Catching up on my Something Awful inbox today

Since everyone has been asking, I would like to share my official statement re: Halsey.

I'm part of the very specific fragment of the population for whom this image is the best joke of the week.

"If I am to flower into something other than myself, I would rather rot into nothingness as I am." - The Reflecting Pool

celebrities are so delusional... guns n roses haven't been relevant since the 90s but they still think they get first dibs on ferris wheel sex

Study: Majority Of Middle-Aged Men Lack Support Network They’ll Need To Handle Neil Young’s Death https://theonion.com/study-majority-of-middle-aged-men-lack-support-network-theyll-need-to-handle-neil-youngs-death/

for some reason I keep seeing tiktok videos that are variations of "do you know why handsome male celebrities look great? it's because they wear huge boxy t-shirts and floppy pants" - i don't know how the huge boxy t-shirt industry captured the algorithm so completely, but i congratulate them

The Very Best of Cilla Black & Sandy Shore album(1983) : 45s

let’s fucking rock

is anyone here good with computers? i just let R2D2 do a big bong hit (his idea, not mine) and now he's making fork in the garbage disposal noises

today we made the easy decision to not say goodbye to our beloved dog Tiny, as she is alive and well. She loved howling at ambulances and chasing squirrels and still does. thank you for the memories you gave us and will keep giving us

Meshes Of The Afternoon Maya Deren : 508s

Hello! I'm Greg Erskine, and I'm running for State Representative in New Hampshire's District 22 (Manchester's Ward 11). New Hampshire needs strong public schools, freedom of bodily autonomy, and fair taxation that works for all Granite Staters. secure.actblue.com/donate/greg-...

english isn't for cowards. if you're not saying 'torpify,' that's a skill issue. there's no Académie Française telling you what to do. if you try to type 'pallific' and freak out when you see a little red underline, maybe you're not ready to roll with the big dogs.

Looks like the translators went a bit too hard on the Jazz Fest website

great omen from the vids tonight. better days are on the way

411VM - Europe 1998 (VHS) ISO file : 101s

In data science we call this problem "overfitting." The author, David frum's son, has memorized a bunch of facts about Normal Men without understanding the deeper relationships between those facts. Thus he has weak predictive power when trying to say other normal things.

Been playing a lot of Billie Eilish in the car for my daughter because I think she’s been hearing about Taylor Swift at school and I want to redirect and instill some other loyalties early to avoid ruining both of our lives

finally. some good news

artist unleashed, print ad, imagery (1985) archive.org/details/1985...

The Many Faces Of Fabio : 129s

oh my god, this is such a relief... i was so worried this was going to be lame

Blinky Bill And The Lost Puppy (1996) : 69s

despite the horrors we ride on

1989 VHS • Devil Worship, The Rise of Satanism 60 FPS : 2625s

30 Rock’s Grizzwald ‘Grizz’ Chapman has died at the age of 52. The news was confirmed by Kevin Brown, who played Dot Com.

If a movie is free with an account on something called like Cordulio, that’s the same as a movie costing $26

I choose to think of it as Drake’s Zaireeka, where all three albums are designed to be played simultaneously.

i know that posting is the actual praxis but in lieu of that my friends and i raised 73,000 bucks for the PCRF last year, which i'm very proud of. you can donate here if interested: www.pcrf.net also turn your replies on @emericanjezebel.bsky.social

this is your one Hour warning

No wonder she's the one they chose

putting a napkin over my head and consuming grogu like the ortolan bird

“Wait! Wait! Cancel that. … I guess it says ‘helf.’”

Giving an LLM L Ron Hubbards Affirmations so it doesn't hallucinate about the navy being out to get you, and snakes are not dangerous to you.

happy star wars day to this tweet in particular

As a weekend project I was recently compiling and sorting and tagging etc. all the weekly music columns I wrote for the Weekly Dig and Boston Phoenix from 2005 to 2013ish and aside from being fun to look at that old stuff again it definitely reminded me why I lost interest in writing after that

me showing up in your room at 7:00 AM… “it’s time to log on”

[Vintage VHS] 60-Minute Introduction to Rock Guitar: Beginner To Intermediate by Peter Vogl : 3424s

twink death

i love when something sounds incredibly funny but it's real

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone / After you, who's last? It's DOOM, he's the worst known /

Exactly one year ago today:

Imagine dedicating your life to incel looksmaxxing so much that you've smashed yourself in the face with a hammer only to have a regular reporter from 60 Minutes Australia completely outmog you. (Clavicular eventually walked off the interview)