Potato penis?

King shit (gender-neutral).

“Put your phone away and have a proper piss”

The crossover we didn’t know we needed

safe from mansion tax

"A French Fry Restaurant"

Tesco Club Card ...but it guarantees that you don't see anyone you vaguely know while you're shopping

My last 3 brain cells

Is Dream Phone Conscious? Many users feel they're talking to a real person. Dumb fucks say it's time to consider whether they're onto something x

mfers in the summer when it's cloudy mfers in the winter when it's sunny

How the mighty have fallen

OH: who called it gender-affirming care and not getting transfixed

coworker: hey are you going to the all-hands meeting? me: (has feet for feet) no i'm not allowed to

Vaccines don’t cause autism Rappers do Pass it on

Welcome to Felch

Imagine having this on your Wikipedia page

The three genders

Me as a Bluesky therapist

My child when hes dropped a huge fart next to me in the Tescos queue:

When you fail to make them laugh but they still have a nice life

Did somebody say topical beveragino?

If you see this, quite post with the energy you bring to bluesky:

I believe they prefer to be called Americans

Change one letter and ruin a chocolate bar Milky Waz

Nice

International Mens Day

When I arrive at the party

Depressed 19th November Santa

Twitter and chat gpt are down. Bad day for people who suck.

Kier Starmer unveils his new “hotter wetter mouth” in an effort to win back voters

Just listened to a girl I kissed on the lips at university being interviewed by Lauren Laverne

"I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle."

Seen Jesus driving like a prick

Terminator starts promisingly, being about two naked men on a quest for some trousers, but then goes off in a different direction that isn't as interesting.

Your boyfriend addresses the hive mind

Great to see this is happening. Just in time for the 2026 Pat Noodle calendar.

She’s going to get all of you.

Every office has an executive tier whose emails are like: saw on news , , can we replce complianc dept with web 3 and a worker tier whose emails are like: Dear Jim, First of all, I *love* this idea! Unfortunately, I spoke with Legal and identified a few issues with this approach. For starters…

...is there a lord marmalade?

A brief recap of the Epstein emails

Jeffrey Epstein every time he sent an email.

Posted without context

These are the various Coca Cola trucks that the slop machine came out with for their Christmas advert