every day and with increasing frequency i'm called on the phone by sultry-voiced sirens with names like "Scam Likely"

i'm cautiously optimistic about starfleet academy tbh. the cast looks good, it'll be neat to see how the doctor's extremely long existence has changed him, and i just kinda like the concept of it.

First post of the year baby, first motherfuckin' post of 2026. Gotta give the people the best post I can to kick off the year. A real banger. An absolute all-gas-no-brakes supreme humdinger of a post to kick off the year and set the tone for everything to come. Here goes: Cock. And perhaps balls. 💖

i deserve to be financially compensated for that string of puns

We're Gonna Play This Smart (rerun)

Even grading on the curve of “she’s there’s to propagandize fascist ideology”, Bari Weiss is supremely bad at her job.

i dunno man i don't think "lionizing one war criminal to own another war criminal" is a viable political strategy

sisko should not have let quark's "ferengi never had slaves" remark fly, if i'd been there i'd have immediately clapped back with "oh yeah and what would your moogie say about that" and then he'd bite me and i'd die of an infection but i'd look very very smug in my coffin and that's the real victory

only in america could you have people applauding a fascist for saying “fuck you fascist pedophile” to her equally fascist boss and somehow see that as a win for democracy

no, that was pre Twitter migration, we don’t call them skeets now. style guide says they’re called ejaculating into a spoon. so for example you don’t say “did you see that guy’s skeet” you say “did you see where that guy ejaculated into a spoon on Bluesky”

And give them guns

I been told y'all Newsom is a snake in a grass and a few quips in a Twitter aura war does not at all make him remotely qualified to be president

merriam webster can suck me sideways, "y'all'dn't've" is a word

i can never wrap my mind around the concept of hatefollowing like if you hate a person why would you follow them why would actively ask the site to funnel their posts in front of you intentionally

leftists on bluesky dot website. is this anything

You're absolutely right—and honestly? Thank you for pointing that out. Here's a skeet that's funny, witty, and will leave your followers wanting more: penis

me every time a politician from my state says or does anything at all ever

beautiful moment of connection with my best friend when a star wars trailer came on in the cinema and there was some random background alien guy so we turned to each other and said "glup shitto" at the exact same time.

if you feel like you have an easier time having "real discussions" on the hitlerite app owned and run by and for nazis then i think the problem is you my good bitch.

Dudes Rock

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

iCloud, Mega, and as a torrent. Archivists have uploaded the 60 Minutes episode Bari Weiss spiked.

made some fucking butter chicken and it's really goddamn good. Attached is a link to the video I got the recipe from. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI_r...

we gotta stop calling games "action RPGs" they aren't RPGs they're action games with a bit more plot and your character levels up this shit is not an RPG I want actual RPGs please god please

explaining to the new trekkies that Faith of the Heart was originally made for Patch Adams soundtrack

Tbqh I think that monogamous people getting big mad when someone suggests that their lifestyle isn’t a replacement for routine STI testing is akin to the outrage of christofascists who feel oppressed bc they have to live alongside people different from them who don’t recognize their supremacy

Me when my cats won't stop yelling at me in unison

sorry im late, my penis got caught in an industrial capstan and i had to first google around to figure out what it was and then you know me adhd brain i spent like 45 minutes in a wikipedia hole about the history of capstans and etc and then finally duh the answer was "call 911" but anyway im here

AO3 writers: "That's free real estate"

i feel like any level of willing, knowing personal association with one of the most prolific serial child rapists in history is uh. inexcusable? indefensible? unacceptable? Really any and all of those words, and more.

me when i see the ice cream truck

PSA: there’s been an exploit for Signal and WhatsApp released that can be used to silently track you. Temp fixes for both can be done in your settings: For WhatsApp: Settings>Privacy>Advanced>Block unknown messages. For Signal: Settings>Privacy>Phone number>Who can find me by number>Nobody

"Fred, stop drinking on the fucking job, you installed the cupholders where the steering wheels are supposed to be."

Oh but when *I* dig through cellular rubbish I'm "trespassing" and "being forcefully escorted away from the Apple store dumpster"

The Voith-Schneider Propeller is a vertical-axis marine drive whose spinning blades change pitch continuously, letting a ship generate instant thrust in any direction, like a helicopter rotor underwater. Super-maneuverable, perfect for tugs and ferries.

i went to the bathrooms and stopped because i saw that they were labeled "ladies" and "gentlemen" but since i know that there are no true "gentle" men in this fallen and sinful earth i just sat uncomfortably on the bus for two hours and pooped at home.

okay but that ad literally did convince me to go get some pears. They were delicious, BTW.

Reminder, the guy who runs ChatGPT is being sued by his little sister for sexually abusing her for a decade: www.cnn.com/2025/01/08/b...

if you give a mouse a cookie

we all got cowed into avoiding "virtue signaling" as if the public affirmation of socially agreed upon ethical principles was somehow cringey instead of a significant part of what a "society" even is. now all there's left is vice signaling, and it's reshaping society.

criterion collection but for youtube poops

Anyone else not happy about how much mainstream coverage the Mexican white supremicist neo mazi twink is getting (this is what ill be calling him as to not contribute to the problem). I remember this in 2015 when Trump started to rise...