Autumn equinox indeed

My son, a patriot, was sent home from school last week by woke teachers for painting this. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 😡🇬🇧

If anyone asks if I fancy coming into the office

Monday

Absolutely beautiful

what we actually need to start doing is laughing in the face of anyone who introduces themself as ‘Lord’ anything

[job interview] Interviewer: It says here that you are a blowfish. Would you care to expand?

If you swap Donald Trump's eyes and mouth around, something very interesting starts to happen

My latest old man yells at cloud problem is everyone calling restaurants 'food spots'

What would the protocol be if Trump tries to eat the King's sausage fingers by mistake?

The mince pies are out in big Sainsbury’s

Ray Luzier of Korn performing “Blind” with the Seattle Seahawks marching band (2024)

Hat tip @clownf1st.bsky.social

Forgot to add ‘fuck’ to exclude AI results and this is the response to ‘where to take an elderly person in Knightsbridge’.

me when you get your acoustic guitar out at a party I was up to that point enjoying

How do you answer your phone?

The greatest minds in history are on the case

We should honour this guys wishes by talking more about Trump being on the Epstein list.

You were only supposed to graze the bloody lughole off

Me watching a ford focus going past on the back of a low loader with a big NONCE spray painted down the side earlier

My daughter wanted to choose a t-shirt for me to wear today and she chose my Chatabix one, which resulted in me getting a crunch crunch from another dad at the school gate, if you know what I'm saying

Who called it fighting talk not aggrocultural language

guy who thinks every cloud looks like sean penn and makes everyone look

Your AI boyfriend stores his pee in the fridge

Nadine Dorries' favourite spoon bender is Yuri Gagarin

i constantly think about this post

Why does this tweet feel like it’s crying?

Me reading your posts

Zack Polanski seems cool and all but when are we going to get a Green party leader who is actually green?

Replacing Dale Winton on Hole in the Wall with Anton Du Beke.

RIP big Ron. You would have hated UK age verification law.

The Aussie press not holding back when it comes to its coverage of neo-Nazis.

Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?

I've been thinking about places like this (and that one infamous Zillow house where you have to find the bathtub). Where each opened door just leads to an absolutely inane new location. Not quite "liminal space"... more like, "non-sequitecture"

You can put me on your little list of people that enjoyed The Ballad of Wallis Island. Lovely stuff.

Trumpe defuncte