“Hey! I’m in your city!” Okay! and I’m in debt! So?!

Ope

idk rub my stomach and tell me im not completely unfortunate looking

Cowboy People Good, City People Bad.

Referring to all Taylor Sheridan shows as “Them Wrinkly White People”

his spiritual foil

I told y’all

Textbook!

Fat Cock Good Friday

Two snaps for this proclamation!

Check on your himbo bloomfs this morning they’re being ostracized.

Why am I being attacked this early?

The bigger the muscles, the greater the mental illness

What could this possibly mean? So mysterious.

"Hey so, I've tried to be nice-- but I do not like you"

The first is when they say “I don’t like you.”

🎶 All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a butthole 🎶

Not to be dramatic, but I would trade my left tit for a lifetime supply of these baddies

April comma First.

Jack. You are an adult. Eat another fiber gummy if you want to. My god.

The way I can feel this coming deep in my bones like it’s a hurricane or something

POV reading through all the 30somethings on my TL

I am the first person in the history of time to age and get old - and what I’m experiencing is extremely unique and never been felt before!!!

What if the afterlife really is just watching from above as all your living relatives jerk it

You never know what battle someone else is quietly fighting (me holding in a fart during a meeting)

Trying so hard to be @thejacko.bsky.social

If you grab both my tits and close your eyes you can see how you’ll die

I made sticky banana bread and brought it to work so that my coworkers know I have other talents and job prospects and to not take me for granted because I will leave and storm out of here at the slightest of inconveniences

The Ring (2002)

I wish you (were in a) well

Okay but what the fuck was this

You ever meet someone and be like oh I just KNOW your car has bumper stickers on it

stay tuned for your morning brief-ing

So I don’t understand. If AI is so smart then why can’t it solve its own problem of using too much electricity and water?

It’s March 29th

If you prefer Unwritten over These Words, go get your head checked!

I come here to have fun and then someone disrespects me…are there no safe spaces?!?!

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Slomosexual

Happy Saturday! Most of us are now officially older (some by a lot…) than all the grown-up characters in Now and Then 🙂🙃🙂🫠

Me: omg I would be the best dj. Friend: what?? You don’t like staying out past 7. Me: I could do like…sock hops at retirement homes or something.

🚔

Sorry. Can’t. Too busy being a capital F A G

I am the very model of a modern major-general

::Madonna Vogue voice:: What’re you lookin at??