I love in movies when someone says "Whatever he's paying you, I'll double it"... I love payments getting doubled

Here's my setup

Salad Johnny

Tomb Raider comics

Dust Bowl Clowns

Top Gun Comics

Oh yeah, I make these screen-printed 5"x7" postcards and send them out to people every month. You can get them too if you sign up today www.patreon.com/stevescards

Just bricked my gallbladder

They should make yearbooks for middle aged guys

Safe Quackers comic

James Bond Comics

comic

Thinking about becoming haughty

Be careful with me bitch

Imagine if a cobra ever coiled around an 8-ball… that would be soooo scary

Throwing a 5’8” Party, where everyone has to wear a VR headset connected to a camera on their body positioned exactly 5’8” from the ground

Putting a decal on my car that makes it look like it’s been scratched by some kind of massive 3-clawed creature

Multiforce in Tiny Furniture

Thinking about having an Oslo Trilogy

My name is also Zanny Minton Beddoes

When you get to Heaven they lay out all the pairs of shoes you wore in your life and you get to look at them and go “Oh yeah I kind of remember wearing those ones”

Scooterz: From Basics To Beyond (VHS) : 1377s

Having a Indie Sleaze themed party for my 42nd birthday

Putting the finishing touches on the set for my new talk show

Le jumpscare

Bad stuff

Beaver tracks

(reading the news to my wife) Huh, so they're coming out with a new Serum, which is only to be sold in extremely tiny glass bottles. Perhaps due to its concentrated powerfulness

Scientists have discovered a new kind of dust which is up to 10 times dustier than regular dust

At the airport I saw a grown up middle aged adult man pouring a packet of flavor powder in to a bottle of water. That's the kind of stuff you see at the airport

If you're going to tell someone an unflattering celebrity you think they look like, you can just say it to them, you don't have to specify that they "probably get this all the time" first

The doctor circumcising me asking if I want it squared off or tapered

Hard to suspend my disbelief while watching Westerns... Seems hard to believe that not a single cowboy would come up with the technology for smokebombs, nunchaku, blow darts, etc, and easily dominate the Old West

What if it was Rogan Atkinson, he’d probably get his head stuck in a uhhhhhhhhh sensory depravation chamber

About me

Oncologist flipping open file folder: I’m afraid your liver is unc

Lenny Kravitz is Bawma in 007 First Light.

Ten years ago “boingo hotspot” was one of the worst collections of syllables you could hear. But now it’s a beloved phrase we all love to encounter

It's somewhat of an impossible dichotomy,

Hey, Wicked For Good when you're done taking care of that green lady, we have our own funny colored supervillain here on planet Earth that we need your help with. And he's in the White House

If I was a kid and my parents had tattoos I'd be pissed. Each one of those things is like $200 that could be cash money in my pocket

Oh no an evil clown just showed up and is doing some clown tricks. Hopefully it’s normal versions of the clown tricks and not evil versions of them

Taking my big pants college daughter out for lunch at the local food hall

GeoCities began as BHI, which stood for Beverly Hills Internet,