Introduce yourself with 5 facts: 1. Snails 2. Twine 3. Hats 4. Crushing despair 5. Grout

So I can mince if I’m straight?

bluecheck post on twitter: I’ve been drinking my own urine for 32 weeks and I’ve been amazed at how its impacted my stock portfolio S̲h̲o̲w̲ ̲m̲o̲r̲e̲ blueckeck post on bluesky: say what you will but at least Hitler had a heckin doggo unlike taco donny drumpf who hates pupperinos

The correct pronunciation of proto-meme rhymes with Ptolemy I don’t make the rules

Can’t be comfortable to hold your head like that, son

Wagwarn

SHAFT!

The REAL origin of that childish 'six-seven' phrase. It was all Hawtrey's doing!

Found this when tidying the loft. Forgot I had it. Can’t recall actually reading it though. I will correct that.

“The ants are back, Ted”

It’s all happening, peeps. 2026 will be MY year 🚀

holy fuck it’s real

It’s the 6 year anniversary of psycho cat really living up to her name.

oh no apple music no no no

I have just heard the new Morrissey single

oh fuck it, free to read www.patreon.com/posts/alrigh...

Goodnight, sweet prince

Check this Fucking Cool Falcon #FCF

Explaining that it was normal in school to have a piece of chalk or a duster launched at your head if you weren’t paying attention/mucking about And then having to explain why a teacher might have those things to hand

David’s birthday?

Edinburgh has this gem:

Listen, if Tesco can defeat Denmark, I don't think they stand much of a chance against the US Good luck, Legofuckers

A buttress is a female butt

Guy from Tesco in your kitchen: here comes the aeroplane, open wide!

When you do a good journalism

No new pictures where are you mentally

Mark your diaries, people. We eatin’ ass next week

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but we have the best parties in Glasgow.

Who’s who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter. Featuring illustrations by Grok, because “pixels 🟰 zero harm” apparently. www.ft.com/content/ad94...

I’ve just issued a joint statement on Greenland I’d give it five minutes if I were you

I don't know which one of you cunts recommended The Holdovers, but thanks. Great watch.

My friends in Austria sent this and I can't stop watching...wait for the end. 🤗💜

So many questions. #billingham #teesside

🎄😒🚮

We continue

Yeah but once the cameras are off...

yer da is on facebook pleading “free us mr president, come rid us of starmer, reeves, and khan”

STATEMENT: “I would also like to confirm that I, Bluesky user @juux.com, was also not involved in any way in this operation”

This prick tho

We're going to need a bigger Hague.

Uh this doesn’t feel very…groovy

Bit early in the year for an illegal war isn’t it?

“I’m a developer for a major food delivery app. The 'Priority Fee' and 'Driver Benefit Fee' go 100% to the company. The driver sees $0 of it.” www.reddit.com/r/confession...

HOST: what did you bring Method Man? METHOD MAN: the pain HOST: how about you Anthrax? ANTHRAX: the noise HOST: Wu-Tang clan? WU-TANG CLAN: we brought da ruckus HOST: and you? ME: *throws green bean casserole into the trash* nothing sorry