I can be a little rascal, as a treat?

Just waking up. I got a huge burst of energy last night (Seahawks related) and stayed up until 5am. I cleaned purged and organized my huge medicine cabinet for the first time since I moved in 8 years ago. I woke up this morning and opened it and could almost hear angels singing, it was so beautiful.

Checking in on r/49ers and this was the first thing I saw

now seems as good a time as any to remind ya’ll that Michael Bennett blames Matt Stafford for JFK’s death

The 49ers scored 3 points in their first game under Kyle Shanahan in 2017. Since then, they had never been held under six points in a game over the course nearly nine seasons until the Seahawks held them to 3 tonight.

Who up controlling their destiny

Mood

Be my son in law JSN please

Sam Darnold I am with you until the sun explodes

The 49ers came into this game averaging 42.3 points, 455.3, and 29.3 first downs over their last three games, punting twice in those games. The Seahawks just held them to 3 points 173 yards and nine first downs.

Number fucking 1 seed

you beautiful defensive boys

Peyton “It’s getting a little tense on that 49ers sideline” Marshawn: “GOOD”

Oh that was so beautiful

Yesyesyes

Ok yay

Have we considered a more appropriate anthem such as the imperial March

I’ve come around on the mustache

One last hour of relaxation before the Seahawks destroy my physical and mental health

The turkeys have gotten too confident. They are colonizing my mom’s roof now

Was drunkenly pressured into signing up for fb dating last night and checked my messages just now against my better judgement

Omg my neighbor came over and we drank wine and why I’m sooo. Drunk

I made a cheese and charcuterie plate with these Trader Joe’s Swiss rosettes last week and now I’m obsessed with them. I bought a hundred of them to snack on. “Excuse me, it’s time for my evening cheese rose.”

Ok I finally watched the first episode of Pluribus and omg I am so fucking in

It's 2026. Things many old people don't know how to do: * Avoid getting scammed by literally anyone on the internet or phone

Doing that thing where I add all my known trip destinations for the year to my weather app (even tho the trips are many months away lol)

new year’s resolution: lesbianism

You can’t tell from this photo but the moon is being like super pretty

Lab techs and blood banks love my veins. I've heard "oh honey, you have beautiful veins" at least 3 times in my life.

Of these 18,487 pages, only like 35% is actual smut so 🤓

too many men on the field? honey's there too many men EVERYwhere

This is very similar to the time I said to my wife “Girl are you a latte in autumn because I wanna pump kin inside you” and that’s why we didn’t have a third child.

No, man. She was in the back of the store swiping his sub rolls back to front like a credit card.

No. One summer she did work at a sandwich shop and was making him sandwiches every day in the morning. She would take the bread and, unbeknownst to him, rub it on her vagina first. Then found out later he'd been giving the sandwiches to his coworkers like half the time.

Most unhinged thread of 2025 award goes to this one for me I still sometimes think about her swiping that sandwich like a credit card

Everyone is saying Train Dreams is wonderful and I do want to see it but my feelings about it are all twisty. This guy I was sort of talking to long distance - it was his favorite book & for my birthday he recorded himself reading it to me. The whole book. It was like 5 hours! Incredibly sweet.

Waded through all the breaking news about the Stefon Diggs criminal charges and summarized everything over on @defector.com. It includes details from the police narrative, a big thank you to @nbcboston.com for posting that in full online. Gift link: defector.com/stefon-diggs...

this was fun

RIP Mike F, he made endless bangers but this is my favorite

I don't think anyone has gotten mad at me on bluesky, to my face. (i'm fine with ppl hating me behind my back - that's none of my business.) but i don't really engage outside my mutuals on bluesky like i did on twitter. i kind of miss that.

I told my bro and sister in law that I was starting to get into tea and they bought me a cute lil gooseneck tea pot and infuser and shipped me this tea from Paris that smells fucking incredible and I just love my new cozy tea habit 🥰

It is very cold outside.

chill on 87. there’s one college degree in this relationship and it ain’t hers

if you don't have the moral clarity necessary to rawdog a basket of fries by yourself we aren't compatible

No one cares about your fantasy team and they care EVEN LESS about your airline status but omg I will never be this close to titanium status ever again in all my days

My suitcase weighed 51 pounds today but they didn’t charge me an overweight baggage fee and I’m still thinking about it bc that was really just so nice

a fun thing is realizing that somewhere around 50% of the most evil people in america get excited every time the san francisco 49ers win a football game