it’s time

pumpkin ice cream season and yet not a single one on the shelves, i may in fact stage a riot

did bloomf unfollow me or did i simply forget to follow bloomf

how many tops are tops, and how many tops are just gay with IBS

i’m not a picky eater in the sense that i live all kinds of food and have very few icks, but i am a picky eater in the sense that i will judge what brand of salt you use and whether you start shrimp in a cold or hot pan

friday plans on lock

You always have 4 alive grandparents when you start a new job.

god grant me the confidence of howard lutnick on national television when faced with a question he doesn’t know the answer to

me waking up to my second work alarm yet again

rfk jr: “no more polio vaccines for italians!” call that generation the Iron Hungs

pete hegseth setting up dates with a woman named Skylar on Hinge, a dating app:

alright i’ll just say it: what is an arch manning

Hairy butt pilled

$350/month for a large studio with a full kitchen, a sun porch, and all utilities included my last apartment, in contrast, was almost 10x this for a small 1br

aging? again?? how could i let this happen 😵‍💫

twink throwbacks? twink death.

lorde grant me the confidence of straight men who truly think just having a beard makes them a jason kelce doppelgänger

you're telling me a ginger bred this cookie?

i will truly never understand this one

still true 😪

how did the united states accidentally acquire the world’s biggest population of evil south african billionaires, what was that about

“thong thursday” this, “fcf” that, “humpday” three days a week, this app is an applebee’s daily special of thirst traps

men with thick fuzzy happy trails might be my final boss, and reader, i plan to lose that battle

when i said it would take an earthquake to remake san francisco housing i was talking about a POLITICAL earthquake, not this 🥺

save me mustached himbo. save me. (it’s snowing in idaho and i haven’t ****** in 84 years)

if MyFitnessPal asks me to track my meals ONE MORE TIME today i might lose it

i followed ONE straight guy and now my WHOLE feed is straight manga tiddies 😤

for sale: walkies, never trodden

you mean to tell me there’s TWO OF THEM???

I love this era of bluesky. twitter gays stumbling around looking for each other. comical and beautiful. like something David Attenborough would narrate with circus music playing in the background

this is ollie playing his second-favorite game

hey sluts, i’m back (derogatory)