Today in Jeremy's salad: collard greens, aloe vera, chickweed, pansy, and hibiscus

I am the ghost of Chanukah future, telling you to clean your menorah today before putting it away. You will thank yourself next year.

There are a couple of sheriffs standing around staring at something down the road and I had to quick make sure it wasn't Jeremy. He's home.

Free reaction shot for you to download

Seems like a pretty big caveat at the bottom, which will undoubtedly be ignored by their audience.

Sure, why not?

We have a winning Powerball ticket!!! . . . . $4

Forget to share this yesterday when both of these little shits found a way to escape the beer garden at the same time

This could be you!

My husband texted me this photo to show me that my exercises are working on my guns. It was so adorable of him, I don't even care that my phone reading double chin is in it.

Quality time with my idiot son

Hot girl on girl action

Jfc, white men went from dominating 96% of every single field to like 91%, and now the entire world has to pay.

🚨 Accidental Snug Alert 🚨

We have an auction site that is basically just all Amazon returns. They're literally set up in front of the Amazon warehouse. We get stuff from there all the time. Anyway if I win these there will be a Donald j Trump center for the performing arts sign on our bar toilet next week.

I'm sorry, but 'yer da shouts at hotels' is the best sticker ever made

I guess I'll sit somewhere else

This goat said ACAB

You can get stick on gold letters at Michaels or from temu and name anything you want after Donald j Trump. Especially shitters. But also dumpsters. Mop buckets. Vape stores. The world is your oyster.

Some kind of glitch has made my notification thingy always say one, no matter how many actual interactions have happened. I appreciate the system keeping my ego in check.

Ableism aside, what kind of psycho wants to hurry up so they can be on the plane longer?

Certified banger

I have spent the last two hours on the phone trying to get a hold of and get the services of someone who can process the rollover of a 22 year old 401k, and I wish nothing but ill upon the employees of Merrill Lynch and the Fiserve corporation. I hope Santa brings you coal.

EXCLUSIVE: the Working Families Party is putting out a recruitment call for people opposed to data centers in their communities to run for local office the recruitment effort comes just 2 days after Bernie Sanders called for a moratorium on data center construction

Why are Republicans making child penises?

Are there really that many people that pwant to eat a chicken's wang?

Look at this guy!

Oh, I see. We're doing self dealing autocrat mad libs.

Then the spouses, who generally manage the household finances, will have to figure out whether to use that lump sum on groceries, which they cannot afford, or to actually use it towards housing, which they cannot afford. Masterful plan.

Is this anything?

Back on our bullshit

Omg, y'all. Milton met Krampus.

How can you lose something you never had?

My report

Ken Paxton has launched a snitch line to gather reports of supposed violations of Texas' transphobic bathroom policing law. Please do not abuse this snitch line. Please do not fill it with faff and nonsense. Please do not attach huge, unwieldy and irrelevant documentation to any reports.

Today in Jeremy's salad: collard greens, henbit, Indian blankets, hibiscus and pansy

Wait. We're going to start a war with Venezuela because they are sending Don Jr's cocaine to Europe?? Can't he just go buy it there??

Scarlett thinks your New Year's resolution should be to adopt another dog

There was a bit of a menorah incident. 🕎

I am now in the phase of my life where I get random boxes mailed to me from men's prisons and it's actually great. Note that Ridhwan, artist of the piece on the left, is still seeking a female penpal, of you have any interest.

One way that the reaction to Rob Reiner's murder mirrors Charlie Kirk's is that the best way to eulogize each of them is to quote their words, and in both cases, doing so pisses off conservatives.

And that's why, when they retake power, Democrats are going to reach across the aisle and prioritize border security.

Me, when it happens

Mondays, ammirite?

Today is the last day for coverage starting January 1st, but the sign up period extends longer in most states. That coverage will begin in February.

Local and local-ish people who could get pregnant: Would you be interested in attending a short, free session on how to get, and help other Texans get, access to safe, legal abortion at home? The 401c3 that I work with, I'll Have What She's Having, puts on these clinics. I'd love to host one.

Birbwatching