tear-off top, and when you throw away the top part it somehow always flutters away from the trash can and lands on the floor

lmao

I've been laughing at musician quotes in press releases for at least a decade now, but I don't think anything will ever beat my favorite one of all time: Pete Wentz saying "I am stoked to collaborate with Nordstrom"

[hot chocolate “you sexy thing” voice]

A big congratulations to @baybayfriend.bsky.social for presumably designing these "virtual rooms" my public library offers for "Children" "Teens" and "Adults"

It's like the Olympics- they said I was disqualified as a pro because of my participation in the White Boy Draft. Which is bullshit because that was just a segment on MTV Spring Break and I was not paid.

a warning to all the craigslist purebred puppy for sale scammers: i am always on craigslist. always. i am flagging you within seconds. i am flagging you before you even post. i was flagging you before you were born. you will never defeat me

we have got to start killing billionaires. is the first line that the villain speaks in the novel im writing. really though, in the real world, we have to kill these people. he continues

>> I have to admit, I never imagined myself falling for a much older man. But being with a Kennedy is every woman’s dream. From starlets to… journalists ;) >> ya. I have access to every kind of meat btw. even the “main” one your not supposed to have

happy holiday

I still hold out hope that the surviving California Raisins will put aside their differences and reunite before time runs out.

is it not weird that every day there’s a new video of anonymous masked men having the time of their lives beating/shooting/disappearing people and the dem response from the top down is “republicans want to double your health insurance premiums”

be careful out there. if you see a deal that seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Somehow when there’s a really stupid plot development in a really stupid TV show it’s even more disappointing… cmon show I’m already giving you all I’ve got. It can’t be all on me to hold this relationship together

life gets better and better every day until about 42 years old, when every moment of life is nearly unbearable ecstasy, and then it still keeps getting better from there somehow

The funniest thing about this is how legit terrified ICE looks.