They had Lady G killed to pull focus from Mitch McConnell

Why the fuck aren’t potato chip bags resealable?

The power is back on. I can finally sleep

The power came back just long enough for me to be hopeful. Sitting in the dark again

Ok, so I kind of want to talk out the implications of if The Minions were present at the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ

Huge storm came through and knocked out our power. Idk how I’m going to sleep without a fan

I’m really good at eating wings

Return trip was a middle aged white guy. No politics. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket 🤔

Just had an old white guy for an uber driven and he didn’t try to talk to me about his shitty politics. Maybe today will be good after all

The bad chicken impressions on Arrested Development

I bought a Vietnamese cookbook a few months ago to broaden my culinary repertoire. The first recipe I made was so good I haven’t made anything else but that out of the cookbook

I was going to post hog for the first time but it seems like bsky is broken. Now I’m not in the mood

Me and my bluesky moots

fuuuuuuuck! someone cancel me already!

Starting off this long weekend by doing the most American thing I can think of. Having 4 AM diarrhea

Meet my new boyfriend O.o

Why do so many people who don’t like mayonnaise act like they were tortured and force fed mayo at some point? I saw you make that face when I put mayonnaise on my sandwich. How about you mind your business?

GotDAM Fresca is good!

Some people need to make their address more prominent. I’m out here in the heat trying to protect democracy and I can’t tell which house I’m supposed to knock

Is it irony that a stable climate is what made human civilization possible and now we’re causing a threat to civilization by destabilizing the climate?

@kfartx.bsky.social has broken containment! This is not a drill!

I’m still having a hard time getting my head around the fact that robo is being used as an antidepressant now

Truly blessed to have an Indian place, a Chinese place, a sushi place, a Mexican place, and a Greek pizzeria all in a 5 min drive from my house

My roommate dropped me at the grocery store while he picked up dinner and I forgot my vape. This is my personal 9/11

I make really good curry chicken salad

Ok, nobody told me my perineum would get less tight as I aged. I’m not upset, just surprised

I got my chicken stock going on the stove and then realized I don’t want to be awake for another 6 hours 😭

Batten down the hatches! It’s legal for straight people to be in public again in less than 24 hrs

Watching the hat dance scene in Wicked and crying my eyes out 😭

There’s no way Smaug wasn’t gay. All that drama over some gold and jewels?

Inventing a french fry that’s good cold

Love bombing myself

There needs to be a half rice option on the Pancheros app. I want rice but not this much

There should be a hugging emoji but both the people have big naturals

According to superdeterminism I have no choice but to be a messy fat faggot

Having phone sex with a ghost? Thats spooky action at a distance.

If Zohran Mamdani is such a socialist the why isn’t he sleeping with all of us???

Instead of using the code pdf file for pedophile on TikTok, youth pastor would be an acceptable alternative

It’s a watch King’s Quest V gameplay kind of evening

It’s great the people in the US are moving a bit further left politically. I’m just curious why we had to wait until Christian Nationalists were running so much of the government?

We are physically okay but we have lost a lot. Downloaded the app on my other phone to make this post as I don't have working wifi at the moment. My house caught fire around 2:30am today. We have lost a lot. Any shares will help. www.gofundme.com/f/rebuilding...

Talked with someone who had the intersex progress pride flag outside their house but they were wearing a thin blue line punisher shirt. I don’t understand some people

Every time you receive customer service you should tell their manager they deserve a raise and 2 weeks paid vacation. It’s an easy way to turn eating out or shopping into praxis

It’s almost like they know they’ve done illegal and unethical things 🤔

“Mind if I come burp in your face for a while?” -Banjo

Could someone tell me why I’m using my hoody as a blanket instead of just putting it on?

I’m not crying listening to Defying Gravity while reheating bbq, you are

Finding out that real parmesan reggiano is produced by a farmer coop makes me feel a lot better about paying a premium price

People say homosexuality is unnatural and then get absolutely sopping wet over the stock market. Meanwhile other animals be fuckin whoever and don’t know shit about Dow Jones

I ate too much ice cream and now tummy hort 🥺