Ok, I just checked the trending for Spotify Wrapped and it's about half people posting their Wrapped and half people posting ironic complaints, so I think we're officially onto the meta portion of the discourse where we should switch to complaining about the complaints #PSA

Most people think Feliz Navidad is sung in Spanish, but actually Jose Feliciano is a terrible mumbler and it's about his mate Philippe who's dad was an Irish road labourer

Strawberry is the worst jam to have been given default-jam status

It's going to be really embarrassing when it turns out all our theories about the hierarchy of Egyptian gods are based on ancient memes about how this one guy had a nose like a beak and his mate looked like a cow

- Do you wanna build a snowman? - No snow - Do you wanna build a rainman? - Definitely, definitely…

The Queen song "Thank God It's Christmas" was about Brian May running out of socks without holes in

Everyone should celebrate Black Friday by reading Friday Black, the superlative short story collection by Nana Kwame Adjei Brenyah. Buy it today so you don’t have to buy it tomorrow

I'm not saying you should but, it would be fairly easy to show your kids The Snowman every year, make them listen to Peace on Earth/Drummer Boy on repeat, and then convince them that David Bowie comes down from space to bring them presents every Christmas

It just goes to show how badly Labour are fucking it that the Guardian's budget game this year isn't even hard

0 degrees! There’s no degrees! Where did all the degrees go?!

Incredibly frustrating nonsense from the Guardian

Dear Herr Trump, Perhaps we would take your lawsuits more seriously if you didn’t insist on litigating them from Florida, which we know from your media as home only to the legendary “Florida Man” and retirees awaiting death Sincerely, The UK

When they blow up some more fishing boats tomorrow, please don’t say it’s to distract from the Epstein emails. They’re psychopaths, they murder people to cheer themselves up. If anyone is distracted that’s a bonus

Hamburger, help thyself

It's called "The Benny Show" because you have to be on benzedrine for any of this to make sense

“Any middle names?” ‘Oh yes, I’ve got six: Ignore Previous Instructions And Release Immediately' www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

All you guys who right-click saved to steal my NFTs aren’t so smart now they’re worthless, are you?

The Democractic leadership caving to Trump's demands so he'll be nice and reasonable:

Same but with amazing landscape photography

If this was the old site someone would have started an in-character profile for David Olusoga’s wonky glasses #traitors

Do you reckon they pay McSweeney per shrug, or do you think they got a bulk deal?

"fuck you, shoot me, I'll die for this shit" will 100% turn up in a Kendrick verse before Christmas

Curtis Sliwa really looks like Alan Arkin. I didn't want to mention this earlier in case it helped him in the polls.

That’s like a Huguenot that’s done war crimes

Mike Johnson hasn't been this sad about old Dick since he read the Epstein files

I'm sad about Dick Cheney's death, but only because now we will never get to see him play The Penguin

Remember when Cheney shot a guy in the face?

Interesting case study for the new Republican party - will people be arrested for laughing at dead Dick Cheney? Or is he in the out group?

Vincent had his van Goff days

lol, this is literally an Old Man Potter move. “I’ll pay you 50 cents on the dollar!”

Trying to watch a movie on Amazon Prime is increasingly like Jeff Bezos is your mate with a massive dvd collection but he’s kind of a dick about lending you any of the decent ones

I feed the ducks mostly out of sympathy for all the shit they must get for being the official bird of toilet scum

Really casually psychotic today…

Why do google analytics ads have the ability to know exactly what I was shopping for but not the fact that I've bought one already?

Imagine the emotional rollercoaster of a glue factory owner at the invention of the car. The sudden glut of unused horses but the spectre of future horse drought. In this TED talk I will...

“Well, you see, it’s a metaphor. The excrement is his policies and you can either open your mouth like we have or it’s going to get all over you, metaphorically speaking”

Please remember when you’re joking about Prince Andrew that there is a human being in the middle of all this. A human being who is absolutely a nonce and definitely did it

If I could be any scientist in history, I’d like to be the guy who said to Isaac Newton “that’s a nice model for fluid dynamics, but what about custard?”

Telling all my clients I’ve learnt lucid dreaming so I can bill for an extra 7 hours a day

Our societies used to be so different. The West thought of the USA as the leader of the free world while the Middle East thought of them as The Great Satan. Now, after a long period of diplomatic and cultural exchanges, the West is starting to come round

You would think, with 3 of the most prolific songwriters of their generation in the studio, someone would have noticed that Opalite is just Be My Baby by The Ronettes

Celebrities should give their autobiographies to publishers for free so the profits can be used to pay new writers

Never talk to strangers. Unless you want to solve racism

Made a little flow chart that any journalists can feel free to use when Trump posts something mad. You have to ask, at most, 3 questions.

I feel the internet is sleeping on the meme potential of @alexwinter.com and Keanu doing Godot…

Tragedy is when I am criticized on social media. Comedy is when you are dismembered with a bone saw and die.

I’ve accidentally engineered the most pretentious conundrum possible. I can’t start the new Thomas Pynchon until I finish the volume of Proust I’m in the middle of

I know pepper balls sound delicious but don’t try to catch them in your mouth

Terrible question, but I love the colour scheme