It's obvious that bigotry against AI isn't a real thing because if it was, tech bros would be working hard to make it worse

Went to put a thing in a cupboard, got sidetracked, ended up spending three hours tidying and cleaning all the cupboards in the house, found a tube of glue in the last one and spent another half hour glueing (gluing? gloing? what is English) a bunch of loose skirting boards

Or indeed this

Two years on and the AI bros are doing nothing to dissuade me of this tbh

Right, we're going in

Showed this to the boyfriend and he went "He plays more in this track than some drummers play in their entire careers" youtu.be/7gL_UeQfGlA?...

God I hope Verstappen doesn't somehow grab this championship after all

We're catching up on Taskmaster and I feel like Sanjeev somehow looks more like Dracula than Nick Mohammed did when he actually dressed as Dracula

Do you know what they call a Whopper in Europe?

C'mon man, "Moby Click" was right there

Found my drag name

When Tom Waits sang into his microphone through a megaphone, mathematically speaking he could have just used a phone

Mathematically speaking, is a bird in two bushes worth one in the hand

I'm so tired of having to have opinions

Easter bunny just not putting in the effort any more

What's the point of modern technology I tick the "remember my password" box every time but I still forget it

A+ e-mail, no notes

When someone tells you that today is the only day you can retweet something, that's a lie: you can retweet anything you want on any day you want

ironically, the whole Riyadh Comedy Festival has given me a worse opinion of every one of those comedians except Pete Davidson. there's something to be said for without shame demanding, "you guys kinda killed my dad, I'm gonna need $2 million for an hour's work."

I'm listening to his new album and, having heard all of the songs live once, I can sing along word perfect to all of them This is fully a compliment on how incredibly catchy they are

Then there's two pages that I genuinely couldn't parse about Jesus and dragons, after which the author praises and thanks God for making something as weird as the elephant

- Is big and strong - Has a long beak hanging from his mouth - Uses said beak for all his eating and drinking because he can't bend down - Persians and Indians use him for fighting - Big teeth that curve up - Grinding the teeth up gives you medicine that stops nosebleeds and menstruation

Going through the text about the elephant in the medieval encyclopedia that he's from and, bearing in mind my Middle Dutch is slim to nonexistent, this is what I've gleaned about the elephant:

For no particular reason here is a topless photo of me at the tattoo artist's just after he finished the elephant

My sister found an injured buzzard so they put him in a cat carrier while they wait for the vet, as one does

It's 40 minutes after my original train and I am on a tram now because there's no trains for like another hour Man next to me has been watching a video of a single mug of coffee grounds slowly zooming in and out for at least 5 minutes

All of my trains home were cancelled because of a pro-Palestina demonstration so I joined the demonstration because hey, what else am I gonna do with all this time until the next train

"Everything's fine," the babysitter said into the phone. "But can I cover up the weird clown statue in your hallway?" "Get out of the house, I'm calling the police," the father urgently replied. "You have disrespected my clown statue and I hate you."

New favourite footballer

Another one for the "stupid ways I have hurt myself" list: finger got caught behind the doorknob so the opening door bent my wrist double on itself

Don,t forget to occasionally refill your apostrophes with helium or they,ll sink

Couple of turnstile hoppers at the station, one had to call the other one back because he couldn't make the jump with the half bottle of rosé in his hand Choices were made here this morning

Sometimes I wish I could go into a coma for like six months just so I can learn about a whole chunk of bad stuff happening in the world in one go rather than having it drip fed to me every day

"Is this lens better, or this one?" - Optometrist "Is this lens worse, or this one?" - Pessimetrist

My watch just went "Nice, you're staying active!" What I was doing was staring at a particularly tricky work thing thinking it through and unconsciously wiggling my butt with both hands

Anyway, look at these horses

New favourite lions

They're painting the flats and a leaf got caught on one of the doors and I find it strangely beautiful tbh

I am what the gods have made me.

When the conference has a panel on diversity

Yesterday we biked to a museum and looked at art, which was nice

There was also this incredible painting of a child that is sick of your shit

We moved the boyfriend to his new flat today and the people across the road have a garage that raises many questions and answers none

That angel is clearly saying "Heard the British are talking shit about you, Jeanne"

A simple, haunting poetry in this information from a medical musuem website.

Might start mixing up my discourses You should never use your phone in the shower but you should always wash your legs in the toilet

The Dutch for a raccoon literally means "wash bear" As ever, do with this information what you will

"why don't you just leave me alone?" is my general complaint about everything digital now. It simply won't let me just get on with things in peace

Second attempt Nailed it