What?

One of the few videos to which the Tom Holland Umbrella Rule of internet law also applies

My T-shirt is raising many questions already answered by my three t-shirts.

goddammit

"Hi, I'm Mr. Beast and I am offering one hundred thousand dollars to anyone who will spend just ONE HOUR... with me. I'm so alone."

Not changing my screen name for Halloween because one year I changed it to C-PUmpKins, which is VERY funny and clever, but you were all filthy minded about it.

Got a banger post lined up for the 5th anniversary of TFTQ funding next week. Just hope Frazer doesn’t fulfil between now and then and spoil it.

Good morning! Its a whole new week! What better way to start the week than by playing the game described as "I became genuinely worried how much I wanted to strangle the horse" and "is there even a horse in this?" i will strangle a horse A game. By me. brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...

The person behind this has been insisting that AI is going to do something revolutionary "in the next six months" for years now. Here she is in May 2024 saying it'll only be months before AI comes up with a hit format like The Traitors. WARNING: also contains weary quotes from me in my day job.

Tried to change a plug once. Shocked when I discovered I don't know how to do it.

[30 seconds pass] “We regret to inform you that the AI is a racist pornstar now.”

Sure, sure. I agree. But also can we point out again that it is mad to be doing ANY sort of campaigning four years out from the next election when you could, y’know, be doing the fucking job?

Hi it’s me, the cow from Cow Tools. AMA.

I cannot believe there is laundry to hang. I am so tired. This is an outrage.

I don’t care if you’re a business owner, a greeter, a senator, or a president. By 79 you ought to be retired and living your best life/in jail as appropriate.

🎶 got my first real six string Bought it at the five and dime Learned about magic beds, Deleted by…

Tutor: “it’s important to consider how we present ourselves as therapists…” Me (proudly): “that’s why I knit myself this sweet cardigan!” Tutor (cautiously): “yes. And don’t get me wrong, that is lovely, but…” Me: “oh man are you gonna be one of those ‘trousers aren’t really optional’ nerds?”

Crossword clue: “knitter’s stash”. Haven’t a clue.

Tombliboos got raptured.

Oh, are you up for that, Sir Keir. Are you mad for it, mate. Up for a few cheeky deportations, are you.

And are the multiple talent agents in the room with us now?

How cool and not sinister.

Et in Trampolinica Ego

Palpable sense of shock here as it’s revealed Matthew Syed gets paid for this stuff.

True, but I am glad that the word has been allowed out of containment. Good first step.

Trying to get money back off a monster who kills people in their sleep is called the Dunning-Kruger effect.

First sunglasses, now this. If this man isn’t stopped he’ll find a way to make a white tee and blue jeans uncool.

Team Cherry: “oh you thought it took US a long time to finish Silksong?”

Bet you can’t guess where Tilly and I are.

Lot of the merchandise is Duff tho.

I heard prices are SLASHed at this store.

“Populism is the blowback against the exercise of the cultural power of this professional managerial class (PMC).” PARKLIFE

“But her emails.” - James Comey

r/autism[general support] thread: “could this be autism?” me: “yes. Yes it could be. Or it could not be. See a fucking doctor.”

They’re gonna be selling that building off brick by brick when he decides he wants something bigger and more gilded.

Two men enter. One man’s brie.

Out today.

Obama is a very good example of someone who has had a clear and admirable journey on subjects like autism where he's clearly spoken to people, looked at the evidence and considered it carefully and changed his position. He did the same on equal marriage and I respect him so much for that

“BritCard?”

The 2019 oneshot Moonframe by me, @lucaspeverillart.bsky.social and @dchopkins.bsky.social is coming out in Italian from Spaghetti Publishing! A story of space-horror, romance and giant slabs of brain, it's still one of my most popular comics. Exciting times. www.instagram.com/p/DPBIvNbDtY...

Yeah I also don’t need to know anything about that.

Assuming this is just a template reaction to every single announcement now. New hospital built in Swindon. Factory opens in Halifax. Parkinson's cure found in Cambridge. Pothole work on the A42.

Every so often I have need to go into the old old archives, and usually that means I'll find files belonging to people who outgrew the need for CPUK. They got big enough that they don't need me anymore. I miss several of them, but that's how I know it's been a worthwhile career.

And you just know Reform are going to call this out as authoritarian and they’ll be correct and kick Starmer’s head in more

TOMB OF THE PALE HORSE, my 4-part cosmic horror series w/ @benjaminaefilby.bsky.social is less than 1k away from hitting our second stretch goal! 330 backers strong. 5 days remaining. If I have one birthday wish, it's that you share the campaign far & wide. (backing is optional 🙏)

I think my wife is the most attractive person who ever lived. I consider every moment of my life not spent jumping her bones wasted. I will never be even one millionth as into her as the labour right are into ID card schemes that are equally unworkable and sinister.

I’m sorry “BritCards”? Are these for quiet bat-people?

The gag here for me would be to say “bleeds”. But actually I couldn’t talk for three hours about bleeds BECAUSE IT IS A VERY SIMPLE CONCEPT.

Just had a horrible vision in which after PM Farage falls the Reform government try to save themselves by admitting to membership the king across the water he’d always kept out and so we get Boris Johnson back in charge.

The books are here! @comicprintinguk.bsky.social has done a sterling job again. Now to get the mailers and start shipping!