compote recipe for this cheesecake courtesy of @nigella.bsky.social, please ignore my very not neat application ty

speedo moment happening rn on Evil Under the Sun on BBC2, heads up 👀

there is a plastic bag sitting on my neighbour’s bay window, more on this as we have it

OK, actually there are specifically two trains running in the whole of the UK today. One is going between Heathrow Central and Heathrow T5, and one is going between Heathrow Central and Heathrow T4.

Happy 20 Years since Jackie Tyler was nearly killed by a Christmas Tree.

if this movie had Frank Sinatra instead of Bing Crosby it would’ve been beautiful to have this come up rn

Season’s Breedings

yes

Turns out I got my wife the wrong Dyson Air-Thing. Anyone want it? Serious offers only. Must bring own van and electrician.

very merry christmas to the 4,500 odd people choosing today to file their taxes 🤩🤩

Obligatory Christmas Day visit to the tiny horse sensation and Wimbledon celebrity, Mr Fudge

Hello, my name is Tiny Tim, you employed my father, prepare to die.

good morning

a tasteful one before bed is okay right

maturity is realising Rose’s outfits on the left are easily 10x better than Esther srry

advancing my bath technology from bath bombs to bath drone strikes

it's Christmas EVE, not Christmas Margo

"10:30 A.M. Send another overdue notice to the impish man who checked out 'Tom Sawyer' months ago and listed last known address as 'Heaven.' Men like this are why I’m a single spinster."

Best lyric in any song ever

i have survived tesco. pic unrelated

Someone's had a nightmare here 😂

what could this actually be?

Simply Having A wonderful

how many days until christmas are you!

exciting xmas eve discovery: the dishwasher had for about 15 years wasn’t set up properly for the soft water here until rn 🤩

...and to Tiny Tim, who will NEVER die. He bows to the fiddlers and sashays backwards and throws back his head and laughs deep in his throat and he is a great favorite, Tim. He wafts his cap as he pirouettes under the lamps and hangs his little crutch upon the wall. He says that he will never die.

do you have any more of this dom perignon bubble bath

okay who leaked my wikipedia page

:((

displaying bloomfies cards in the most awkward way possible, as is tradition (it collapsed right after i took this)

because you aren’t seeing this image reposted enough today x

I can't believe it's not

seeing the price of Lurpak these days:

Somehow, Rishi Sunak's government returned...

the way the footage of the sinkhole taking its first victim feels like watching a disaster movie

this 16 minute bbc report on how christmas is always shit is 😭😭 www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3dU...

how many days until christmas are you

Prove your loyalty to The Bards' College by yeeting your nipples

using this old clip of me testing this weird voice light that didn’t need wifi to work lmao

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

The Telegraph here advocating an surprisingly aggressive response to unwanted Christmas gifts.

9 days left for this to come true btw

if i’d had more time i would’ve taken a photo of each of these ‘eco friendly’ christmas trees and done a thread ranking from worst to best alas, here are them all in the one pic!

new year’s resolution is to reduce my usage of the 🙂‍↕️ emoji (this will never happen)

john goodman in 1997:

I don't want gen AI in my browser I don't want gen AI in my pc I don't want gen AI in my art I don't want gen AI in my games I don't want gen AI in my music I don't want gen AI in my movies I don't want gen AI in my books I don't want gen AI in my cart I don't want gen AI in my life

Charlie Simpson in 2005