ok but being attacked by a bear and surviving is honestly the coolest fucking thing that could ever happen to you as a teenager. you have the best story to tell for the rest of your life

Dosa 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I told T I was so drunk and she was like “what do you need darling?” And I just said “your patience and your grace”

Day drinking

I just chugged a margarita (I’m on a girls trip in Santa Fe) and then just saw that Giles from Buffy is dead I am fucking sobbing

welcome, Myles Garrett – one of the best and coolest players in the NFL, who I also like outside of sports – to my Enemies List

ok but this will make sean mcvay's sideline tantrums when the seahawks beat him the post season even better content

Aaron Donald...

i love her make her president

A horror movie where it’s just the night before your first day back in the office after a two week vacation

Omg we are both so drunk and I was just scrolling on my phone while Lindsey drunkenly mumbled about this guy she was dating and I was barely listening but then she said “fucking Rob. Named after a criminal act” and omg now I am crying 😭😭😭

Last night in Maui getting drunkkkkkk

I’ve been having an amazing Maui trip with my bestie and somehow also managed during this time to make the off campus series on prime my entire personality

Dinner views

🏝️🏝️🏝️

Good morning

Omg I just saw the Seahawks schedule release video A FORTUITOUS MUSK

Home

You guysssss this is the cutest salt and pepper delivery system I have ever seen 🥹

Ok this is where I tell you that my ex refused to kill spiders and either moved them outside or LET THEM EXIST IN THE HOUSE. And this is the real moment when I got the ick

So my first three days in Maui will be solo and I’m kind of really excited to just destress, swim in the ocean, walk the beach down to Wailea 3x per day, and read 800 books. I have a massage booked for tomorrow 😍 Then my bestie is coming for the next 7 days and the party will start

Had to chug the mai tai so they could take the glass before take off and friends I am buzzzzzzed

So my boss had our condo right before me and she said she left me my fav beverages in the fridge 🥰 AND she says there are monk seals on the beach in front! They are having a “deep sleep haul out” and that’s often for a couple of days at a time. Please still be there when I get there seal friends ❤️

This is my first time doing first on Hawaiian (yay points) and it’s kinda pleasant

Lyft driver drove like a lunatic to get me to the airport so fast during morning rush hour so I’m here super early hallelujah Bag was 52.5 lbs but the agent was like “shhhhh” hallelujah Flight is leaving from S gates with the best lounge hallelujah

the last 3 hours at work before you go on vacation for 10 business days are scientifically the hardest hours in the entire human experience

we had two amazing violinists from the seattle symphony come to work today and give us a little concert as part of the artsfund employee giving campaign and did you guys know that music is soooooo pretty?

euphoria gave me nightmares last night

I’m loving Vernon Davis on Rock the Block and he and Mina are getting fucking robbed

My esthetician just texted me that I’d get $10 off if I left a Google review and honestly I feel bad for not having already left one. So I did it immediately and was just briefly jarred by the “add photos” option lol

i don't see what's so wrong with little critters milking their buds

Concerning!

My maxi skirt is too maxi today, I keep getting it totally stuck on the swivel casters on my chair. I’m now afraid I’m gonna get up from my desk too quickly and walk away without my skirt.

I combined two different bouquets and there was a bit of a lopsided growing process here but the end result is big fat peonies and they make me so happy

my friend (the dog condom one) keeps encouraging me to go back on the apps. i've told her "no. ew." but that i might be ready in like...autumn. she says the hottest guys are on tinder, which i have never used. blueskies, is this true?

at this point you need to watch all the videos in your camera roll because there's like a 7 percent chance that you have video of these two in public that you filmed totally by accident

Breaking: Tennessee Republicans pass new 9-0 gerrymander after SCOTUS destruction of Voting Rights Act eliminating state’s only majority-Black district & last Democratic seat. Splits Memphis, which is 63% Black, into 3 districts to disenfranchise Black voters. Quite literally a return to Jim Crow

Fine I'll say it: having an affair with a pregnant woman is actually extremely virtuous because it means you can't produce a child out of wedlock.

Wow you can just watch the Seahawks best defensive plays from Super Bowl LX on a random night in early May. That’s legal. That’s allowed.

I got this text from my friend and I’m dead now. I have died.

Someone just described my style as "cottage core adjacent" - I think that's a compliment? Orrrrr does it mean I look like a trad wife? Or maybe that's okay to look like a trad wife because I'm actually a rabid feminist - so it's like, oohh sneak attack.

I am still so annoyed that AI popularized the em dash so much that now if you use it, people assume you are writing with AI. I just like the em dash! I have always liked the em dash!

I should be able to delete a file while a program is using it. The program will just have to figure it out. Who is in charge here?

Anthropic warns that Charlie Brown could have hoes by Q3 of this year