Good night.

"christmas is in 5 days" don't say that. why say that? that's the fakest shit i ever heard

on the fifth day of christmas my family gave to me FIVE BOOK IDEAS four "about your weight"s three "hey quick favor" two petty gripes and a crash out about chatgpt

‘It was snowing. It was always snowing at Christmas. December, in my memory, is white as Lapland, though there were no reindeers. But there were cats.’ ~ Dylan Thomas, A Child's Christmas in Wales. #BookWormSat 🖼️ White Cat in a Blue Winter, Mary Stubberfield.

Lovely phone family, if you've got any shopping deliveries from @ocado.bsky.social this week, be aware that many of the published offer prices will NOT apply from today until the new year. Apparently there's a pop-up notice but I missed it, so have paid full price for many items (over £10 extra).

important

We have a houseguest this weekend: Chumbles the cat, a longtime friend of the family, is here while his person recovers from surgery. Chumbles is, I must say, a *fine* fellow, quite polite and distinguished.

Spell check existed long before genAI and in its most basic function is not genAI. Spell check is code. It's a function. It checks against a database of available words. Spell check in certain programs, however, may have been made worse by running it through genAI.

Please excuse radio silence. I'm in the middle of a trauma response.

I was just recounting how I used to replace the words of Chattanooga Choo Choo & sing “Pardon me sir, are you the chap who Googles YouTube?” to my husband. And that’s probably one of many, many, many reasons that I no longer have a husband.

Apparently "not a very nice goat"

this is the greatest feeling, when the cord box proves its utility to a family member

Delilah thinking she’s hiding 🐈‍⬛ 🎄

Our neighbor Brian

Okay, I’m breaking my promise (sorry) because I forgot one of my favourites, which is a Nigerian way of disparaging someone’s intellect that goes “why are you such a Dundee United?” Dundee has been synonymous with being idiotic ever since Dundee United’s disastrous West African tour in the 1970s.

Came across Clarissa Dickson-Wright’s autobiography in a charity shop. It is everything a devotee of weird history could hope for

What’s good about Walliams is we don’t have to separate the art from the man

I still recommend this dramatisation every year since its launch. The sound design is magnificent so worth listening on headphones. Interested in discovering any other winter listening rituals that others have. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

I made one of those ‘recycled tomato purée tube’ wreaths that were very fashionable on Insta the other year. Ollie says it looks like a ‘pagan goddess’s headdress’ so I count that as a success.

And this is why we have 'House Cheese', as distinct from The Christmas Cheese

As a former editor of Popbitch – and the proud owner of a legal letter sent by HarperCollins, accusing me of being "highly likely to cause serious harm to [their former star client]’s reputation both as an individual and author” – may I just say: GET IT RIGHT UP YE

“Yet division is all that Farage and Polanski offer. Both deliberately exclude some Brits. Both seek to blame our problems on some ‘other’ group – trying to play us off against one another. For Farage, it’s foreigners and migrants. For Polanski, corporations” is an almost impressively stupid take.

I've just told the boiler service man that we can’t pay him for repairing our boiler and that he should do it purely for the exposure since that’s just the way things work nowadays.

My professional artists peers! We got a survey request! Researchers at the University of Carnegie Mellon is doing a research to see how generative Al has (or has not) impacted your work and/or sentiments in the industry. Folks in creative fields only, please consider filling this out 👇

Really? Spreading lies about me? Really dude? Who are you to demand proof while calling me 'vermin' on your block list? Where's your proof? Because literally everyone knows I was copied by a scammer. WRITERS BEWARE HAVE A WHOLE ARTICLE JESUS CHRIST

Okay, tonight's inventory selections. Today's feature is a naja-style necklace and a cuff that matches perfectly [shown below]. We have two other najas, one with a cuff that matches, the other with earrings that match.

I just saw someone yell “they’re just using it to generate ideas!” And I hate to say it But if you work in the ART DEPARTMENT and you need a death machine stuffed with your colleagues’ work to give you ideas Quit.

I grew up LOVING Bill Cosby. He turned out to be a monster. I was glad it came out. I was a fan of Neil Gaiman. He turned out to be a monster. I was glad it came out. Varying levels of fandom, varying degrees of monsterdom -- Franken, Whedon. It came out. I was bummed. But it was good it came out.

www.waterstones.com/events/child... You can see David Walliams at Waterstones Dundee in Feb for @waterstones.bsky.social Festival. I do hope he wears his super hero costume for the kids. I doubt his PR persons will attend now he's been dropped. He might have to make his own way there on the train.

Hereford's 30 Proof Cow Spirits (1976-circa 1982): A line of thick, creamy, 15% alcohol milk beverages, aimed primarily at women, black consumers, and young drinkers. Available in flavors like mocha, banana, chocolate mint, strawberry, and more...a 🧵

Did you know that the highest incidence of trichomoniasis is in late perimenopause/early menopause? You do now! vajenda.substack.com/p/when-vagin...

"BUY ‘LULLABY’ NOW linktr.ee/T4Plive All profits from the single go to the Together for Palestine Fund, held by Choose Love... to support Palestinian-led organisations Taawon, Palestine Children's Relief Fund and the Palestine Medical Relief Society." www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUgt...

You know, when I was in my early 20s I wasnt allowed to do events with a specific author so he couldn't get me alone. That was thirty years ago. How lovely that publishing hasn't changed a bit.

Hear me out: Advent calendars, but counting down to your birthday. It’s not fair that only Jesus gets this.

It's being called "the worst kept secret in publishing/entertainment/lowbrow comedy" but if *everyone* knew, how was he still marketable? So this must be genuine news to someone, and that's who I'm curious about.

Every time there's a breaking story about a celeb's treatment of women, everyone in the book world asks, "Is it finally Walliams?" Well, it finally is.

🎶 She wore an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny…

I take it all back we should absolutely let AI run the vending machines

“Love it or hate it it’s here to stay” is a crazy thing to keep saying about a technology. If people don’t like using something it doesn’t have to stay we’re not talking about bad weather here

A gentle reminder if you've received an invoice from a Freelancer/Self employed person which is due before Christmas. Be a love, and pay it today.

Mozilla approved the Times New Roman to accessible fonts plugin! You can find it here for Firefox and it'll update automatically when, and if, anything more is requested. 🙌

And this is why it’s a good idea to have a scientifically-trained proofreader somewhere in your brand launch team.

Bought this book for my two mates’ babies for Christmas and I’m dying.

HERRO

I'm biased but if this Christmas you are looking for silly, warm, dark, complex novel about an antique dealer who lives with a hyper-intelligent semi-aquatic folkloric creature who loves knitting, might I recommend this? It's quite weird and not for everyone but some people seem to think it's ok...

Dear members of the public: if you book a table for 4 and 7 of you turn up, you are cunts.

Dog-whistle and factually incorrect. Ladies, raise your hand if you were sexually assaulted by a boy at school? I’d wager this or a family member is most women’s first experience of sexual violence

2013 was the first time in 30 years the Maine shrimp season was canceled. It never reopened (if you had Maine shrimp in the intervening years, it was from the small "test catch" done to see if they could reopen. This year's catch was < 7 pounds). This is just so sad. We did this.

Isn’t it amazing the way life can seem too short, and intrinsically magical, yet at the same time feel like a long, uphill road, potholed with fuckwits?

I’m looking for 100% Filipino people who are willing to submit a cheek swab test in hopes for a genetic match to my aunt, who is battling blood cancer. The registry for stem cells doesn’t have many Filipino people in it, and joining it could help many. Please share/reach out to me! bit.ly/4aiUIKQ