Xx

There are 11,000 otters in Britain. 8,000 of them live in Scotland. This one lives mostly in the pub. (the source for some of this information is Richard Osman's House of Games)

Honest book review: Yep, it was good. But rather than me overstating the value of this one largely due to the personal bias of me spending time reading it, out of the 4 million published books in the world, it's likely there are thousands which would be more meaningful to you.

"Wild? We're livid."

#MyFavouriteDailyActivityIs finding humour

Mushroom crop harvested

My dad was SUCH a scatterbrain. (He was a hitman, it was kind of his signature)

Last Week Tonight Yesterday: Here’s last night’s story about New College of Florida, the small liberal arts school that has been taken over by Governor Ron DeSantis. Plus, some quick standup tips for the school’s administrators! We’re helping the only way we know how. youtu.be/jFMc07F1UUU

Matt Burgess, WIRED: “The aggressive policies by the Trump administration, attacking international law, as well as the EU and democratic principles, has led to several wake-up calls” @marietjeschaake.bsky.social We've now documented around 40 efforts to abandon or replace US technology in Europe

9. Due to excellent posts and humour. Like this one.

Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.

US interference in the World Cup is mounting. Iran squad moved from Tuscon (Arizona) to Mexico in May. "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action." Along with US entry denial of a Swiss star player (since TACOed), these are indicators of more to come. 1/3

Trump: I call all the shots! Hegseth: I’ll have a slippery nipple

Amalgamating all this week's horoscopes, your bag of parsnips shopping order will be replaced with an owl sex helmet.

Looks like the UK is going for some combination of client-side scanning/similar approach, plus device-level age verification requirements? Cannot see Apple/Google voluntarily implementing what the government wants within the three months that's been asked

Plugged heavily and hilariously in the main running gag on the heavily unadvertised new Mock the Week last night. But then they went and overdid it and showed most of Unacceptable in the first ad break. Coming to TLC Sunday 5th July, 9pm.

On Mock the Week (special summer run on TLC) last night there was an odd secondary running gag about pigeon jizz on statues. Now it all makes sense.

As I've been winding down tour, I've turned down most requests. But when @novaramedia.com asked me to return, I immediately said yes. My first conversation with @aaronjbastani.bsky.social was a favorite. Grateful we had a reunion to reflect on everything a year on. 💗 www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFwK...

George Monbiot: This is not the first extra sweetener the government has given the project. The money it is spending on this short stretch of road could instead be used to transform the entire national transport system for the better, as the figures here show:

In the next Cabinet reshuffle: Peter Thiel appointed Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster Stephen Cohen (Palantir) Health Secretary Alex Karp (Palantir) Defence Secretary Joe Lonsdale (Palantir) AI Secretary [newly created position] Nathan Gettings (Palantir) Under-Secretary of Personal Data

Well done, Armenia. Birthplace of my grandfather. The last time I went there 18 years ago, it was firmly under the influence of the Russian mafiya. A new beginning.

Something is jamming GPS over Europe. Researchers have traced the signal to a single Russian military satellite, Cosmos 2546, part of Russia's early missile-warning constellation. https://youtu.be/tz23G_UXCGA

Three years ago tomorrow, I very nervously gave this speech. I knew my career as a TV journalist was dunzo, cooked, filleted, kaput the morning I wrote it. (Thanks to Kat insisting I go for it anyway.) The end is awfully prescient at this exact second, though. Big ups to Scott Pelley for fighting.

After Trump got effectively dick punched so hard he had to tantrum out the interview, NBC are to rename the programme "Press the Meat"

Meowie Antoinette

"I would like to thank the Academy, my agent, and Timothy Dalton for demonstrating that one can achieve screen success despite having the acting range of a ham."

Reform Candidate Sh*ts Himself On National TV Rob Kenyon’s Question Time appearance was an absolute abortion but despite that and his sexism, he could still win Makerfield regardless. I explain how and why, while absolutely ripping the piss out of him youtu.be/WAw3V2XZqqk

there’s been a terrible accident down at the blowjob factory

My wife says I’m a sex machine.. She calls me a fucking tool but I know what she means.

"Here is a Cadbury's mini egg... which I shan't be giving you."

Hello? Who is this replying to... ah, yes, no, that's my mate who just changed their profile pic after years using the same one.

Qatar. The hardest country in the world to fly around.

def ieid hdrfcinirfucnonfn - King Charles ordering special gloves online.

The problem with late capitalism is that eventually you run out of other people's money

Brand new "special summer run" of Mock The Week on TLC right now. Will be on TLC +1 in an hour.

Or 🪆 nesting planes

Hope this helps 🙂 😂 🐿️

Russian interference in UK politics - European court ruling Sergei Cristo: "This matters because six of the seven judges came from countries where Russian interference has been notably successful" @carolinelucas.bsky.social, @benbradshaw.bsky.social, @alynsmith.bsky.social, @peterjukes.bsky.social

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

"What do you deduce from this situation, Brad?" - "It would appear that someone has stolen our tent, Steve."

Great thread from Ingmar: This is a historic shift. But it invites a fair objection that deserves a real answer. Fossil fuels do not compete on a level field. Governments around the world still spend enormous sums keeping fossil energy cheaper than it otherwise would be. But it is still winning!

[whispering to crying baby] You have no idea

The escalator somehow misses the 2nd floor, and you’re crushed into the lobby ceiling.

'whatever “music” is, John is the opposite'

It was all fake

Xx

Including a big wobbly novelty carrot and a machine that fires mashed potato and something else that you haven't heard of because it goes to a different arsenal

'The olden days are for you, not me' insists plonker A knobhead who goes round insisting everything was rose tinted better in the past and everyone should have that world, has taken a £700k slice out of his £5 mil security bung to convert his classic beachside pad into a 'contemporary' eyesore.

James O’Brien‬: "...the people who brought you the first two disasters are working so hard to detoxify [Farage] in two main ways… First, pretend his disgusting positions are normal and sit back while they become normalised. Second, amplify his ludicrous narrative of whining victimhood."

The disgraceful individuals loudly and disgracefully complaining that there is a two-tier policing system acting against them, are the very people who are benefiting from it. And they know it. In claiming they are the victims, they betray the real victims of it, making them victims a second time.