Making America Groan Again 🇺🇸

those concerns about egg prices around the election seem awful quaint right about now

it’s a dead giveaway that the worst insult Trump can think to call a person is “brown”

this film absolutely cracked open my skull in a way no other had ever done. a work of singular genius.

gm tgif

Saw someone say that Stephen Miller is what happens when you bury a dildo in the Pet Sematary. 10/10 No notes.

was that Melania speech one of Iran’s demands

oh! I'm so bad at promotion--this book (that's not part of the series) just went up for preorder, if you know any young Swifties or ageless romantics... thanks in advance for spreading the word, cuz I'm terrible at it 🫶

Just delivered the 3rd of a 4-book deal to my publisher. Most days I feel like a fraud/failure but I'm taking this rare moment when I'm feeling pretty good to share the progress 😜

Interesting! I imagine she’ll fly with the Lost Boys at some point.

🚨 that exclamation mark in her name sure fits today's very cool news: P!nk is gonna host this year's Tony Awards 💫

This is disgusting and I hope the people who voted for this wind up in whatever hell they believe in.

me in calculus class

Hi! I’m the inventor of bathroom stalls. The important thing for me is that everyone walking by a stall is able to make eye contact with the person sitting on the toilet inside. This is a critical design feature.

Ghost crossing

I went and saw Project Hail Mary. A guy came in with his service dog and the dog sat there the whole time just concentrating on the movie. Afterwards I told the guy I was amazed your dog watched the movie like that. He replied, me too especially because he hated the book.

Gale Storm was also her drag name

America has the sexiest accents said no one ever

hang on—is there a maga angelyne??

Megyn losing her shit over Trump is the funniest thing I’ve seen today. Did she just wake up from a coma 🫥

at least tomorrow is friday

wanna feel old? “Just Dance” can now legally vote

Fuck off and have a great night!

"Giorgio Mordor" is my favorite typo of the day.

Please keep the Iranian people in your hearts

Me: Why does my cat bite me? Veterinarian: Because his paws are too tiny to choke you.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (dir. Steven Spielberg, 1977)

The Wicked Witch of the West: UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER DOROTHY!

Come on then, and remove him.

NEVER MIND

A WHOLE CIVILIZATION WILL DIE TONIGHT, NEVER TO BE BROUGHT BACK AGAIN. I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, BUT IT PROBABLY WILL

seems like a pretty ideal day for snake

first time seeing a photo of horror legend Robert Bloch & honestly, *chef kiss*

I'm not sure how you can be against removing this man from office right now. What will it take? A nuke being dropped? It's too late then. The purpose of impeachment and the 25th Amendment is to prevent that type of thing from happening, not just to react to it.

Imagine being a moderate Republican and getting outflanked on decency, morality, and basic humanity by these four nutters

me and who

well, that looks delicious.

the best churros in the city, at Molino, a spinoff of the legendary Pujol. gonna miss the extraordinary cuisine of Mexico City, it’s a marvel

Retuning from a week in Mexico City this AM and if it’s any consolation, know that EVERYONE here absolutely hates him

Me, joking: I can’t believe we chose “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally” Conservatives, dead serious: it was a tough choice, but I’m glad we picked “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally”

SAVAGE. And irrefutable.

RoBoCoP (1987)

Here it is. A cute owlet stretch I captured this afternoon. Feel free to set it to your own music, or just smile at it in silence :) 🪶 🐣

worshipping all the important saints here in Mexico City 🔥🕯️

Guacamole with chapulines (aka grasshoppers). Loved! Spicy, crunchy and chewy

Mexico City, I am inside you. Rosetta absolutely deserves those Michelin stars 🌟

…and Melania Trump as The Beaver

Christianity on the left, christian nationalism on the right.

Trump *and* Mel Gibson on the cover? What a week it was for pop-culture assholes

you put the zoo in kazoo