happy birthday to every horse and statistically some people

best thing to do when your beloved successfully identifies a bird as a kite is to say that's amazing, you can hardly see the string. by the way.

Capy New Year you magnificent bastards xxx

i will find, forage and forge all the hope i can for 2026. thank you all for your kindness and companionship in the year just gone.

Wait, what?

I don't want to go into 2026 with any bad blood, so if any of you have an issue with me please delete your account before the end of the year.

nice try. that's two separate mermaids

@beardynoise.bsky.social happy new year!!

"Please give this seat to a disabled person" would you like me to butter their walking stick too??

31 December 1995. Still the perfect goodbye.

DECEMBER Paddington: "the furry Peruvian fave" Scotch eggs: "the boulderous, deep-fried orbs" Santa: "the avuncular gift-giver" North Korea: "the notorious hermit kingdom" FIFA: "the bloated, Geneva-based football fiefdom" Grim reaper: "the old skeletal scyther"

Deck the halls with

"Please give this seat to a disabled person" would you like me to butter their walking stick too??

i made a helpful reference

someone at a convention said they liked my trousers, and showed me their bag which was the same Lucy &Yak print. i smiled and said "it goes with everything, doesn't it!" and they agreed that it did.

My son worked in a bakery as a teenager. A middle-aged customer asked for a white loaf, and then, in the jocular way the middle-aged speak to young people, said: "Slice me up that bad boy!" My son, feigning incomprehension, said "Sorry?" Crestfallen, the man replied "Can I have it sliced please?"

braaaine forg. am in oxford but unfortunately raising my eyes makes me dizzy so the fine architecture is going UNappreciated. need to power cycle my brain. need to rinse+wring it

British citizens and UK-based folks: please consider signing and sharing this petition: petition.parliament.uk/petitions/75... #RefugeesWelcome

James Merril’s poem “Christmas Tree,” written while he was dying of AIDS. 1995.

Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up. I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.

i am taking tomorrow off as a holiday, in celebration of the first hominid to whistle

🖤❤️

using digital forensics to prove that my boyfriend first heard one of his musical picks of 2025 in 2024. i am also fun to be around in other ways, too

do you think radicalised adults could be encouraged to put together a shoebox of toys for palestinian kids?

People can be radicalised and taught bigotry as children. People can be radicalised and taught bigotry as young adults. People can be radicalised and taught bigotry in middle age. People can be radicalised and taught bigotry in old age. The fight against hate never ends.

Strongly recommend singing Pink Pony Club in your best Elvis voice. doesn't even have to be very good!

Yesterday @bootsmcgoot.bsky.social and I saw some techbro giving “30 pieces of advice for people under 30” over on Twitter and it was all grind culture bullshit. As adults of 38 and 43 respectively, we compiled 30 pieces of advice that people under 30 won’t have heard before:

2025 had an obvious conservative tilt and I need you weirdos to work double time next year. I need you to hike up your thrifted levis and look me in the eye and promise me you’re gonna get weirder this year to scare the squares. We can’t let them get comfortable.

right, that's bedknobs and broomsticks watched, now on to the sound of music. for christmas i'm gifting myself No Nuance Nazi Hating

We joke about this being a weird week but it’s a weird fucking week. You’re going to want to rest and be frightened of resting. You’re going to think you want to work. Focus will Be a ghost. Eat some cheese, drink some water, keep a Notebook nearby, let yourself drift.

forgot to invite my executives to the function

The Mariner's Revenge's mum if she'd lived: I don't remember saying that. I suppose everything is MY fault then

in 2026 we are NOT hustling, we are NOT grinding, we are doing just enough Job to have money for Video Game

here's to rest, leftovers, and the second half of chitty chitty bang bang.

these motherfuckers

this is Cup. i painted him

Watching THE GREEN KNIGHT again

Hahahaha

family is PRESENT. children are VOCAL. motion smoothing is ON. solidarity fistbumps to those with overwhelm!

omg you're so right. KNUC TATS

Convertible halloween/ christmas decorations, ™ ™ ™

Christmas is hard for many. The years roll, the ghosts at the table increase. We’re haunted by the absence of voices, of laughter engines who drank and ate with us. This can be day of remembrance rituals. For what it’s worth, Hooklanders near and far are in my candles today. Be gentle on yourselves.

If you feel like you hate everyone- EAT. If you feel like everyone hates you- SLEEP. If you feel like you hate yourself- SHOWER. If you feel like everyone hates everyone- Go OUTSIDE

She’s so subtle 👀🎄 Merry Christmas from your favorite sapphics #harlivy #harleyquinn #poisonivy #dc #digitalart

How do the Gremlins know the words to Heigh-Ho (Off To Work We Go) from Snow White? The answer may lie in the mogwai's unusual reproductive method, which most closely resembles a form of asexual "budding" most commonly found in plant life.

Oh, er, Merry Christmas everyone

Listen. A Christmas Carol was set in 1843, Tiny Tim is dead, long dead, as we all shall one day be.