I will say, when your leader was a Liberal Democrat until comparatively recently, this isn't a very convincing line

not unrecognizable but he does look like if Belgium had a dictator

PITCH: a literary/gaming crossover drag king act called Evelyn Waaaagh, which no one enjoys

the real Makerfield was actually inside us all along ☺️

This will be the first search for a new James Bond that won't involve the film's long-standing producers, the Broccoli family. Which is a shame, because they had an interesting way of screentesting all potential new Bonds with a really odd scene, for a really clever reason. Mini 🧵

hello! do I know anyone who's been going to those hip literary/poetry readings in London over the past couple of years, as a reader or audience member? if it is you, would you be happy to reply to maybe 2-4 quick questions from me, by message, for a fun piece I'm doing? anon would be fine! thanks!

worst possible new season of Traitors when

in this week's newsletter! I went insane from hayfever and wrote nearly 3,000 words on sandwiches (??), crucially including this recipe for The Perfect Sandwich, which I have made free to read as a public service: youngvulgarian.substack.com/p/i-dont-kno...

There's a lot of insane stuff here, but I think that we should really zero in on how he didn't want to drink more water, his computer decided that he wasn't and after that he told it to turn into creepy mommy. It's a complete surrender of his agency to the agent he's supposed to be running.

god I hate that all the tattoo artists I follow on Instagram are now posting videos of like, outfits they've worn this week or whatever, I follow tattoo artists because I want to see pictures of the tattoos they do, I hate that The Algorithm is forcing everyone out of their niche

That 'hardbacks are outdated' article had a lot of flak, but for lower-ranking authors like me the guy does have a point. You only really get one chance to promote your book, but it's in a format that costs £17.99. By the time people have 'waited for the paperback' they've very likely forgotten you.

naturally

9pm: yawning 2:12am: time to become a scholar on uncontacted tribes

Very smart piece from @jenwilliamsft.bsky.social on Andy Burnham. This line particularly stands out: "Andy wants to be loved and avoids making difficult decisions.” www.ft.com/content/9dd4...

in this week's newsletter! I went insane from hayfever and wrote nearly 3,000 words on sandwiches (??), crucially including this recipe for The Perfect Sandwich, which I have made free to read as a public service: youngvulgarian.substack.com/p/i-dont-kno...

have a take on Burnham becoming leader which I want to write up for a column next week and which no one has, to the best of my knowledge, written up so far, please no one write my take, I'm not going to tell you what it is so it doesn't get nicked but please know it's mine, thanks

right I'm sorry but did anyone actually get Connections this morning, I got yellow but the rest was so beyond me I don't even really consider it a game

Renowned during his New Labour days as a top tier fence-sitter. Why would we be expect this to have changed?

Amazing the personal risks people will take to preserve archival material www.theguardian.com/world/2026/m...

It's so hard seeing someone else live your dream

Thinking about my extremely foreign dad who never really picked up English and back when telemarketers used to call he would yell "I'm not interesting!" and hang up

The fact that Keir Starmer has drafted Morgan McSweeney back in to save him has to be funniest part of all of this. Truly committed to never learning a single lesson you have to give it to him

Makerfield??? I barely know 'er field!

They do eventually get to the thing I don’t understand: If you don’t learn how to do anything except plug prompts into chatbots, what do you envision anybody hiring you for? I would love it if people just *wanted* to be able to think critically, but it’s also practical?

god this is exactly it, Hail Mary is "Pixar's Arrival (2016)"

all things considered I think we should just keep Keir in post, I can't deal with a Labour leadership contest right now, thank you so much

parent friends! I've been asked to do some actual godmothering next week and take care of my one-year-old goddaughter while her parents go out for dinner then to the theatre - huge fan of kids but have never taken care of one solo, is there anything I should know/prepare for, thank you

Sex Matters and their fellow transphobes want to see trans and non-binary individuals entirely excluded from society. Fortunately most people don't. Overwhelming majority of people who use these ponds want them to be trans-inclusive. It is great they are remaining so. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

really really love the fact that the Instagram algorithm actually went for something that is........ technically entirely factually accurate there? but also just aggressively irrelevant, vibes wise

It is almost impossible to stress how utterly pathetic it is to say that the prime minister has failed and lost all authority and must be given a few more months because you miscalculated the timing on how you could personally benefit?? Fuck off with this

really enjoyed the circa 40 minutes earlier in London where the brief, heavy rain got rid of the pollen in the air, I look forward to remembering it fondly as my sinuses keep fighting for their lives over the next ?????? days* *if you reply to this suggesting I take antihistamines I will block you

Think it is also rooted in a misreading of the 2015 about being a rejection for him and not that 2010-15 broadly delivered for Conservative voters, so they voted for them again.

Whenever I walk past a sewer grate I hold my phone and think “it will cause a pretty big problem for me but I bet for a second it would feel very satisfying”

thanks, yougov

A remarkable speech from Naz Shah opening the King's Speech debate: "Someone like me who spent her formative years fighting a campaign to release her mother from prison, who did not have a formal education beyond 12... forced into a marriage at 15... attempting suicide... Yet, here I stand."

The "jokey" MP speeches at the start of the king's speech debate can be excruciating, but fair play to Naz Shah for taking the piss out of Nick Timothy by reassuring the Commons that her making such a speech, as a Muslim, is not "an act of domination".

my despair at having to deal with work emails has reached such heights today that I just yelped "emails!" to no one in particular, in my otherwise empty living room

I wouldn't ban these. I would just require every man who buys a pair to have to wear a hat saying "PERVERT!" and ring a bell when out in public while shouting "Creep! Unclean!"

excited to announce that James Graham and I will be starring in a new jaunty comedy about unexpected housemates

As a method to raise funds, of course it won't "work." As a method to earn public consent for broad based income taxes rises, though...

I understand why the wonkier among us despise the very concept of a wealth tax but lads I have to be real here this is one of those policies that may have to be implemented simply to signal virtue.

I’m subtitling the section of my next book that’s about the conversion of the Danes ‘Bluetooth-enabled’, just to test if my publisher has the will and resolve to stop me. If not, then the gloves will come off and my puns will be totally out of control from now on

hayfever has absolutely destroyed my brain and I'm nearly 3,000 words into a newsletter entirely about sandwiches which includes a needlessly long and detailed recipe for my favourite sandwich, love 2 lose my mind (youngvulgarian.substack.com, will come out on Friday, unfortunately)

THE ADULT BABY TAKEOVER IS BACK ON

The Wikipedia graphic version of the Columbian Exchange is somehow hilarious. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbi...

“Are they a proud people?” - my wife, just now, about Juggalos

heard a guy say "you have to access it through the portal" and i was momentarily struck by how sad it is that what he said is so boring :( "accessing it via the portal" should be wonderful. we deserve that at least. it should be cool to access it via the portal and instead it sucks shit

will forever remember a very clever and kind and, crucially, normal friend going to work for the Labour party some years ago because he wanted to help then quitting like a year in and going "what the everliving fuck was that I never want to be near the Labour party ever again"