you think you’re better than me??

Rose was being majestic

It’s Christmas and I’m in love

I’m in my sexy Christmas outfit

let’s all join hands and watch the Chargers play futbaw

good morning sensual followers.

you got any games on your phone, playboy?

Important update from Old Gods App™️: Current advice from The Old Gods is to reinstitute blood letting rituals to ward off upcoming catastrophes

merry christmas lovers

getting love letters owns

for the boys

Time for a second coffee. Let’s get this anxiety out on the open road and really see what it can do

God wants Philip Rivers to win today. She told me so

the buffalo bills are being hunted to extinction

a nice thing about Texas is they give you topo chico while you’re looking at hats/western wear

I had such a nice time seeing one of my favorite bands. Go see La Luz if you have a chance. Ok see you later love you bye bye

can check

let me know in the comments

walking around my house is so much fun! just going from one room to another - wherever i feel like going!

La Luz at Austin City Limits

girl breakfast

(my impression of waitstaff in texas) holler if I can get yall anything

stand there and name the one you love while all the early morning traffic at the airport watches and waits

I don’t put my phone on airplane mode during flights. I am not a nerd.

Hey, Dad. All my life I have been the stone in the creek. Shaped by forces moving around me that I could not understand. Today I will become the creek. I will swell over the banks and into the world. I will make it smaller. I will reduce all things. Hope you get this voicemail. Hope you can swim.

kissing a pretty lady at the airport > even the most luxurious breakfast sandwich

sometimes when the football team I like wins a game, I swagger around my house and accuse the dog of not believing in me

our first mistake when we kidnapped the bog witch was that you can't just store them in a bathtub full of regular water, they need bog water. our second mistake was not burying the bog witch in a deeper grave.

I love exciting opportunities

spending tomorrow evening watching a christmas movie with someone I love because good things are possible and I deserve them

this weekend’s forecast calls for scattered napping with intermittent video games

Cashier reported I "created a risk to operational security" when I took my pebus out at the grocery store

gotta put this little guy on there so the coffee doesn’t escape

oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody

nespresso pod advent calendar is the reason for the season

HBOMax has started showing a "remastered" 4K scene of my weekend where I am walking arm in arm with a beautiful woman and we're so cute that we're making bystanders ill, you can see the crew with the vomit hose on the right

(from my main account) about to do the doubles tennis mixer (from my other account Alt Library of Congress) im not supposed to say this, but we all know it feels good as hell to jerk off in the library

"I'll always defend trans right BUT—" You can stop right there. Oh and while I have your ear, everything after blood sugar sex magik has SUCKED

Sending a wax-sealed letter to my confidant overseas asking if he wants to grab a beer tomorrow night

thanksgiving is lit 🔥🔥🔥

I had a wonderful meal with my family. We spent time laughing, remembering my father, crying, and laughing some more. I am truly blessed and grateful for the people in my life.

I am, as always, thankful for Gaming

Hold up, hey For my uncles who be actin' too bold Take a seat Hope you ready for the next episode— Hey hey heyy hey Happy Thanksgiving Day

few know the sublime feeling of talking to peachy peach about kissy kiss

do u think the animals in Zootopia and Zootopia 2 can feel pain

putting a franchise tag on my gf

I practice trans acceptance every day by getting carried in multiplayer games by outstanding trans gamers.