They could have at least waited for my kids to be back in school.

lol

NEW: Plans for secret U.S. raid to capture Maduro leaked to the Washington Post and New York Times before it happened, but both decided not to publish to protect U.S. troops - Semafor

What if none of these things is a distraction from the other things and instead they're all just horrible things

What planet does Schumer live on? Holy crap. We really need someone running the Senate Dems who doesn't have weak tea running through their veins.

Just woke up even angrier. Impeach, convict, remove. Draft articles now. Either we have a representative government or we don’t. Do not shut up about this until there’s a vote.

Are we supposed to call our reps and tell them we don’t like when the president engages in overt war crimes, or can we trust them to get there on their own?

hey remember when a bunch of middle-aged drunk korean lawmakers climbed the locked gates to the national assembly to hold an emergency session after the president gave illegal orders to the military, all of which ended with said president being sentenced to prison

Picked up a bunch of followers recently and it’s NOT because I’m good at posting. Maybe people really are finally leaving the shit app?

Rock and dust samples brought back from the near-Earth asteroid Bennu contain organic matter, including amino acids and all five DNA and RNA nucleobases, according to two papers published in Nature Astronomy and Nature in January. go.nature.com/40SlwfF go.nature.com/3CC6ZLO 🔭 🧪

That’s a wrap. Or should I say… a WARP?! No. Wrap makes more sense. Now make a Cerritos one you Danes!!

Elon Musk's accomplishments over the last year include starving thousands of people to death (and laughing about it) and creating Hitler AI that undresses children (and laughing about it). Is it time to do something about billionaires yet?

If you’re looking for a fun artistic treat, try reading the book of Marathon Man and then watching the film. Both the novel and the screenplay are written by William Goldman (who also wrote the book and script to Princess Bride). A great way to learn about adaptation IMO!

i love this photo from the inauguration by the talented @gregpak.net

We gotta imprison each of these shithead AI ceo's in a different data center like the minotaur

Love to see the “find out” era for all these crooked shits seems to be starting.

Holy shit it's real

Do you swear to yell “cowabunga” when you and the other ninja turtles leap into battle? I do.

If you start "Fissure Quest" at exactly 11:32:58 pm tonight, Boimler will scream "Holy (bleep)! We're all going to die!" just as 2026 begins. No worries If you're late! You can start "The New Next Generation" at 11:54:25 & he'll do the same thing! The perfect way to start 2026. #StarTrekLowerDecks

New Years Eve means we’re another day closer to season 2 of The Pitt.

The final Calvin and Hobbes, which appeared in papers 30 years ago today.

The photo you want to see beside the register at the cheeseburger place.

Disney should make this Star Wars ride fast pass kiosk into an action figure set that makes no sense. W/ action figures of adult Luke, kid Obiwan, Paploo the only good Ewok and Dash Rendar. This post is just for me.

on arc raider some dickhead was taking pot shots at me for like 10 minutes so i hid and waited for him and when he came around i jumped out and murked his ass. he got on the voice chat and called me a bitch. he was like 12 and absolutely screaming in his house. im 41. gaming is fucking back baby

🚨TOUGH BIKER TATTOO ALERT🚨

One of the few films from the last 10 years that I think should be considered among the canon of Christmas classics. This movie had real magic.

AI sloppers (is that a term?) crying that their prompts are being stolen is more beautiful than anything AI could produce

My sister is cool/ adorable. She works in costuming and is also a milliner. Which means she can make all sorts of hats, but what she likes to make is Energy Domes. (Short 🧵)

Yes, this forever!

Stan is the real deal and was very fun to work with on Lower Decks!

I’M IN THAT “PICKING A NEW BOOK BY READING FIRST CHAPTERS” BLISS

Hohoho! I drew this year's holiday card for my art rep, Felix Comic Art. I wanted the recipients to get something that looked like a piece of vintage original art, but also couldn't help poking some fun at Felix's love for Dark Knight Returns.

Remember what’s important today! (That there’s a Solar Opposites Christmas special about the aliens being sucked into the movie Jingle All The Way that I wrote without having watched Jingle All The Way, but I got pretty damn close to guessing what it was about.) (I did watch the trailer.)

To me, my X-Mas!

🎄🎁🎅🏼

"You there, boy! [slurpy inhale sound] What day is it?"

Delete that shit right now friends.

Today my six-year-old put his head against his brother’s and said “let’s connect ponytail weiners” so don’t tell me Avatar has no cultural footprint.

“Like prime, but with human beings”

Watched Princess Bride with Noël today for her birthday and she gasped in delight at every Westley/Buttercup kiss.

To my mutuals and everyone who goofs off with me on here, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You. You’ve made the year wonderfully memorable. From the Orion family to you, whoever you are, wherever you are, happy holidays. 🖖🏻

For the holidays, the Dune pain box has a cookie in it.

Let's do a fun Xmas thing. As we order delivery food during this SoCal storm, let's all overtip the delivery people. Like, madly.

In 2023 I became obsessed with videos of dads in cargo shortswaiting in parking lots during Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. So when she came to town, I grabbed a camera and headed down to talk to them. I thought it'd be funny. It turned out to be something else entirely.

If you begin Star Trek: Voyager episode Spirit Folk at exactly 11:49:35 on New Year's Eve, Ensign Harry Kim will kiss a cow as the clock strikes midnight. Join in a very dumb annual tradition and start 2026 off on the right hoof.

The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5

I feel like when this movie first came out, they advertised it like a silly Tim Allen movie. Then my dad and I watched it on a plane a few months later, and we were both blown away. My dad’s not a big movie fan, but he spent the next few weeks telling everybody how great it was. I am, and so did I!

Lower Decks tattoo: done!