Nobody: No one at all: My wife: Hey, I know! Let's do what I want to!

It really is a beautiful tree, and a hybrid Pedunculate/Sessile (Quercus robur/Quercus petraea

Ladies & Gentlemen, without further ado, let us present to you the 550 year old Arbour Oak in Wollaton Park, Nottingham

today's other bake should have gone in the oven first, but i forgot how slowly it rises. and so the pizza cooked for 20 min at 500°f while these cinnamon buns took they sweet ass time anyway, they turned out fine after all

Hell yeah, scored some rosemary lamb salami 🍜

Renegade by Styx was one of the hits off of the wildly successful 1979 album Pieces of Eight. It reminds me of being at the KofC hitting on the Malovich sisters. I thought I was flirting with Nora but it turned out my friend was. I didn't get Janey, either. 🤷🏼‍♂️ youtu.be/E9eLz4DrwF8?...

All right, listen up gents. Word has come down from the owner that the smell of youse guys is rank. He says now that we got a couple wins under our belts, it's time for youse to be changing your undies on the regular, starting today. So. Kowalski, you change with Adams. Adams, you change with...

What happens if you plant an orange kitty? A whole lotta shenanigans, that's what.

Avoid tears, arguments and possible violence on Christmas morning by giving a cool 70s, 80s, or 90s reproduced brand shirt from Groovytude! It's what everyone wants! 👉 Groovytude.Threadless.com

THINGS ARE PRETTY GOOD HERE 🇨🇦 PeaceLoveCanada.ca

You know you're old when the first text you get on your birthday is from your pharmacy!! 🤣🤣.

If u go to Manhattan and you’re like “this is the greatest city in the world” that’s nice. If u go to Astoria and you’re like “this is the greatest city in the world” maybe u belong here lmao

she felt very special

“Are the cops gone?” “Yeah.” “Thanks buddy, I owe you one.”

Lobster Roll Mac and Cheese with Brioche Crumb 🦞🧀 Recipe 👉 zimmysnook.ca/lobster-roll... If you love lobster rolls and creamy mac and cheese, this recipe brings the best of both worlds into one unforgettable dish. #foodie #comfortfood #BBQmunity

$20 received! I'm deeply grateful- it brings me to $195, with about 13 hours left until $700 rent is due. (I goofed the time in the above post, had 14 hours, but that's very little difference.) Can you be the next one to chip in? Who can match that last $20, or even send $5? Please keep sharing!

I miss my hearing every day but it's Christmas that I miss it the very most. I guess I'm just an old, dumb nostalgic pushover but I *like* Christmas music. I hope I can get some booze to dull this hurt this year.

OK, I'll allow Christmas now.

All right, listen up gents. Word has come down from the owner that the smell of youse guys is rank. He says now that we got a couple wins under our belts, it's time for youse to be changing your undies on the regular, starting today. So. Kowalski, you change with Adams. Adams, you change with...

Avoid tears, arguments and possible violence on Christmas morning by giving a cool 70s, 80s, or 90s reproduced brand shirt from Groovytude! It's what everyone wants! 👉 Groovytude.Threadless.com

Why do turds suddenly appear Every time I neck beer? Do the maths I'm shitting in the bath Lamped again

[strong male voiceover]: Next, on MGM+ [pause] Prepuce: The Adventures of Nubbin Hood!

"Bitches, I'm a Lakers fan," Leo is reported to have said.

Me: Whoa! Look it that '66 Fairlane! Him: That's a '67. The tail lights are totally different. Me: Oh. Nice though. Anyway, your wife kicked you out? Why? Him: I guess I forgot her birthday again.

You don't notice the extent life can pancake until you regain some breathing room and realize that you're mentally celebrating a return to the mid-range toilet paper.

I hate this slow lane. But we cannot catch up on bills and fix all the stuff we had to leave undone on the house and "fix" the cats and dogs and reestablish our healthcare routines (new glasses, docs, etc.) all at once. It's frustrating. We ordered a cheap (probably shit) chiller/freezer from...

The kitties (and the puppies) are always in need of more food, as are the two humans that take care of them. We could also use a lot of other stuff that will make life easier for all of us and allow us to spend more of our own money on bills and rent and such! #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest

All these youngsters thinking that AI relationships are something new. Kids, from the day I came of drinking age until I was 30, I loved a different fake woman every Saturday night.

Aurora by Leon Gordon Miller (1976) #screenprint

Soup Club was delicious as usual 😋 🍜🍽️ Pictured here are 4/5: • Mexican meatball soup • Peanut stew w/ tofu • Buffalo chicken chili • Polish pickle soup

Anyone wanna play a game where we hide the pickle?

According to Turncoat Senator and taxpayer funded healthcare black hole John Fetterman, he received twenty stitches after his recent fall. Sadly, doctors were unable to close his mouth.

A lot of our neighbors are Baptists and I like to watch them walk by on Sunday mornings together, dressed in their best, as they go to and come from church. It's nice. Even for a non-believer. Me? I try to spend my worship time with the old goddesses. Like Georgine Darcy.

No candy canes but if you have a Christmas sweet tooth, I got you a 1970s Starbar, a 1970s Marathon and a 1990s PBMax. Men's and Women's styles from tees to hoodies to sweatshirts in plenty of colors. 🎄 Groovytude.Threadless.com #Christmas #70s #90s #MensGifts #WomensGifts #HardToSHopFor

Whoa there cul-de-sac cowboy in your big ol' shiny truck. Are you ridin' to Dunks to round up some donuts with sprinkles?

Opening a screen door should sound like an old man bringing a can of dilly beans up from the cellar

Megyn Kelly should have __________ stuffed in her _________ and then she should be _________ !!!!

Porn mags. Iran is low on porn mags.

Kash Patel receiving another ‘surprise’ prostate exam while standing at a podium.

Time was, at 8:30 on a Saturday night, I'd just be getting into the shower in preparation for going out. Now I'm getting into bed for preparation for... Huh. Damn. What was I talking about?

I was saying ‘goodbye, I love you’ on the phone to my Mum & Siri said ‘thanks, I think you’re pretty great too’. So honestly who is Mother? 😹

Meant to be going out for dinner with my wife tonight but she's ill and has gone to bed. I've been to the local Co-Op and bought myself a large sausage roll and a tub of ice cream. Secretly, I'm delighted.

Konstanza Vase by Dümler & Breiden, West Germany (1970) #Earthenware

It may be miserable outside, but Marvin F. Stewart wishes everyone - feline, canine or human - on BlueSky a very happy #Caturday!

Shopping for meat at the market is a subject that most expat writers cover early and often. It ain't like back home, kids. There's very little wrapped meat at most supermarkets. Chicken and pork are piled into cold cases sometimes with ice, sometimes not. (Sometimes not in the case at all!)

#Hair of the week Jill Haworth by Bert Stern (1967)

🤫

Crashed. 💜 #cats #Caturday

finished Celebrity Traitors and Bakeoff last week and Taskmaster just now. I guess its back to snuff films for me

My little dog's shadow self is a big dog too