“Ken Barlow is not my father!” ~Gary Barlow #quote

“I do not look like an elderly lesbian!” ~Conan O’Brien #quote

‘Take Us To Your Biggest Pedophile’ Demand Surprisingly Politically Informed Aliens

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"Which Ewok likes cricket? Wicket." ~Warwick Davis #quote

Today the UK celebrates 250 years of independence from the tyranny of the United States of America. Imagine living in a society where the leader can repeatedly break the law and nobody stops them!

Which boxer had a hit with Just the Way You Are? Frank Bruno Mars.

Which super man wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey? Arthur C Clarke Kent.

Which transsexual jockey had a hit with Professional Widow? Frankie Dettori Amos.

Which transsexual Blondie singer went to Hogwarts? Debbie Harry Potter.

Would you like to see people who take themselves too seriously get taken down? I’m up for it. Who hasn’t had enough of politics and dummies who think they’re highbrow? Your average person on social media is an absolute tool. I think it needs highlighting. Let me know…

You can't tell me these aren't lizard people.

First time playing live in Lewes, supporting the mighty Ozrics no less. I saw the Ozrics play many a time in my formative years at Megadog raves, so to be playing alongside them all these years later feels like I’ve gone full circle. lovethyneighbourmusic.co.uk/event/ozric-...

”Who is the skinniest celebrity in Britain? Helen Skeleton.” Danny Dyer #quote

“Who is the most plastic, see-through celebrity in America? Susan Saranwrap.“ ~Scott Baio #quote

“What do you do when someone wants to become prime minister? Burnham.” ~Penelope Keith #quote

Which transsexual rock star starred in the 70s series The Good Life? Penelope Keith Richards.

Seals.

Forget the study — where can I get a hat like that

“Which London landmark is a big black penis? Trevor Nelson’s Column.” ~Zoe Ball #quote

Nice picture of Will Smith.

“I really do have the smelliest queefs. Everyone has to put up with the smell of rotten haggis, I don’t care.” ~Kemi Badenoch #quote.

Tomorrow - exclusive vinyl drop ✨ Limited signed blue vinyl + exclusive never heard before tracks + Field Notes zine documenting findings from the mission so far 📡 Exclusively on bandcamp, limited to 100. Subscribers automatically get tracks and zine sent to them 🩵

My release of the day: state of grace - lost minimal wave mixes by Swayzak and Kirsty Hawkshaw swayzak.bandcamp.com/album/state-...

Remember Gary Wilmot? I wondered f he had an account here. I found this. bsky.app/profile/nmmf...

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"Why were the Bastille Day celebrations so bad? It was a fête worse than death." ~Peter Dinklage #quote

“Who is the grizzliest celebrity? Dani Behr.” ~Ian H Watkins #quote

“I say, I say, I say… I’ve got an internet joke… Why was the router so encouraging? It was routing for me.” ~Liz Truss #quote

“Which historical figure grew from a tree? William the Conker.” ~Tom Jones #quote

“Who was the first feline singer? Cat Stevens.” ~Denise van Outen #quote

“I lover the smell of the gents public toilets. I feel so horny sitting in that cubicle.” ~Sonique #quote

Which trans-racial basketball player starred in Buffy the Vampire Slayer? LeBron James Marsters.

“What do we drink at CERN? Pina colliders.” ~Professor Brian Cox #quote

"Which singer consumes the most cigarettes? Smokey Robinson." ~Lorraine Kelly #quote

“It was my responsibility to put out the candles in the church. It was a blow job.” ~Cathy Dennis #quote

“Which tree presented The Generation Game and Play Your Cards Right? Spruce Forsyth.” ~Peter Duncan #quote

“Umbrella with built-in shower.” ~Excerpt from Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s notebook. #quote

“Who’s the poopiest actor? Brad Shitt.” ~Susan Boyle #quote

“Which communications oriented trans-human starred in Back to the Future? Michael J Fax.” ~Edwina Curry #quote

“Can anybody tell me if trooping the colour is anything like tipping the velvet?” ~Ellen DeGeneres #quote

@mredbyrne.bsky.social Have you ever put a pancake on your face, gone out in public, and pealed away your face, eating chunks of your skin?

“Which celebrity owns the most money on houses? Demi Mortgage.” ~Dave Benson Phillips #quote

“My vagina smells like marzipan and tastes like yoghurt.” ~Nerys Hughes #quote

the one and only emo philips! #art #digitalart #fanart #comedy

“Back when I’d use helium balloons to practice weightlessness in my parent’s back garden, I’d never have thought I’d be working with NASA one day.” ~Brian Cox #quote

“I was devastated when my dog died. Luckily he came back to life again because he is an imaginary dog.” ~Eartha Kitt #quote

“Sitcom idea: Bringing Home The Bacon. Each episode is about one of the village bikes on a Friday night getting ready to bring home the only straight man in the village Richard Bacon. Bacon gets seduced by a different slag each week entailing shenanigans.” ~From Richard Bacon’s diary #quote

New @fragilex13.bsky.social on #Bandcamp! fragilex.bandcamp.com/album/simula...

Thinking about crossing the pond to see Emo. If he let's me eat his fingernails, would that be cannibalism?