I ate too much food.

Tfw you tanked the economy so badly that you're bullshitting your way out of being attacked by a hungry angry mob of citizens

Release the fucking files.

Today I learned that people put eggs in their macaroni dish.

No but why does that turkey look like someone shat in it, sprinkled smoked paprika on it, then broiled it for six straight hours? 😭

Did y'all get enough butthole bread today?

GUYS I'M SO FULL

Straight-up sociopath. Asked about a Guard member who’s dead because of his bullshit and it takes him 30 seconds to make it all about how great he is.

Still waiting for a reporter to say this

My identical twin brothers are full on turkey and O-U-T

Lmfao

White folks: Champions of missing the point since forever ago

Someone tell Tyler that I said Happy Turkey Day, TURKEY, so he can ignore it lol

Today and every day, I ain't celebrating shit but the grub. You white folks think about what you and your ancestors did.

It's Thanksgiving. Y'all gonna give thanks for me or nah?

The holidays are the perfect time to give your racist uncle that heart attack he's earned.

What if, instead of pretending to enjoy Aunt Carla's casserole whatever, you TELL HER THE GODDAMNED TRUTH?

this is a new one

LMFAO No fucking way did this dork go on television and say this shit

I hope y'all whites like raisins and flavorless shit that barely passes for food

At tomorrow's big Thanksgiving get-together, remember to tell your racist white family members that Trump fucked a horse and sucked off Bubba Clinton. But wait until they're loaded with so much sugar, fat and booze that they drop dead at the dinner table. Happy Turkey Day, divas!

I don’t know who is ready to hear this but people don’t have to add value Like people should also be allowed to exist for free

This whole thing stinks of that ghoul Stephen Miller.

It's Thanksgiving Eve.

Guys 🥹

If for some reason you’re still subscribed to the Washington Post, you can get the same information from a local men’s room stall

I've prepped and made SO MUCH FOOD

The Washington Post's next source

I'm wearing my Big Deborah T-shirt tomorrow.

Ah, Thanksgiving. A day of celebration and the equivalent of a company potluck, only this one features Aunt Carla's cat fur surprise and your cousin's long yellow shit-filled nails serving up top-notch finger foods.

Me[bored and eating a piece of pie]: 👁👄👁 So, my brother says he met you in church. My brother, looking uncomfortable AF: "We met at a gas station. I told you that." His gf[pulling down her shirt to show me the rest of her Jesus tattoo]: "I got this'n in Tennessee." Me to my brother:

Thanksgiving baking is underway. 😎 youtu.be/aQnW-MxAU6U?...

😘 www.instagram.com/reel/DRdaA2b...

The only reason I regret cutting off my extended family lol www.instagram.com/reel/DRc79L3...

I mean, www.instagram.com/p/DRNbCMeEj9...

Redneck fancy lol

'Tis the season to be cautious.

Them: "You wanna take a walk to burn off some of those calories?" Me:

Honestly, without kind folks, I might have turned into a monster.

Barf.

I mean, that just goes without saying.

Not many people know this, guys, but I'm actually a super rich international playgirl and spy. I just live in a rundown shack in Madison County, Arkansas, for the aesthetics.

Same energy.

"I just hope you're as poor as you say you are." 1. Why the fuck would you want the worst for me? 2. Baby, I splurged on a set of grippy socks yesterday and felt like a goddamn queen. 3. Get a life, loser.

Y'all got me out here gripping my chest like

Me this morning

I still can't believe he did that. Like, seriously, I just can't wrap my mind around it. I only asked for his help in finding an affordable guitar because this guy's the real deal. He has a studio and collection of guitars, and plays live and has been doing so since way back when. So imagine my