“Sitcom idea: Bringing Home The Bacon. Each episode is about one of the village bikes on a Friday night getting ready to bring home the only straight man in the village Richard Bacon. Bacon gets seduced by a different slag each week entailing shenanigans.” ~From Richard Bacon’s diary #quote

New @fragilex13.bsky.social on #Bandcamp! fragilex.bandcamp.com/album/simula...

Thinking about crossing the pond to see Emo. If he let's me eat his fingernails, would that be cannibalism?

@mredbyrne.bsky.social Have you ever snuck into a hospital and stolen the colostomy bags, and sold them as designer juice bottles to hipster establishments frequented by @daraobriain.bsky.social?

“I suppose I should be grateful for natural lube, but this anal fissure is also alarming. The other day I went through a whole pack of tampons.” ~Rylan Clark #quote

”What allows for exchange of substances between blood vessels and tissue, and also ran for president of the United States? Capillary Clinton.” ~David Schwimmer #quote

Who else is wearing a codpiece?

A continuation from a question I asked last week.. Do you prefer songs that feel familiar or slightly unsettling?

@mredbyrne.bsky.social Have you ever drugged @daraobriain.bsky.social’s gorilla?🦍

“My clitoris is very crispy today. At least it’s less pungent when it’s all dry.” ~Siân Lloyd #quote

A new theory explains the origin of the universe, circumventing the problem with quantum gravity. I've had a look. www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xt5...

#NowPlaying Oracles by @omunit.bsky.social. omunit.bandcamp.com/album/oracles Got this on #BandcampFriday. Check it out.

May the 4the of May be with you. 🖖

“If they asked for mushy peas, I’d open a can of normal peas, tip them down my gob, chew them up and then spit them out onto a plate, microwave et voila. Nobody knew I pre-chewed.” ~Susan Boyle #quote

@mredbyrne.bsky.social Have you ever snuck out one dastardly night, broken into an old people’s home, drugged them one by one, cut off their facial warts, then sold them to @daraobriain.bsky.social ? I’m studying the effect of pluripotent stem cells on nectrotic tissue, please count me in.

Here at #ChewToo, the used bubblegum business, we’re celebrating 4/20 in thanks to a generous gift from our patron @markhamillofficial.bsky.social. He’s donated 1000 herbal cigarettes and we’re giving them away to our customers. One per purchase, first come first served. #SecondHandIsNotSoBland

“My farts smell like gammon.” ~Pierce Brosnan #quote

“There’s a lot of talk about Tim Cook at the moment. Let’s not forget his travel agent brother Thomas Cook, another individual worthy of note.” ~Ashley Banjo #quote #Apple

In unusual twist, The Future Sound Of London's latest offering doesn't sound like a funeral. It's still shit and demonstrates they've lost their edge, but I don't want to kill myself. fsol.bandcamp.com/album/last-r...

“My farts smell minty.” ~Lionel Richie #quote

Nice picture of Cillian Murphy.

"Why does my earwax smell of cannabis?" ~Pat Sharp #quote

Which transsexual singer songwriter had a hit with Summertime Sadness, and also had a BBC series on bushcraft and survival techniques? Lana Del Ray Mears.

@mredbyrne.bsky.social Have you ever anonymously sent @daraobriain.bsky.social a used butt-plug?

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz354bs

Hungary is next door to Starvering.

Nice picture of Richard Herring.

Which transsexual singer and actor sang Get Your Freak On and starred as Trapper John McIntyre in M*A*S*H? Missy Elliott Gould

Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz354bs

“Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side!” ~Michael Fassbender #quote

@kari.bsky.social Happy Easter. May all your retro projects come to fruition.

“Which singer was the biggest slapper? Spank Sinatra.“ ~Judy Finnigan #quote

Which trans-racial lead guitarist for The Shadows had hits, including Let’s Get It On and What’s Going On? Hank Marvin Gaye.

Which transsexual golden girl is the acting leader of the department of justice? Todd Blanche Devereaux.

The Godfather of House's final recorded mix. Listen now🖤

Nice picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“Today I learned that a lollipop person is not only real, but actually a traffic coordinator that helps children cross the road. I’d envisioned a terrifying half human half confectionery cryptid that lurks in the shadows. How wrong I was.” ~Lenny Henry #quote

Nice picture of Lorraine Kelly.

“Which 1800s Dutch author was a massive sex pest? Hands Christian Andersen.” ~Bradley Walsh #quote

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz354bs

@mredbyrne.bsky.social Have you ever convinced @daraobriain.bsky.social to put on a choker that was secretly a shock collar and shocked him?

Nice picture of Mark Hamill.

Lewis Capaldi’s real name is Biscuits McFlapjack. I’m not making it up - you can tell by looking at him.

@markhamillofficial.bsky.social Used bubblegum is way better than the onion candy Ivanka Trump was forcing me to sell. #ChewToo #SecondhandIsNotSoBland TM

”What are the scariest sausages in October? Hallowieners.” ~Mary J Blige

Nice picture of David Walliams.

@mredbyrne.bsky.social Have you ever ordered pizza and had it delivered to a very surprised @daraobriain.bsky.social ?

Again, a huge thank you to @markhamillofficial.bsky.social for endorsing our used bubblegum business #ChewToo. We were thrilled with the rubber pants he wore when he visited our reclamation facility. #SecondhadIsNotSoBland TM