Curious George getting carried off and eaten by a peregrine falcon (+fed to its chicks) (regurgitated)

It wasn’t me I have an alibi

Anyways I'm too busy to get to the wedding Don junior. Working on some documents.

gone off an edible and a nine foot tall demonic chicken cop stands between me and the chips. never had a chance

It must be my birthday

I'm absolutely sick of doing the "imagine if" bit but seriously: can you imagine what this would be like if the letters next to their names were flipped

my comic from 2019 :)

sounds like he's uniquely qualified hey what happened to that lunar flyby mission they were going to do

GoPro tried to do this "everything you see is shot on the new line of cameras" thing but then revealed the actual rigs in their own footage, I don't think i'm going to strap that to my helmet sorry

Dog Piss! In the Duplo Bin

the Death Project

all glasses with frames are suspect. sorry, i don’t make the rules. i should, though, i’d be really good at it (making rules)

Ah someone finally tried to use it briefly as a boat, wonderful

I've decided to have food poisoning today

STOLEN MOISTURE DENSITY GAUGE Irving, TX, 05/11/2026 "On May 11, 2026, at 1630 CDT, the Department was notified by the licensee that an InstroTek model 3500 moisture density gauge was stolen from their pickup truck. The gauge contained a 10 mCi Cs-137 source and a 40 mCi Am-241/Be source. The […]

we can now reveal that these aircraft were piloted by two entirely italian american crews and they were yelling and gesturing to each other the whole way down to the ground

“They have mommy’s hair” okay dude calm down

Wildlife report from the park: turkey, turtles

i will not vote for any democrat that encourages throwing the trans community under the bus, i dont care who the opponent is i will not participate in an election where the choice is between two candidates that will attack marginalized communities to reach their personal political aspirations

someone corner Matt here and demand he name a fourth thing

Oooooh it’s Pepito

The reason people keep doing crimes for Trump is that you get rewarded for doing them, congratulations to Colorado's Dem governor for making sure we get more people trying to overturn elections on his behalf bsky.app/profile/kyle...

Saw an ancient place today

Sick of these golden idols

I know what’s going on

Hey, quick question

going to the mf aquarium today

Maybe it will happen tomorrow

interesting rationale from a prospective juror in the Elon Musk Twitter stock manipulation case

Transmetropolitan ass future

I got a simple meshtastic device and it's amazing how simple the setup is. Time from unboxing to "okay now what" maybe five minutes.

Would you like some boysenberries

Can’t do anything about it sorry I’m just some guy

Two tiny adorable legs of stone stand in the desert. Our latest line of children’s clothing from Cozymandias ™

I want to post a joke about my baby's Waste Containment Garment but the last time I posted anything of the sort it was retweeted by some truly unhinged fetish accounts. please just know it is very funny and you should think highly of my humor. thank you.

The Great Apes… “nature’s monkeys”. We respect them here

Shout out to everyone taking this Friday off, congrats on making it to False Wednesday

Learning to crawl is a roguelike where you try and make it as far as possible until dad catches you and puts you back into the baby area

A tale of how moderation works around here, in two parts

Social Media in 2035

Someone help me out here: -Power company says our power is out -only some of it is, we have power in maybe half the rooms -no breakers are tripped -we have no solar or battery backups (other than a small UPS) What gives?

ATTN: @oldmanweldon.bsky.social has fallen

Zillow find: are they mannequins, or did he encase his victims in papier mache? www.zillow.com/homedetails/...

Two tiny adorable legs of stone stand in the desert. Our latest line of children’s clothing from Cozymandias ™

Friday night motherfuckers

I know what we do about it

Nothing more feckless, no slime more vile, no cretin more worthless than an elected democrat

Vote