If you’re wondering how I’d look with a dueling scar

Feast on the particulars at www.emophilips.com

Happy National Cat Day

That Halloween I stopped Matthew Gray Gubler from terrorizing a tree

Happy National Pumpkin Day from my family to yours

I’ve seen @emophilips.bsky.social live a few times and he’s amazing. Still a master, hilarious and smart and weird in all the best ways. See him if you can!

Emo Philips: a true SICKO. @theonion.com @emophilips.bsky.social

Well, we're all doing that, for sure, on social media. My favorite tweet of all time was from @emophilips.bsky.social who said, "I like Twitter because it combines my two favorite forms of communication: texting, and throwing a note in a bottle out into the sea."

Had a blast yesterday at Riot Fest hanging out with some of my favorite artists. Thanks and much love to Sparks, Camper Van Beethoven, Mac Sabbath, Shonen Knife, Puddles Pity Party and Emo Philips for performing on the Weird World stage with me.

Delaware! I headline Arden Gild Hall this Saturday, 10/18! I am excited to return to where last year I opened for the hilarious Emo Philips and this year the also hilarious Samantha Ruddy will be opening for ME! If you are in the Delaware area (Delawarea?!), come on out! dice.fm/event/mxq8gv...

So is @emophilips.bsky.social , and everyone should know that, too! I mean seriously, if you have one you should have the other!

The “Emo Philips: Guaranteed No Cannibalism” Tour is celebrating the 12 days of Thanksgiving (I’m fairly sure that’s a thing) with shows in Ann Arbor, Cincinnati, Lexington, Nashville & Bloomington; feast on the particulars: emophilips.com

The sound quality is just as good as it was on the original Edison Disc

Thrilled that the outrageously original @emophilips.bsky.social is releasing his long-lost album “Emo” worldwide with Goat Song Records. Experience the playful, darkly absurd mind that @pattonoswalt.bsky.social called "the most brilliant joke-writer in the game". QR Code at the end of the reel.

Don't let anybody lie to you, this is the original Midwest Emo

I just learned Emo Philips is on blusky @emophilips.bsky.social

Blusies- @emophilips.bsky.social absolutely KILLED in Cleveland Sunday night! If you are lucky enough to have a show of his nearby see him.

now is the autumnal equinox of our discontent

Playfully attempting to distract “Weird Al” Yankovic as he dials 911

I’m ecstatic to be going on the road with one of my closest and funniest friends, real or imaginary: the perpetually ebullient Tim Cavanagh (represented here by the tiger); prowl for the particulars at www.emophilips.com

No man is poor who has a cameo in a comic book about a ventriloquist

Each & every show comes with my “no cannibalism” guarantee

LOOMING GIGS www.emophilips.com

Hello! For the purpose of preserving history, I am lobbying to get my website, www.emophilips.com, into the vintage website museum: www.webdesignmuseum.org/all-websites; any help at all in this crucial cultural endeavor would be deeply appreciated

Genuinely, Emo is one of my favourite stand-ups.

It went so wonderfully last night at the Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa that the owner wants me tonight as well, as originally planned.

As it’s not easy “getting out the word” about live performances these days, I humbly beseech you to join my email list, so that you need never fret about missing a nearby show of mine unintentionally. www.emophilips.com/shows/proxim...

What luck! I just so happen to be in Tulsa Thursday night and Oklahoma City Saturday night. So I get to see @emophilips.bsky.social twice!

Cleveland peeps, if you don’t know, well, you should.

Happy 4th of July (Orthodox)

It’s been so long since “Weird Al” & I filmed UHF that I hardly recognize us here. The joyous news is that I’ll be returning to Tulsa, where UHF was shot, to play the Bricktown Comedy Club on July 17 & 18. (I’ll be at the Bricktown in Oklahoma City on July 19, if you’re barred from the Tulsa one.)

Go see Emo if you can. By any means necessary.

One of the only comedians I've happily seen multiple times. Emo is good people.

Dear Flight Attendants, No eggnog? Just say so. No need for that look.

I’ve added a show in Cleveland to the none I had before: hilarities.com/shows/321767

Thank you, Casper! (Credit: Emily Kaye Wilson)

Just got home from watching two absolute legends — @emophilips.bsky.social and @pattonoswalt.bsky.social — at the Rialto theatre in Casper, Wy. Yes at the 6:30 show I don't do late nights. Both did an incredible set, and I didn't realize how much I needed to laugh like that. Thanks!

I have now played all fifty states!

Tonight’s show in Casper could not be more momentous for @pattonoswalt & me: after it’s over, he & I will have each played all 50 states. Will this be but a joyous personal milestone for us? Or will it usher in a new cosmic age? (Please don’t get sore if an apocalypse ensues.)

In ´22, I tweeted that I had played every state save Montana & Wyoming. @pattonoswalt.bsky.social responded that those were the only ones he’d yet to play. In ‘25, we had an inspiration. Bozeman: The Elm, May 15 Casper: The Rialto, May 16-17

Whatever your answer might be, it won't top this bit by @emophilips.bsky.social www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcLh...