Hypothetically, how many times can you listen to a song on repeat before you’re tired of it?

Happy birthday to me and America! Mostly me though 😎

PORKALICIOUS DEFINITION MAKE THEM BOYS GO LOCO

Dungeoncarl on Threadless is my newest obsession

They’re going to make Seth MacFarlane the voice of the AI and I already hate it so fucking much 😭 This is my DCC hill to die on

I miss my Neyo

Someone got spayed and has finally shut up for the first time in weeks 🎉 Plus bonus blep!

I accidentally messaged my four Ghosts of Friendships Past last night and none of them responded, which has taught me a valuable life lesson (to never get drunk again 😅)

Bleach blonde Nicholas Hoult is fucking diabolical, I can’t believe it’s allowed on daytime television

If someone in the central Kansas area brought me a Vuse vape with menthol pods I’d pay like 60 bucks I hate my life hahahaha

I know I sent you pics of ghosts but it wasn’t supposed to be a suggestion

I build my internet experience brick by brick

How it feels finally unpinning their conversation from the top of your discord inbox

Listening to a podcast so aggressively Canadian that I feel myself forming a deep-seated grudge against an entire people

I’ve decided to start refining my overall algorithm to make my time spent online a more cohesive and curated experience centered around my main interests (bbno$ mpreg)

I can’t stop listening to Cosmere podcasts, especially Fantasy FanFellas. I should have done a Mistborn podcast at one point, maybe I still will (it will not pass the Bechdel Test)

False, it feels like ten thousand 🥵 What a fun time for a massive power outage

Central Kansas is in fuckin shambles, I’ll literally never have electricity again. That was the scariest storm I’ve ever been through and I’ve lived in tornado alley my entire life 😭

Done acting tough and dramatic, defense mechanisms are hard to change. I just wish I knew why things always turn out this way. Maybe I really should take a long break from everything ever.

I love Timehop! I’m still emo tweeting, I’m still dramatic, it’s literally the same shit except for the fun part 🤘🏻 I’m joining the avoidant team

I am BEGGING men to explore the concept of Limerence

Ayyyyeee I got another platonic breakup text to add to my collection. How the FUCK do I make friends with women to avoid this bullshit? Anyway, I’m avoiding discord for like, the entire foreseeable future soooo hit me up here. Or nowhere. Maybe I’ll throw my phone into the sea.

Computer, smite the unworthy

Yall ever known an Eddy? Those motherfuckers are next level

Libra: No matter how many times you repeat your name, the barista just keeps writing Loser.

Cancer: Your past lives are catching up to you. And they're mad as hell.

Me 99.9% of the time: I hope everyone I’ve ever known experiences nothing but peace, happiness, and personal healing on their life journey Me after a single drink:

Just in: Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem have backed out of Trump's event.

BREAKING: Zack Attack has backed out of Freedom 250.

Everything is coming together for a triple winner 😈

This Facebook recommendation absolutely fried me, my digital footprint must be next level

Was it something I said? 🙃

fred flintstone: yabba dabba doo! neurologist [to wilma]: as i was saying, we need to run more tests

Cancer: It’s not your imagination, everyone is out to get you.

Softer worser slower weaker

A single like and I will start trauma dumping the good stuff

Uber but for sins of the flesh

Business idea an Amazon drone that sells loosies

I had my first drink in years and didn’t calculate that I’ve also recently quit nicotine HELP WHAT WAS I THINKING now I’m tipsy off absolutely nothing and need a smoke more than life itself and live 30 miles from the nearest town don’t be me never be me

The crow

All right, your boy is SUPER broke (negative $122)! If anyone wants to help out, I'm going to be selling SPORTS JERSEY SKETCH CARDS! 1 for $20 or 2 for $30! Any player, any sport, any team! Just hit me up! I accept Zelle/Paypal/gift cards. If you don't like sports, I can also do movie/TV clothes

Yall, check out my ghosts with cats they’re so cute 🥺

“You’re my best friend ever, I’ve never felt this close to anyone! I can literally tell you anything.” And we never spoke again.

Now mind you, THEY always chase ME

Be your own soulmate

Off on a tornado adventure 😎

Manic Pixie Dream Villain

Strange New Worlds taught me that I am Spock and honestly it makes total sense