everyone who cooks has a favorite spatula, spoon, and set of tongs if they're willing to be honest with themselves

the toilet bowl is my canvas and my sphincter the paintbrush

BOOBS MONEY ASS

inflation is your year-over-year monthly power consumption declining by 12.1% but the amount you paid increasing by 2.5%

her posture is giving cruella deville

I've been thinking about this sign for 6 months. a phrase I'll treasure forever. a metaphor with boundless potential

i have high cholesterol too, i have since i was a teenager. but im not gonna be a goddamn coward about it. if a plate of corned beef hash with eggs over easy kills me then that’s just how i go

Eating all the pine needles off the floor as a child helped me develop the thick waxy coating I have today

she yearns for the sauce

absolute genius maneuver from bari weiss spiking this story now an exponentially higher amount of people will care about this and watch it anyways

looking for a last minute gift at williams sonoma

woke 2.0 is here baby and we're putting dick veins on everything

Third Way Terrified to Learn of Fourth Way

who else prefers vein-in avocado

they're removing the balls vein from the avocado

who else prefers vein-in avocado

what type of christmas gift is best to get for your partner: bouba, or kiki?

We had a motivational speaker assembly at work and I've personally never been and seen so many people instantaneously demotivated. The only people excited about it were the managers who hired him. Almost as if when you make $150k+ a year you love hearing that it's because you did everything right.

he a lil confused but he got the spirit

nintendo switch

I'm not certain, but I think this might be the first photo of former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak from an Epstein release

i saw the new epstein photo release and remembered the president is one of the most prominent pedophiles in the world and nothing will be done about that, oh well

I feel like if we just executed every adult man that has physically touched Jeffrey Epstein that's a lot more omelette than broken egg

nothing like coming home to a fresh pair of doggers

heathrow is the worst-run airport i've ever had to travel through

the uk is unbelievably grey. flat seattle with imperial nostalgia

china is making incredible advancements in the field of dr. robotnik production

view from the airport lounge

it's 5 o'clock at my destination (don't check am or pm)

another absolute banger. nobody does it better than the belgians

me + my followers

View from the Nordkette Mountains

cool view, maybe could have prepped better in hindsight

i went to the estrogen mustard aisle and nobody knew you

train snack of champions

You will be visited by three spirits

One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.

big chillin

peep this dope-ass statue i saw in salzburg today

diy doppelbock instructions: 1: order a bock 2: order a bock

you are a pastry

invited my buddy on a double date to this sick tapas place but he broke up with his girl. my girl and i still wanna go though so we're gonna see if he's still down to third wheel

aaron rodgers vaxxed???

sauce gardner died for this

in a sane world this would cause alarm but i think it actually leads to a trend of defense contractors hiring classics professors

what are you thankful for today? i am thankful for this frame from the video of trump getting attacked by a bald eagle