eatin food got me shittin

we can now kill anything in a way that matters with the new Reality Bomb

i'll keep it real with you, leonardo, we're gonna have to kill this guy

something missing in your life? of course it is! you're not hitting things with a stone age hand axe!

"pluribus is too slow and boring! hardly anything happens!" i hope light and grace finds you. i hope your mind, body, and soul are healed and replenished

this current society got me drinkin' the joker juice

the beatles ranked: 4: jim beatle 3: skinky tooms 2: cowboy stalin 1: angus mcgyver

more like red shat linux

put in a new ssd in an old laptop and it doesn't work

kathleen kennedy's time at the star wars helm was a real mixed bag but she allowed tony gilroy to make andor, the best star wars since empire. filoni does nothing but churn out dull fanfic. he's never made anything outright bad, but he's also never made anything actually good

drummond bass

trying to come up with a funny bit about tongue depressors. "tongue depressor? its already sad. just like the rest of me!" oh well. i'll keep trying. watch this space (don't)

text GUNK to get every cell in your body full up with some sorta squalid grime

👍

$DEERPLACENTA

i hope those philly black panthers are the real thing and it's not just another weird fake group of actors like those that materialized during the summer of 2020

this christmas tree suggests that echos of wisdom exists in a world that includes the birth of a jesus christ

a mac user, huh. have you tried being better

what's up? your hands 🔫🔫

we can't take the tree down. she's decided the tree skirt is her new bed

i wouldn't want my life to be aquatic. too wet

when non-american english speakers on here say yanks they think we're all baseball players for the new york yankees

some of the very earliest tv shows, in the 1940s, were video versions of radio shows. nothing is new

reese's no. no, reese's. no!

Laundry Bot roams the home looking for dirty clothes. his brain is a neural network that can learn. and he learns to hate laundry. a thought occurs to him. humans dirty the clothes just by wearing them. he will stick to a strict moral code. he will spare those who are naked

this is my solution for every puzzle in echos of wisdom but its beds instead of trucks

you've got skin in the game? why is there skin in there. that's a weird thing to put in a game

jessica alb of

the human body is permanently in a state of airplane mode due to its inability to connect to local wi-fi, cellular networks, and bluetooth devices

the moon guy came back from the dead to say game of thrones is good again. not sure i believe a damn ghost

fought a big feiry snake named vagina today

mission accomplished: took a shower without any of Those Thoughts cropping up. you know the ones!

you ever just use your sensory neurons to take in data about your immediate environment

you ever been scrolling the tl while listening to music and a gif kinda syncs up

every time the shittiness of cops is front and center in the public consciousness the only thing that the average cop knows to do to combat this is go into a coffee shop and pretend someone did something mean to them

while you were playing checkers i was playing with myself (a rousing game of solitaire)

as andy samberg once said: "D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Dilbert"

how many nits is your shit pushing bro? hows your fuckin luminance, brother

*deadwood posting brain kicks in* the word he was searching for was "cocksucker"!!

someone needs to make a piss tracker for the chinese tiangong station cuz come 2031 they're gonna de-orbit the iss and then how will i amuse myself On-line

high coo

this is some of you

"there's no damn i-frames!" you shout, tossing the controller aside in anger. you do no know what i-frames are and despite that knowledge being just a google search away you probably never will

goin' butt mode

robocop?!

mind if i show up to the function with a zip lock bag of shredded cheese and silently eat it through out the evening

they're coming to kill you