Humanity’s finest minds coming together to make sure the seating on Cross Country Voyagers is the absolute worst in the universe

Do not like our Kärcher’s attitude - not one little bit

I feel like The Lighthouse Family could do with an edgy urban reboot. Maybe The Lighthouse Mandem or So Lighthouse Crew - summat like that.

Yeah that’s right, I eat my eggs out of a shot glass because I’m a mad rock n roll bastard and definitely not because I’ve not got a clue where the eggcups are.

gOiNg a biT fUcKiNg mEnTaL iN tHiS wEAthEr LAdS

Muzzle flash: Oui of nein?

STILL angry about the Catch-22 mini-series

How’s my little pal getting on? Murderously!

Rivers Cuomo is 100% the Gary Barlow of rock, isn’t he?

Few things in life are as satisfying as a Wu Tang member describing things as ‘lovely’

Some bullshit I have started on this arvo

My January has now reached religiously-watching-PMQ’s-every-week levels of procrastination

Every time I’ve bought new headphones I’ve spent the following week experiencing the most base and visceral loathing possible. Like proper actual *WHAT IS THIS SHIT* disgust that then magical gives way to *OMG HOW DID I EVER LOVE WITHOUT THESE* euphoria when my brain eventually recalibrates.

Think I’ve had enough new epochs this week thank you very much

Strong sticker here

Attempting to explain why Maglites were so cool to a twentysomething is a bit of an experience

Wah! I used to work on that pier and spent most of my adolescence smoking under it - wah! www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

If any American pals want to get ahead of the game then come see us as we’ve got all the good shit post-imperial decline chat to burn.

What if he annexes Davos?

RTC on Cardigan Rd 😬😬😬

RTC on Cardigan Rd 😬😬😬

Matter of time before some throbber decides to do the Otley Run dressed as an ICE agent innit?

I’ve always reckoned that the chances of the US being replaced as the global hegemon - in my lifetime - were about 50/50 (and I don’t mean that in a doomer this-is-the-end-of-everything sort of way. More in the kind of inevitable ebb-and-flow/time-and-tide sort of way). Now though? Not a chance.

Not to sound like an Insufferable Nostalgia Dad but Tony Hawks Pro Skater 1+2 on the Steam Deck is pretty much everything I wanted in life.

No, Instagram, it’s fine - I wasn’t halfway through reading that post that you suddenly yanked from my feed and then buried in the centre of the Earth…

Strongly suspect (and always have done) that my death will be the result of a very wanky/petty technicality

Why does my phone look like Windows Vista now waaaaaaaah

DID YOU KNOW: That no UK passenger ferry is allowed to put to sea without a Golden Axe coin-op being present onboard?

It’s bonkers to think that a decade ago, Gibson were pretty much the iconic rawwwk guitar company and now they are the preserve of boomer Blues Dentists. Every new band you see are either fully Fender offsets, Kramer/Jackson hockey sticks or bonkers Schtecter/BC Rich pointy lads.

Just noticed that James from Traitors sounds exactly like Robin from Here We Go #traitors

Maybe 46 is a little late to be realising that I internalised slacker culture perhaps a tad too enthusiastically

If I was President Maduro, I’d totally shorten my first name to ‘Nicky’ so I could do the 🎵Jason Derulo🎵 thing at the start of every song.

Right, let’s say you’re walking down a long road - a mile or so - and you need to eventually be on the other side.

Little Saltaire poster update for yers

Go home fortune cookie you are drunk

Got a new case for my steamy-dee and finally found an appropriate place for this rad @rogueprintco.bsky.social sticker I’ve been hoarding for yonks.

Frozen dog poo >>> Room temperature dog poo

There’s a thousand shawarma places in this city and not one of them is called ‘Kier Shawarma’ - a civic failure that reflects terribly on us all.

I bet there’s a massive fear in Whitehall about someone getting in Trump’s ear about Northern Ireland or Scottish independence. If Brexit looked a bit dicey for the Good Friday Agreement, Christ knows what the full MAGA treatment would entail.

LESSONS FROM 2026 (Week 1) Move faster than the courts. It’s this one simple trick that civilisation hates.

We’re all Greenland now, aren’t we

Continue to heed your signy pals in 2026

I wonder how many different groups in DC are spaffing their pants right now, thinking that the plan has finally worked as the chaos temporarily aligns with whatever batshit was on their wishlist before rolling on to a giddying array of even more outlandish outcomes?

Did not have yoinking presidents on my 2026 bingo card yet here we are

The bin lid at work sounds just like the gong at the start of Kool and the Gang’s Jungle Boogie

I would absolutely be up for this

***TRENDS FOR 2026***

If Jools Holland died during the filming of The Hootenanny, would they have to keep it secret and pretend he actually died on New Year’s Eve?

Reminder that Uncle-Dad has a real knack for taking photos of us that look like they’re from the promo bundle for some Channel5 poverty porn series.

Happy Tax Return Dread Day one and all