Installed some blackout curtains in the bedroom.

Crazy that it’s 2026 and they still haven’t invented a job that doesn’t make you want to end it all

So you’re supposed to make a model of you & your partner holding hands but the boy and I opted for this gesture instead. One of the fingers didn’t turn out because of an air pocket but we’re gonna pick up some modeling clay to fix it lmao.

Watch this space.

😭

Anyone have any massage gun recs?

before midnight // after midnight

She made chilaquiles from Grimes’ nachos tbh.

I’m glad these two are gay in every lifetime.

He put his whole Patricussy into this one.

Happy NYEE to DJ Sabrina The Teenage DJ specifically

Letting the zinc on an empty stomach speak in the monthly all manager morning meeting. 🤩

Let’s get you milked, homie!

I think being in Florida for Christmas has warped my sense of time. It fully does not feel later than December 22nd and I’ve got no idea how I’m going to fix that.

Really makes you think.

me omw to another shift at the skinny bitch factory

Wait I missed a bicep prompt? ಠ╭╮ಠ

I thought I was hungry enough to eat two egg rolls with dinner. While they technically did fit in my stomach I am now paying the iron price (gurgles).

Twunkhood really is a spectrum.

Are we doing these again

OOO activated, jingle mode engaged.

I finally hit a big milestone with my retirement savings account that I had been gunning for for a while now. :’) As someone who lived paycheck to paycheck for most of my 20s, I didn’t think I’d ever have a savings. it’s wild how much my life improved after getting laid off from my bartending gig.

Need a Wuthering Heights adaptation where everyone other than Nelly is a muppet.

Are you good at wrapping presents or are you a top?

idk I just kinda assume anyone driving a cyber truck is a fascist.

The gift I brought to the white elephant party was stolen THIRCE so I’m basically invincible rn.

Happy holestice.

This song is literally the only time it’s okay to separate the art from the artist.

Replay Chicago, your dig dug machine is bad and you should feel bad.

Chicago oomfs: when going out, is it a “sluts don’t get cold wear whatever if it’s cute” vibe or is it more like a “wear properly warm clothing what the fuck is wrong with you” kind of vibe?

Louder for the people in the back!!

The exchange was a rousing success, lads.

I mean, it’s one banana, Michael.

Took this during last night’s weekly game night bc my shoulders were looking crazy big and the ladies did NOT care. 😤

Me from tomorrow for the next two weeks🎉 #art

Spent part of my morning calling the cops in Nebraska because a guy threatened to hang himself when he couldn’t withdraw money from his retirement account.

Frottage cheese.

Welcome to the stage, Miss Now!

Kink bar crawl down in Chicago this Friday? Don’t mind if I do.

Local strip club for sale on Facebook Marketplace. You really can buy anything online

No 💕

It is ENTIRELY too early for me to be yearning for spring. 😩

Somebody needs to get my man a monocle ASAP.

🗣️ HANDS UP TO THE SKY, I’LL BE YOUR GALAXY 🗣️

I need the diva refilling his water glass in the gay bar men’s room sink to want more for himself.

Watch your fucking tone??

Make some noise Vegas

update: spent an hour on hold, got connected with a rep that couldn't find direct notification that my interest had been reactivated, realized the futility of getting anything changed, thanked her for her time, and re-set up IDR payments. I'll just pay them off in full when I get ahead on finances.