Why did I instantly imagine someone using this in a horror movie to graft shit onto a victim's skeleton?

I'd give it five minutes. I've just cut the half time orange.

Tough crowd.

I wonder how many of those general are nodding along with Hegseth saying "We need to just kill people. Rules of engagement are for pussies" and Trump's "We need to fight the enemy within" and how many are thinking that this is how coups start in other countries.

Avez-vous déjà vu... un tardigrade faire le tour de sa petite planète de cellules d'algue Volvox ? Maintenant oui 😊 Cette vidéo a été classée 4ème au concours de microphotographie Nikon Small World 2025. www.nikonsmallworld.com/galleries/20... cc @eloscicomm.bsky.social 😉

My new novel, The Heist Of Hollow London, is published TODAY. The hardback may not be out in the UK yet - it's listed for the end of October here - but the ebook is certainly available now. Here are some links but please feel free to buy wherever you can find it: amzn.to/3IOGJRw

Jack Whitehall on podcasts a week after the Riyadh comedy festival.

That excellent David Cross statement reminded me that he played Amnesty's 2012 Secret Policeman's Ball. So did Jimmy Carr and Jack Whitehall. I wonder if anything from either of their sets will feature at their Riyadh festival gigs?

David Cross folks.

This is very much a niche moan but I have I think one program on my Arch Linux PC that relies on Haskell packages. I run it very rarely, but every single time I do a system update all the Haskell packages seem to need updating. What is going ON over at Haskell HQ? Is everything ok?

Oh no, this could ruin the artistic integrity of games from *checks notes* EA

Surprised and pleased to hear Say She She's C'est Si Bon on the Tesco in-store playlist.

So does this mean US films that are partly or entirely filmed out side the US, or just foreign films in general? Because only the latter would be subject to an import tariff, right?

This look deranged but A) so is Nina Conti and B) she directed this and is in the monkey suit so it should also be great www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gcg2...

I think Labour need to call out racism BUT I do think there is something to the idea of calling particular *actions* or *beliefs* racist rather than saying that an individual IS a racist. You need to give people psychological space to separate themself from their opinions if you want them to change.

EARTH MUST DIE Featuring a load of my favourite comedians - too many even to fit on the trailer! Joel Fry! Martha Howe-Douglas! @alexhorne.bsky.social! Tamsin Grieg! @5teviem.bsky.social @mrholness.bsky.social! @misterabk.bsky.social! @rosieisaholt.bsky.social! MORE Please RETWEET and WISHLIST

“My wife went to Riyadh to see an edgy comedian” “Jimmy Carr?” “No, she went of her own accord”

Audience member at Jimmy Carr's Riyadh gig: GAY! Carr: Ha-haaaar! I do enjoy a heckler. Sir, I believe I've fucked your mu... Audience member: No, I mean I suspect there is a homosexual in the auditorium. Arrest them immediately and put them on trial for their life! Carr: Ha-haaaar!

"But doctor, can't we get him into a medbed?" "Goddamit, this kid has taken *Tylenol*! Not even a medbed can save him from the autisms"

Crowdwork Comedian at the Riyadh Comedy Festival. So…are you two a couple? Do not talk to my wife. Heyyyy…no problem. What do you do for a living sir? Oil. What about you sir, what do you do? I murder journalists.

Did you feed the mice like I asked?? Sure thing boss...

So much immigration rhetoric in this country is based on the idea that we, alone, and unlike all other PROPERLY RUN countries have a problem with our borders and take more immigrants than the rest of Europe combined

We need to fight the rise of fascism just like we did in WWII - by making a frowny face, tutting, and telling the Nazis that their concentration camp budget numbers look a little unrealistic

I have a dim memory of Stewart Lee & @herring1967.bsky.social , probably on TMWRNJ, singing a daytime TV theme where all the lyrics were, "Ross King" so if anyone has a clip of that, that would be great thanks

When Fabians are in distress they extend both arms, bend them at the elbow and inquire, "WHO WILL SAVE TONY BENN'S SON?"

not true

I can't remember who I was chatting to about this but the St Vincent BBC Prom was apparently on BBC4 last night and will be available on iPlayer for 11 months www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

Quite sad about this

Nobody: Middle aged white men from the Home Counties who’ve been into central London once in the last decade:

The mood among DoD/DoW staff is tense, with many questioning in private why the meeting is being held in a giant airship, hovering over an active volcano

So, top bunk?

Arrested Development But It Might Work For Us meme

Who's that walkin' down the street? Flayed flesh, white as a sheet? Got a mate with chattery teeth? It's Pinhead. Oh shit. -- Clive Dunn's Hellraiser

I remember the Dino Dippers of my childhood And the alcopops hid from our mum When a RAZR was something you phoned with And it said Juicy Couture on your bum

Richard, I'm worried "The spotlight of the disinfectant of sunshine" isn't a mixed enough metaphor. How about, "Aim a knowledge dart right at the cue ball of medical opinion and the issue will be disinfected like dominos. Checkmate."?

Has there ever been a snack food with a worse effort:reward ratio than unshelled sunflower seeds? It's like having a part-time job that doesn't even pay peanuts

Male friend: ‘Why do I have to do it, why can’t you download the file to your laptop and send it to them?’ Me: ‘I’m not Gary McKinnon’

Big Thief's 'Incomprehensible' is The National's 'Blood Buzz Ohio (Good Version)' *change-my-mind.jpg*

If you're not entitled to a free flu shot, you can get one privately from Asda for 60p(!!) as part of a promotional offer if you book online and can go before September ends. Here's the link: asda.cxmflow.com/OABS/Appoint...

These are wonderful and well worth your time

In America, can you ONLY but acetaminophen in the form of Tylenol or is it available as generic paracetamol, over the counter, like it is in the UK?

It's instructive that a sizeable proportion of the ruling class in the UK appear to be looking at America and saying, "Ohh I'll have some of that."

Believe trans people when we tell you the 'science' behind the Cass Report is as solid as the 'science' behind paracetamol causing autism.

(The Rapture comes, the Faithful rise up to Heaven, blotting out the sun with their blissful forms while on Earth the Left Behind descend into chaos and violence) BBC headline: Reform UK unveil new policy to round up legal immigrants with giant butterfly nets in five-hour Farage speech

Did I miss a bit in the trailer or is there no evidence at all that Pedro Pascal is even in The Mandalorian And Grogu?

For the avoidance of doubt and to underline how crackers this is, the drug that RFK Jr & Trump are saying causes autism is fucking paracetamol

I love how Chris Mason's picture on his Wikipedia page looks like he's watching an illegal cockfight in a barn in Essex. Horrified, but slightly aroused and unable to stop looking.