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Hey gang - my mother-in-law passed suddenly this weekend in New Orleans. She had three wonderful cats we’re looking to re-home by the end of next week, so if you or someone you know are in the area and could take on sweet Maggie, Max or Lucy, please DM me. Thanks!

My man getting uppies for the rest of his days

Hey gang - my mother-in-law passed suddenly this weekend in New Orleans. She had three wonderful cats we’re looking to re-home by the end of next week, so if you or someone you know are in the area and could take on sweet Maggie, Max or Lucy, please DM me. Thanks!

a lot of people are saying this is basically fighting in the age of loneliness if the mma used bigger cages and made fighters wear more clothes youtu.be/jZs5M-D2eNc?...

Kash Patel will leave no bottle unturned. I mean stone. Stone

People here are being really shitty, including at fellow journalists who might have been startled just a moment before biting into a big fully dressed hot dog. Journalists who may have reflexively squeezed the bun and sent the sausage sailing across the room into the delicate champagne tower

Flight attendants only give you that little cup of water because if everyone drinks it all up it makes the plane too light and it’ll fly into space

YESSS!!! STAY THRU THE CREDITS GUYS THATS ALL ILL SAY!!!!

The first edition of the podcast’s phone swapping game was a real hit. @demilardner.bsky.social

Me and my friends would have killed Popeye with hammers I can tell you that much

we all know I have no life, so:

this particular expression was totally serendipitous timing with the screenshot btw. nailed it in 1

please can we see @bencollins.bsky.social and company storm in mid-broadcast like the military in The Stand

alex jones is live right now with what may very well be his final (or almost) broadcast on InfoWars and things are totally normal

not the highlight, but the "Turn your piss into gold"/"Turn your gold into piss" ad combo on the site got me good. got me reeeeeal good. Man i love this

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

PSA: Intentionally “tanking” is just for NBA teams. It is apparently “not really a thing in a workplace environment” according to HR

Natalie if any of these guys making jokes about your partner’s name are bothering you please let me know.

how did Dylan Byers manage to fill an entire article with Vox Media hearsay while failing to scoop the actual biggest Vox Media news of the week

Nobody convinces you you're having a stroke before remembering there's one more round of play-in games tonight quite like our man @davidjroth.bsky.social

In the 70s a certain type of person could literally just walk up to guys like Ted Turner and say “hey can I have a job?” and he’d be like “sure kid knock yourself out”

Here’s the thing to remember you fucking punk: if you’re a librarian, YOU can talk as loud as you damn well please

Happy to announce that I am also selling myself for parts. We are spinning “chores and housecleaning” off to VaynerMedia; “Dealing with the bank” is going under the Valnet umbrella. And I will be able to once again focus on what I do best: the smoking weed and playing video games business. Onward!

Bluesky is not working because they have wisely pivoted to a new business model: diesel exhaust fluid. I bought a pallet

its canon that sheldon cooper and steven hawking are friends, which begs the question... did sheldon ever go to the island

I vape weed in a big bed with my wife

I'm hearing the NFL is coming back again, this fall

Directed by yours truly

And yet again congress continues to do nothing

highlight of the gig is that occasionally we get to work in a true "dudes rock" quote

The answer is because Sean Avery was on Dancing With The Stars, hosted by Tom Bergeron, which is mentioned at 7:08 of this piece in exactly one line. And folks that’s how the YouTube thumbnail sausage is made!!!

you guys see this great article

causing 52 fatalities and closing LaGuardia indefinitely because instead of issuing a hard emergency stop i was thanking EpicGooner420 for the 3-month gift sub

Still thinking about a sandwich I ate in Los Angeles two weeks ago. Man what a good sandwich. Not sure what else you want from me!!

causing 52 fatalities and closing LaGuardia indefinitely because instead of issuing a hard emergency stop i was thanking EpicGooner420 for the 3-month gift sub

SARUNAS '87 goes up Monday

wandering around the house muttering “Whew… Tough day…” and “Sure could go for a cold one right now…” or “Ugh… So thirsty…” until the player controlling me lets me reach into my inventory for a beer

They were also preeetty specific about it in the articles of secession. You don't get brother vs brother over mealy-mouthed shit like "states' rights"

This is it. The perfect sports blooper.

lfg

will someone join this prestigious list of losers tonight? youtu.be/xUY4wX1sGKM

one time I was walking into the bar and saw someone beating the shit out of a guy who was already on the ground and before I could intervene a regular was like, oh, no, he was sticking his fingers into girls’ mouths. see that same kind of thing on here every day

Hey fella come join the @secretbase.bsky.social Patreon instead. We post so much of our feet that people are begging us to stop. But we will never stop.

Taylor Lorenz is totally normal. April Fools 🖕

Nobody else gonna say it? Fine, I will. I think Byron Noem is a total smokeshow!!! Kristi honey if you don't want him, the rest of us will take a piece!!

goddamn lol

the reviews are in /// last day for 50% off on patreon

So @sethrosenthal.bsky.social and I made a big graphic charting every NBA Draft pick and their country of origin. Then we made a bunch of videos of some cool/interesting guys and trends therein. Right off the bat: here is that graphic. Hopefully it's hi-res enough to read it. Pretty cool!