I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles.. The lady said, "Hardback?" I replied, "Yes, with little wrinkled heads"

Ever hear of the rock band The Keys? They were the opening act for The Doors.

I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles.. The lady said, "Hardback?" I replied, "Yes, with little wrinkled heads"

Ever hear of the rock band The Keys? They were the opening act for The Doors.

Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 packs of Red Bull.. I don't know how these people sleep at night!

I got a telekinetic abacus for a birthday present.. It's the thought that counts.

The mobile shop next door has moved.. The stationery shop is still there though.

Labour pumping the accelerator in the race to the bottom. The Danish policy confiscates jewelry from asylum seekers to cover costs. I'm married to the daughter of a refugee and by far the most important objects in the in-laws house are the handful of pieces of jewelry her family arrived here with.

The mobile shop next door has moved.. The stationery shop is still there though.

I got a telekinetic abacus for a birthday present.. It's the thought that counts.

Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 packs of Red Bull.. I don't know how these people sleep at night!

Happy 🏳️‍🌈TRANS AWARENESS WEEK!🏳️‍🌈 There are so many amazing Trans people in the Vtubing and streaming community! Trans pals, introduce yourself below! Everyone else, go and check out one of the Trans streamers in this thread! I'll start! I'm Oceonax, a Retro Anime Vtuber, Artist, and Trans girl! 💜✨

Hello lovely phone family. I hope you're all well. Just popping by to let you know today is #WorldKindnessDay 🥰 Let's keep sprinkling the good stuff around. Have an amazing day everyone and of course always #HaveCourageAndBeKind ♥️

“Populism, as I see it, is the 99% versus the 1% — the working majority against a tiny elite that has taken our power and wealth.” Green Party Leader Zack Polanski speaks to CNN about hope, unity and taking on billionaire-backed politics.

Without asylum: Marks and Spencer wouldn't exist Queen would have been without a front man The other queen wouldn't have had a husband Judith Kerr would never have written The Tiger Who Came to Tea And thousands of less famous people wouldn't have been teachers, politicians, neighbours, etc

Apparently we should vote for this to prevent Reform right?

This is as bad as anything proposed by Reform. Leaving refugees in permanent limbo and unable to build a new life in the UK would be a complete abdication of our humanitarian responsibilities www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

In any other timeline, his ass would be getting dragged to a permanent jail cell. It’s NOT NORMAL to ignore the fact that he raped children.

Remember: The richest 1% evade over $160 billion in taxes every year. That amount would fund SNAP for a year with money to spare. Ask yourself who the real freeloaders are.

I moved my bed to another room all by myself.. I could have called friends to help, but sometimes you’ve got to take mattress into your own hands.

I moved my bed to another room all by myself.. I could have called friends to help, but sometimes you’ve got to take mattress into your own hands.

People have tried to say that the Green surge is just on social media. Or in a bubble that's just about polls and just about new members. Yet up and down the country - Greens are also winning elections. Huge congratulations to the Canterbury Greens! 💚🎉 Join.greenparty.org.uk

So Wes Streeting allies want him to become Prime Minister - for the Labour Government to tank even faster. We don't have time to play these silly games - people are suffering now. Keep growing the alternative - they need replacing. Join.greenparty.org.uk

Gary Lineker!

Chadwick Boseman to Get Posthumous Star on Hollywood Walk of Fame share.google/GHVsTaIrRYnS...

He's undoubtedly planning the Mother of all Distractions but can't think of anything to top flying over a city in a crown dropping poo on American citizens.

My son told me he just watched a guy do 100 straight push-ups, and asked me if I could do that… “Sure son.” I said. “Hell, I could probably watch a guy do 500 straight pushups.”

I tried to pay cash at the plagiarism store.. but they only take credit.

I tried to pay cash at the plagiarism store.. but they only take credit.

"This energy!!!" 👏👏👏👏 Zack Polanski joins Rizzle Kicks out on stage in Bristol

Zack takes the fight to number ten

I’m beginning to think that McSweeney is to Starmer what Cummings was to Johnson.

My son told me he just watched a guy do 100 straight push-ups, and asked me if I could do that… “Sure son.” I said. “Hell, I could probably watch a guy do 500 straight pushups.”

Rod Stewart started following me this morning, then he suddenly unfollowed me because I hadn’t followed him back 😢 He didn’t have any followers and if he had just a teeny weeny bit of patience, I just might have been his first follower.

If Labour finally shift their policy on the two child limit, it's clear that was Zack Polanski and the Green Party - Novaras report. youtu.be/WUD9Oax3Mrs?...

And today it's the turn of The Times to try and patronise us all. Every single day the right wing establishment tries to close ranks. And every day we are growing. Join.greenparty.org.uk

The BBC is right wing, but not right wing enough as we’re slowly drawn into fascism.. So their plan is to replace BBC with GB News as the country’s main news outlet. Is that about right?

"Zealously Pro Palestinian party" Genocide is bad actually.

@superleggera.bsky.social Happy Birthday Superleg. May the best of your past be the worst of your future! 🥳🎂🎉 P S: Yep, I remembered 😉

I would support these current raids on high street shops a bit better if the corrupt rich at the top of the food chain were also raided. Hypocrisy at its best.

Billionaires and corporations are causing climate breakdown. It's time to tax the rich. www.newstatesman.com/spotlight/su...

If you've ever needed a reason to rally behind the BBC then this is it.

I think tonight shows why “moderate to win elections” is a real risk the big divide in the Dem caucus, as many have noted, has been less moderate vs progressive than fight versus don’t fight but it’s not a coincidence that basically everyone in the “don’t fight” camp is a moderate

Maybe Keir should demand the heads of major US news networks any time they imply Britain is on the brink of civil war or that we live under sharia law. Or does it not work both ways?

I lost my pizza cutter so I tried to use an old Rod Stewart CD instead.. It worked all right at first, but the edge got dull pretty quickly.. The first cut was the deepest.

During prayer request I asked the Preacher to pray for my hearing; He took me to the front of the church, anointed me with oil, then had the elders pray vigorously for me.. When they finished, the preacher asked “How's your hearing?” I said “I don’t know, it’s not till next week”

I went to the local video shop and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever.. They said no, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow.

This man resigned because Trump threw his toys out of the pram. What’s the logic in thinking that his replacement will be any better? Same question goes for Kuenssberg, Mason etc if they ever leave.

Cheers! We don't have to agree on absolutely everything. But want lower bills? Think billionaires should pay more tax? Join.greenparty.org.uk

I lost my pizza cutter so I tried to use an old Rod Stewart CD instead.. It worked all right at first, but the edge got dull pretty quickly.. The first cut was the deepest.