another doja tweet has hit endor

she is just the best at this

I've just been made aware of r/ToastNames and Martin Experience might be the most toast name there's ever been

To focus on his brother’s return to the square

big fan of this model of the human body

"what will memes be like in the future" memes in the future:

Laughed at this image for 10 entire minutes

*wakes from coma* BBC Jorts Personality Of The Year

…is the answer “men in computer science”?

lol any way 💅

The podcast advert keeps telling me to search "zero with an x" but i'm not going to do that because zero is with a z

Wife: "How did you sleep?" Me: "Not great, got a lot on my mind" Me at 3.46am:

God when he was creating Wes Streeting's head

"It's shorter than that, Chris, it's brief."

Today’s Connections

Wes Streeting gets his car serviced at Halfords

Warning sign

Me when someone says a podcast is available to watch

Just seen your boyfriend walking around here with his top off

this is the exact way that wee girl barrelled into the room when her BBC correspondent dad was on air

just took 93yr mum to vote, she's registered blind. in a very loud voice she said, "some games tell you to press the space bar to continue, but you can press any key you like." a cheer went up from waiting voters

I'm very old man yells at clouds about how everyone seems to have agreed to call a place that sells food a "spot"

You ever think about how when Sean Bean receives post he’s addressed as Mr Bean. Kind of fucked up

When we say "eat the rich" we do not mean Bryan Johnson because we do not want to catch whatever is wrong with him

Somehow the founder of Superdry looks exactly like I imagined he would

“The chicken these these chose as not free f Range they were banged up like Julian Asarge”

"In the UK we called it 'Boss Cat' because we had a cat food brand called 'Top Cat' which, of course, was problematic for a publicly-funded BBC. However, it was lost on nobody that, whatever it was called, it was basically just Sergeant Bilko with cats, and that is what unites our countries today."

An 8 pack of snide Monster Munch has changed hands on the street whatsapp group this morning

Your boyfriend’s letterboxd describes the new blockbuster film about the singing paedophile as a ‘tour de force’?

The human circulatory system, before and after proper cable management.

A colleague didn’t recognise me in my glasses so I tried to joke “I’m Clark Kent” but accidentally declared “I’m Ken Clarke”

Banged up like julian asarge

This is one of things. Bigtime.

Pissed off scientist trying to run over a bug using his car: YOU FUCKER IM NAMING YOU FOR THIS AND IT WONT BE PRETTY

Please take a minute to look at the names of the animals at the Bristol Animal Rescue Centre www.bristolarc.org.uk/pets/

Busiest day of the year for this lad

It's my own fault for using ChatGPT as a search tool, but this really made me laugh. "...with an important nuance..." is sublime 🤌