Why did he do that. The intrusive thoughts won

when i drop my nuggets into medbed and it turn into chickens!

With Eric Adams dropping out, let’s remember the craziest low-stake moment of his time in the spotlight: when he named the concert where Curtis Mayfield was paralyzed *before* getting to sing a note as the best concert he’s ever been to. From a 2021 Vanity Fair interview:

One cool thing about Baby Steps is around 10 hours into it I guarantee you’ll have the thought “this is how walking should work in all games”

when i want to reaffirm the universal value of life, my two go-tos are definitely "ai" and "brand campaign"

Here's a thought. Fuck these guys.

My heart goes out to Kaleb Horton’s friends and family. I always genuinely thought I’d wake up one day and he’d be the most famous writer in the world. We had some great times talking for hours about awful California towns and I always figured we’d do it again next time he blew through town.

One of the smartest things Costco does is assigning every shopper a “Costco Enemy,”who stays in front of them putting carts in stupid places and blocking the aisle and going really slowly. This gives the shopper 30% more browsing time and creates a memorable, provocative experience

I would like the child sacrificed to stop, either by we stop doing them, or we acquire an orb with some kind of enchantment, I don't want to be too prescriptive about it, but an orb or other artifact with magical properties that causes them to stop.

Italy has moved me to tears for 3 days straight. Bravo ❤️

When my daughter says her leg hurts and wants Tylenol but I think she’s fibbing, I’ve been telling her if she takes it when she doesn’t really need it she’ll turn into Gollum. But now I have something new to tell her!

OP: boys are hot REPLY: no girls are 13TH CENTURY ALE CONNER WHO I'VE BROUGHT TO THE FUTURE: Min ale hath ywoxen soure ME: No they do that on purpose now

One time I got invited to a really nice party where I didn’t know most people very well so I spent some time hanging on the sidelines being shy. Julie Bowen came over and hung out with me for ages like we were old friends. I am incredibly unimpressive in person so it could only have been kindness

this promo photo of avril promoting her wine (?) looks like a @baybayfriend.bsky.social narrative game screenshot

they never really replaced the sensory experience of degaussing

at the Subculture Reveal Party and the parents are about to cut the cake .. annnd... it's full of .. trumpets. fuck. fuck! the baby is Ska

i know it's silly to point out "hypocrisy" from the right-wing media since it's all just a cynical game to them, but I'm pretty sure that like 95% of dumbass right-wing media consumers actually DO completely reverse their sincerely-held beliefs every three days without realizing it

you'd be hard-pressed to make a more compelling argument for the way things are now than that we're all trapped in the fitful dream of someone dying in front of a tv. everything that happens involves someone from tv

"you're throwing up blood" man I am throwing up lots of stuff don't worry about it

an entire generation and everyone coming up after them have essentially been making pirate tv stations for each other on repurposed video game streaming websites for like about a decade now. if we had the money that demonic old baby boomers have poured into nasty jesus creeps you would be astonished

I lost loads of respect for the insane clown posse when I found out they were self diagnosed

it’s an Amanda thing

the 9/11 sketch from The Day Today was recorded as an extra for their 2004 DVD release. if you haven't heard it, it's fantastic: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SPW...

pollsters are mystified by the apparent contradiction: while support for fucking around has steadily surged for the past six months, the popularity of finding out has cratered to historic lows

More birthday notes have been revealed. In my opinion, this is beginning to implicate Donald Trump.

graham linehan would be so good for catapulting over a castle wall to destroy your enemy's morale

it portrays this as some sort of harrowing thriller when all they did was fuck up, kill a bunch of civilians and go home

in every friendship there is a gaibon and a slogra. if you arent immediately sure which is which between you then i am sorry: you are slogra

@bencollins.bsky.social has a chance to do something hilarious

Today in No Thanks: I appreciate the offer but I will respectfully decline

(scott walker circa early 90s "tilt" era) hey gabby... what's today's surprise... let's shrink right down and go inside

we are truly living in a fascist state

The real worst rebrand in history is when a piece of bundled scanner software called Barneyscan XP was renamed Photoshop. Imagine a world where that became the word for manipulated images… haters will say it’s Barneyscanned

my ship has come in

I always appreciate how much SF hates Silicon Valley.

Guys, I have a special & unusual request today. My cousin Sean is a union bus driver here in Los Angeles who was just FIRED in retaliation for saying he would not let masked ICE agents onto his bus to abduct riders. The fight is on to get his job back, you can help: actionnetwork.org/letters/send...

rise and shine!!!

I’m at WillowCon Tempe right now and once again I’m the ONLY Madmartigan in an absolute sea of Burglekutt cosplayers. My lane is wide open.

credit to @broogie.bsky.social

I know you're all just going "where can i finally watch the lucas with the lid off video in high quality" so here you go archive.org/details/the-...

If you read the replies to this you'll see a preview of Dan winding up on 200 Bluesky blocklists called "Blue Maga. Unserious trolls. Dangerous misinformation, Please Ignore"

posting this for anyone who missed it. you're welcome in advance

I take offense to this. As a Replacements fan, I almost ALWAYS usually put my cigarette out before pumping your gas.