turn me on with your electric squeal (56k modem sound)

every fast food ceo is being forced to actually eat their "product" for the first time

shhh, it's time to water the plants

gooner eclipse

having a guy out to see if i'm museum grade

this image was burned into the retinas of an unknown corpse that was found exsanguinated and emitting an unidentified type of radiation. the cause of death was drowning despite being discovered in the middle of the gobi desert, hundreds of miles from a water source

(British accent/Received Pronunciation) yes then hello, (papers drawn) it has come to our attention (bifocals on/clothes tweed) that he is Paul Wall: Champion of the People

emo bison

whenever i find myself at a location:

i learned betsy ross's full name from the dril wiki

insects who prefer warmer weather? why the fuck are you so sensitive all of a sudden. your entire body has like 2 nerves in it. you are shit

okay, white guy here,

used to be, every other windows version was bad. but now they're all gonna be bad from here on out. innovation!

he'll never be scrat

hit me with the through-scalp rat beam, im ready

the scary movies have always been bad. you just like them because of nostalgia

fact: the australopithecus was the first human species to ride with the top down

my sons, you must kill the shredder

🫵

richard nixon? you mean one of the early adopters of the digital watch?

only two years separates me from being gen x. but they are very important years! they're the only thing between me and Hose Mentality

call me when there's a grown-ass MAN kibble

living by the sword: hooray! yay! dying by the sword: must i yield my body to this wretched earth? the sun grows dark in my eyes. the lightless halls of the next world beckon. fuck me, dude

super mario grindset

morpheus: free your mind and your ass will follow neo: woah trinity: that's a funkadelic lyric. he's just quoting song lyrics now neo: woah

whoa, ass ahoy

what's the deal with book nooks. you're wasting space that could be filled with more book

was this award named by bill and ted

my youtube short algorithm recommendations: did your dad ever go to a hardware store growing up? only in the midwest! or someone talking on a podcast about which cartoons made them gay

i can't believe its not butter

my life a video game and i never got past the tutorial

shitting is a young man's game

normalize tellin the lads when they're being a bit naff

i love it when someone in a movie pulls out a gun and you hear, like, Stock Cocking Sound Effect Number 4#. you don't see them cocking it, just the sound. it's there so you know they mean business

matthew mcconaughey: they got these rabbits, right. these "labowbows." grin like a cheshire cat. they're from the shadows. but what is light without the dark? we need that darkness, my friend. we need a beanie baby that would cut down a man, burn away his future, sublimate his mark upon this earth,

everything's coming up shithouse

wouldn't it be cool for things to stop being so horrific for just a little while

two many surfaces on 3d objects. i wanna live in flatland

when paul wall said "i'm crawling similar to an ant," i felt that

this is what really happened #teachTheControversy

how's the requiem?

alan wake me up before you go go

time for the ol nose candy (generic brand afrin)

there's whistling on a track on the new gorillaz album. 2011 is back, baby

how about uhhh spongeboob

is there a pokeball going on

poirot would always be sittin around droning on about how he lied about finding lady puffinton's fingerprints on the mantle to trick her into confessing. sherlock holmes, meanwhile, would be coked up, running around town with his gay lover, shooting murder snakes with a fuck off revolver