The fire is weak? You’re weak. And that’s okay. I will add another log.

missed this crossover episode

The thing where everybody chains together rhyming versions of a word like "van gogh was kicked out of the forums call him ban gogh" is what a rom-com screenwriter would come up when trying to simulate Internet for a plot beat

[action bronson voice] slightly increase a band

this is true, but particularly of voters. a good number of Democrats or Dem-leaning voters will blanch at voting for hardball tactics, and even more won’t vote for outright crimes, but tautologically not a single Republican voter in 2026 gives a shit

saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar

if we’re DQing “mr. brightside” for being too universally beloved, the definitive millennial song’s probably “dance, dance” right

this was literally a discourse today

what are we thinking here, chat

yugioh fans smh

dudes are weak as hell for this, but if there’s one slight bit of benefit of the doubt I’ll give, it’s that if I was attempting to navigate a busy costco and someone stuck a camera in my face to ask how much I was enjoying it I would probably also say zero no matter who I was with

Say what you will about her politics, but Dedra has one hell of a Mother’s Day Message:

We created the Torment Nexus from the book Do Not Create The Torment Nexus and trained it on the book Do Not Create The Torment Nexus then acted surprised when it imitated The Torment Nexus from the book Do Not Create The Torment Nexus

scrotum enlargement discourse today reminding me of this guy

this sounds like the name of a trick you do accidentally in tony hawk’s pro skater

Roy Cooper mandate of heaven continues

🧠🪵

wait

if there’s one thing I actually miss about Twitter, it’s that you could post a Live Photo as a gif automatically. just got sent one of jonesy jumping up at a cup of ice cream where you can see his ears flopping, and it loses the effect as a still photo

Michael Ian McDonald

Six seven

increasingly convinced the comp for oysterman isn’t Fetterman 2, it’s JD Vance’s Luigi (Vance is himself the Waluigi, naturally)

thank you

WOM’S OLD CAR:

dovetails neatly with a longstanding idea I’ve had for a romcom where a guy wishes for a second chance with his high school sweetheart, gets transported back in time to high school, and promptly sets about trying to stop the 2016 election from happening

Sean Duffy was built in a lab to make Pete Buttigieg look good. He is Transportation Secretary New Coke. It’s like how people started talking about Ben Roethlisberger being a Hall of Famer once they saw what Steelers QBs looked like after him

terraforming for my habitation

Always read @michaelngraff.bsky.social charlotteoptimist.com/vi-lyles-and...

Is your kid texting with a sturdy brain? LOL - Love Our Lathe GTFO - Gotta Tunnel into Front Office OMG - Oak in My Genes WTF - Woah Terps Fuck SMH - Steelers Make me Horny AMA - Anarchist Maarva Andor STFU - Spiderman Time For otakU BYOB - Bring Your Own Brain SMD - Seahawks Must Die

Crash 1-3 was my kid self’s Help!-Rubber Soul-Revolver run, it’s fun to look back on

that’s because this is just part 1 of the autopsy; part 2 will be released later, by Kendrick Lamar and Radiohead

fax lore friday, when I was 16 a gas station a mile from my house was selling 20oz bottles of real-sugar Pepsi & Mountain Dew (in a pallet, you could mix and match) 24 for $8. I got 12 of each, shared a few with friends, they were gone in 10 days. like a month later I was diagnosed with acid reflux

when it happens he’ll drop three challenge coins that you can pick up to gain entry to the corresponding rooms or throw as a distraction

this whole thing smacks of fender

I have so many more important things to do with my life right now and an overwhelming urge to find enough lowkey incidental Star Wars music and a good vocal modulator app that I could make an ISB Bangers mixtape for an audience of like six people tops

I’ve heard it called the “Girl Talk effect” when you hear the original version of a song that’s been sampled or remixed and mentally fill bits from the remixed version. I’ve now heard two songs today that are completely ruined for me by CVS Bangers

the four stages of getting really into led zeppelin

yes, Biden presidential campaigns. full of Scranton goodness and VPness

two games into the second round and Colorado is more likely than not to win the Stanley Cup. terrifying

steel magnate owning the Seahawks?

had a reflexive desire to block this account before taking a deep breath and conceding it is almost definitely not my mother

when I hear a noise in the office but don’t want to investigate

it’s been funny to watch which Trump people try to stick with the whole “golden age” bit. it’s like if an NFL team tried to push a nickname for their receiving corps and went 5-12