Tiny Tim is the weakest character in A Christmas Carol

Decided to start Balatro on my phone after losing my full completion version on my Switch (whoever stole the Switch, enjoy it). I had forgotten just how annoying it gets.

The only time I ever use the word ‘skulking’ is to describe what the cat is doing under the Christmas tree

I don’t know what half of you are talking about and talk about you half as much as you deserve

Instagram has taken to defaulting to new posts as reels, which means I accidentally posted a photo as a reel. Whatever. But now it’s trying to force data engagement on me as some sort of dopamine reward?

There are so many more of these men out there www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

Right so there’s a shoe shop on the high st called DEICHMANN and as we passed it Dan pointed out the lighted sign was broken so it was just flashing DEICH so I loudly said “DEICH” just as a woman walked past and she gave me a filthy look just as I realised what I’d accidentally called her.

Best bit of the season

One of the most delightful holiday traditions 🎄

Pretty much all writing advice, mainly because unless you know the writer and their process well, it probably isn’t helpful and might even be harmful. But the one that I dislike the most and advise against is ‘show your work to family/friends as beta readers’.

I was just in one of those shops that sell absolutely everything and a woman was on her phone and loudly said “I’m in one of those shops that sell absolutely everything” and I laughed because I was buying a big plunger, a Christmas gift bag, and some new tree lights while browsing the incense aisle

Audible categories continue to baffle

Incredible work by authorities here. Utterly terrifying.

I quite often read the wiki page for Keith Harris. There is no mention of what became of Orville. Cuddles now runs a car washing service in Hartlepool.

every wiki article about classic UK comedy like "Father and Sons was a comedy duo comprised of Reg Father and Tommy Sons, who appeared on a record breaking 18,450 episodes of The Light Applause Hour. Reg Father died in 1988 of Cigarette Fever. Tommy Sons remains alive in prison since 1997"

Today’s debate with a friend is whether Paddington is asexual or just a child

Can we only call him this from now on

I’m working over xmas but I did get to have A Night Out last night which involved very good barbecue from Smokestak (recommended), an incredibly horrible fizzy tomato water cocktail from a cosy Shoreditch bar (my fault) and this vintage jumper which seems to have the Marlboro logo on

Audible categories continue to baffle

When I die Don’t cry or scream Just put me in A Paddington meme - absolutely nobody

I have the extreme joy of being writer-in-residence so have been there for rehearsals and filming, Maggie is incredible and this year’s lectures are a must-watch.

IDEA: permanent bonding jigsaw. You put two pieces together, they’re stuck forever. Be very sure.

Ahh nice thing. I do an app called Minutiae where you get a daily alarm and have to take a photo of whatever you’re looking at in that moment. You then get matched with a random anon user from somewhere in the world and you can see each other’s photos. V wholesome so far. Anyway, just now, my pic:

Christmas card of the year so far (from mischievous friends)

I was going to watch a horror movie after dinner but I’m too full

I thought that I would never see A lie as big as ‘ripe and ready’ But avocados are easy to cutter Compared to the lie that is ‘spreadable butter’

It always annoys me when people say Michael Caine is the only human in a Muppet Christmas Carol, because that’s not remotely true. Anyway, I just saw an old promo interview with Michael Caine where he says “I’m the only human in it”.

important

Check Santa’s hard drive, he’s got a list of kids

1988

This gets worse the more you read

Does anyone know who first called AI output ‘slop’?

Am I the only person who doesn’t like Carol of the Bells? It gives me a weird sensory irritation.

DECK THE HALLS WITH BOWSER HOLLY

ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT CHRISTMAS WRAITH. EVERYONE DEAD.

I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

this is the most "Get a Job, Stay Away From Her" I've ever felt

You will be visited by 3 ghosts

A classic line for the cinema ages

Just remembered Snoke and laughed out loud

I wanted to hate this but by the end I was a vegan

This is diabolical. How can an AI justify or explain its choices, or use judgement and licence to translate in the context of the author’s overall style and intent? Translation is an art, not an exact science. One wrong word choice can change meaning entirely.

surely there's more to it than that

Oh god I just saw another famous actor I can’t name. Not this again.

Fantastic piece on the state of school lunches and the declining role of the dinner lady (my mom was one) unherd.com/2025/12/what...

Just got home with a box of chicken. Bit tipsy. Decided to watch a 1993 episode of Surprise Surprise. Cilla surprises a man who, as a child twenty years before, starred in a Hovis bread advert but hadn’t seen it since because that’s how telly worked in those days. ANYWAY, they play the ad and…

Good morning

Wow!

🎶Harry Potter, he's the boy, the boy with the scar on his head. His parents are dead.🎶