I think we've seen the words millions, billions, and trillions thrown around so often we've collectively lost a sense of scale. Like, $39 trillion? I can't wrap my head around that.

There's a Hard Rock Cafe like 3 blocks from here. Anyone who follows me knows I normally rail against touristy shit. But no matter where in the world you find yourself you know exactly what to expect at a Hard Rock and dammit I could crush some Jack Daniel's Ribs right about now. Maybe tomorrow.

Sometimes I think bar owners/operators have never sat at a bar before. The seats are too low. You can't rest your arms on the bar. The 90 degree cut on the bartop? That's not comfortable. And the seat backs offer no support at all. 2/10.

If this time travel experiment works, I should be able to go from here and now and reappea—

Go ahead and put his dumb face on my passport. People of the world already know why I am getting the fuck out of the US for a time but it can be a redundant reminder

That time I got photo bombed in Key West, Florida by some chickens!

Sneaker Pimps #triphop #music #90s music.youtube.com/watch?v=ATAj...

When a king says you’re too kingy

Man, I never get jet lag going east to west but I am exhausted. Only walked like 4 maybe 5 miles today? If that. Maybe just acclimating to the humidity? Hoping to sleep well tonight. I am le tired.

New city. Who dis?

Transitioning between barely speaking any Portuguese to barely speaking any Spanish is ROUGH. Lot of ¿como se dice? coming up.

Forgot to download an eSim before arriving in country so I couldn't use Uber. Rolled up to a very posh hotel in a 1986 Nissan Sentra cab held together with tape with smoke pouring out of the exhaust. *shrugs* That's just how I roll.

Whatever. Don't judge me.

Anthony Bourdain preparing a meal in his New York City apartment, 1986

Well I know we landed, Turkish Airlines. I was there when it happened.

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater than an overpriced airport beer

Wow, it's still yesterday in Anchorage, Alaska.

Ugh. Why is Earth so BIG? Traveling 4 hours in one direction just to turn back around and travel 14 hours back the other direction because it was $400 cheaper.

Wait, there a FOUR Shrek movies?

I'm that guy that boards the plane last. So you're thinking "yay! I have the aisle to myself!" Nope. Sorry.

Wow. Well done.

Quick, without any context can you tell who @otterskate.bsky.social is referring to?

It's always nice when I'm like 6" taller than pretty much everyone around me.

I've still got like 14 GB to waste in the next 2 hours. Gonna be a lot of shitposting and music videos once I get through security.

"I wish I'd taken more pictures of the sidewalks" is probably something no one ever really thought before.

Headed to the airport. Uber driver's radio plays "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. That hits. youtu.be/Cwkej79U3ek?...

I do not feel represented by my government. Just saying.

Man I have to wake up in less than 5 hours. This is bullshit.

Crossed my least favorite bridge to walk to a store

Passport Wallet Phone I could give a shit about the second two. But yeah if I have two of these three I can go anywhere

Watching real time food delivery is like "WTF Mohammed hurry your ass up" and up like "I hope that guy on a bicycle is okay"

I don't think anyone here truly appreciates how efficiently I can shovel food into my face hole using just two small sticks.

Yeh, I get to get up at like 1:30 to catch a flight at 6:50 to spend 24+ hours on planes and airports. Living the dream

Red is Gizmo’s colour! #catboxsunday #teamfloof #CatsOfBluesky

It's too windy is a perfectly good reason to go back to bed.

Bluesky should have a feature where you delete other poster's posts.

Whatever. I was at a McDonald's once and a guy outside shot himself in the leg trying to pull a gun on someone. I sat right there eating my 20 pc McNuggets and fries even after the ambulance and cops showed up. This is a true story. I was like 15 at the time.

*triple checks* Okay airfare booked Visa thing done Uber to the airport confirmed Hotel reservation confirmed Hoping my checked baggage comes in under 23 kg. Let's go exploring!

I don't know how to polymarket but I'd wager the guy with guns running past a security checkpoint at the WHCD gets a pardon on Friday, May 9th.

Happy, young donkey in a hammock: #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmil...

😍

Witness the stunning timelapse of a lightning storm over Western Australia, where nature's fury creates a breathtaking spectacle of light and power.

"Suspect is shirtless. I repeat, suspect is NOT wearing a shirt." Well, that actually DOES narrow it down quite a bit. Thanks.

Anyway, I hope every single person who was there last night gets shoved into the pyramid with his corpse.

*wakes up, turns on the news* Oh. Well. That's a shame. Anyways I need to do some laundry.

Did you know the streets aren't paved with cheese? It's all a lie. *sobs*

The two hardest things to say are “I love you” and “Worcestershire sauce”

Okay, look. I wanted to revisit this because I thought it was a pretty solid joke. Do NOT type "pew pew" into Bsky's search tab to look this up. Trust me. *fuckin hell*

Kinda funny that in the 15th century Dachshunds were bred to hunt Badgers.

It's been like, eight months since I've stubbed a pinky toe on a piece of furniture. I feel like the universe is setting up something epic against me. I'm scared.