And yet they’ll all go right ahead and cheer for their “Christian” president “When the devil comes to America, he’ll be wearing the flag and holding a cross.”

Sounds like RFK’s autism “announcement” is tomorrow. Whatever I think it’ll be, I’m confident it will be worse

That tracks

Hell yeah, I still do this

mood

Every single outlet is covering this like it's a state funeral

The Narcissist's Prayer That didn't happen. if it did, it wasn't that bad. if it was, that's not a big deal. if it is, that's not my fault. if it was, I didn't mean it. if I did, you deserved it. <- we are here

And yet they’ll all go right ahead and cheer for their “Christian” president “When the devil comes to America, he’ll be wearing the flag and holding a cross.”

Hell yeah, I still do this

Every single outlet is covering this like it's a state funeral

This has been stuck in my head for a good two weeks solid, and I post it now in hopes that it will leap from me to you like The Ring.

Copycats

Making new friends in your 40s is really difficult, especially when you work remotely. School is the other place people make friends, and many people my age go to school but are seen as the old ones. Anyway, it is REALLY easy to make new friends in a psychiatric ward.

… what Just wait until this stuff gets paired with the AI waifus the incels are so into. You KNOW people are working on it

I have a bunch of broken LEGO from a move a while back and I got a wild hair yesterday and cannibalized them to make myself some flowers I ran out of the white decorative pebbles 🤣 I’m not happy with the blue gravel in the last one so I will prob just do them all white? Input? 🙌 Fun! Do recommend

“If you want to live in the future, you have to build it yourself”

I don’t know about you guys but I’m finding it harder to make political jokes these days

“We’re failing our nation’s young men” is great example of what I think of as “meme phrases.” They catch on in the pundit class to capture some nebulous concept of the moment but if you really parse it there’s no actual meaning How? Who? Me? Schools? Burger King? Also … are we? Are we tho?

I’m not an AI promoter so this knowledge will die with this thread, but I have seen ppl complain you can only use “hey siri” on iOS & that’s not true. You can create something like “hey ChatGPT” by making a shortcut to voice mode and turning on voice control in accessibility. ATPs know the tricks

A thousand dollars a day but you can only use public bathrooms and you can’t use the same one twice per week

This lone woman has been there for hours. It’s the whole story in miniature

lol how stupid

New streaming service name dropped Deep breath Disney+ Marvel with Star Wars and Hulu including ESPN+ plus ABC (featuring ABC package with ABC News and Family) plus FX with National Geographic and History Channel and Lifetime pack plus 20th Century Studios+ (Searchlight and Freeform bundle) plus-

Jimmy Kimmel over there laughing nervously and shaking like a cold chihuahua So like normal

Earlier today I read a thing about Pete Hegseth and for some reason I pictured him as a villain in Sunset Riders and it works. Now I need a full cabinet Sunset Riders please, someone tell the indie devs

You’re not “canceled,” you’re an asshole

When I was a kid a bunch of families had a chickenpox party and I was the nucleus child lol. I remember being very sleepy and irritated about it but in retrospect it’s kind of hilarious to be sick and your friends are forced to like touch you

If I was John Oliver I’d be running for the exit like this shit is Final Destination

Hooray it’s “everyone with an iPhone is subjected to Liquid Glass” day! Oh boy oh boy I better start searching for threads to gloat

When I was a kid a bunch of families had a chickenpox party and I was the nucleus child lol. I remember being very sleepy and irritated about it but in retrospect it’s kind of hilarious to be sick and your friends are forced to like touch you

If I was John Oliver I’d be running for the exit like this shit is Final Destination

Yo I talked to the robot in the Amazon app today and it was creepy as hell. I asked it about bedside tables because who wants to sort through 10,000 beside tables and it referenced SHIT I BOUGHT IN 2013 The age of AI is the age of our data being weaponized retroactively

Watching all these media conglomerates folding as fast as they can right now and it occurs to me that maybe the trope about Hollywood executives being stupid assholes is actually true

I’m eating otter pops in the rain

We are all so numb. RFK fucking up vaccines would be a good three month news cycle in Normal Times. Now I’m just like “yep” what’s next on the list

I’ve been coming back to this piece by @ftrain.bsky.social since the early days of COVID and I can’t possibly recommend it enough. “The future is concerned with itself. …They will be amused by our clocks and space cars, but what they will want to know is: How high did the water get, please?”

I see u MF don’t you dare

Bipolar thread go! Also here’s a photo of me

I just found a typo in something that got published four years ago and now I will never write again

You guys I have adulted SO HARD this week! I went to the DOCTOR and I went to the DENTIST and I got new PLANTS and fixed some LIGHTS and DRYWALL and cleaned out all my CLOSETS and I took care of a bunch of PAPERWORK and oh shit I’m hypomanic

There are a lot of tools to manage who you follow, but I couldn't find something that did what I wanted in terms of bulk managing posts and comments, so I made it. In this 🧵: • what this does (general) • what this does (nerds) • what this doesn't do yet but should (should I make a web interface?)

Omg you are SO CLOSE buddy

I used to vaguely like Bob Iger in a "better than that other dude" kind of way. Welp

And in case he's mistaken that he's mistaken that he's mistaken, also the recording.

When we tally up the greatest villains of our time, don't forget Andrew Wakefield. He has killed millions, some of whom aren't even dead yet

I haven’t read *any* news today. Like literally not for a single moment. Oh sweet blessed relief

My neighbor has a tortoise that just kinda cruises around their lawn and like … ok

I have two boxes of otter pops. Take a number, lovers

I’m sick of all these billionaires sharing their beach bodies. I want them to have a nice marbling so I don’t dry out the meat