I'm giving Starscream period cramps.

binp

to refill the water fountain, you must first become the water fountain

this cat's head is too small for this deely bobber.

Ok now it’s pride month

did they have to put the Ls right there

me: "you got the broccolo?" wife, shaking seed bag: broccoli* me: "hopefully!" wife, solemly: hopefullo*

A friend of mine who was TA’ing for an AmLit course found a copy of Moby Dick a student had left behind. It had only one marginal annotation, around page 100, that simply said “whale is important.”

finally able to visit my favorite brewery in the country

showing up 500 yards from the polling place with a pickup truck full of Zep™ spray bottles, and winning 500% of the blue collar vote

tag yourself, i'm high grade imbecile

Since the announcement of our union, Wizards of the Coast and Hasbro have hired Fisher Phillips (a union avoidance firm), and chosen to engage in a daily union-avoidance campaign by sending emails to the Arena team that is spreading misinformation and sowing fear among our colleagues. #uwotc-cwa

ah yes, the 3 Liquids

Yeah I’m gay. Gay for my WIFE

insane move from boston here. tbh the whole front office should be facing consequences for this

saw the hu last night

Somehow this is a year old despite it being something I should have been sent 2000 times. I’m going to start using the phrase “brain-only” a lot in various bits

this settles it. i need to get way dumber

hello officer, is this the mall entrance?

I am once again thinking of the French girl attempting to say "Burger".

have sex...

never a bad idea to check back in on the old forums

We smokin that Dinosaur Planet bronto leaf. Them Titanian tongue twisters. Slim wanted beef with me, added his sorry ass to General Pepper's invoice. My shooter a frog with autism. My bitch got blue fur and pronouns. This shit ain't nothin to me, man.

blunt rotation

ain't no love for cisgender pokemans these days, i'll tell ya. it's all bout them sword twinks or evil furries, ain't nobody got love for the goo anymore

loggling on

cookie is getting walkmogged by cream

some real choice names on the bootleg arcade table at this taco joint

"why do you think this keeps happening to you" is almost as funny as "i've studied assassinations"

Rizzo as Jackie O, Kermit as GHWB, Fozzie as Lee Harvey Oswald, Miss Piggy as Abraham Zapruder. Somebody make it happen.

muppets movie about the jfk assassination where jfk is the only human

sneaky baskin

get his ass, girls

my local gov halted new data center development and is pouring the net revenue from existing sites into affordable housing. this has been a far more productive use of the revenue than other localities, which have largely used to it cut property taxes (in a state with fairly lower property taxes)

Is there a Mr. Me With That Shit?

We did it!

Code Name: Viper (1990, NES)

*touches earpiece* I’m being told that all of this has happened before, all of this will happen again.

Do you like these pictures I took

AS CALLED ON UConn Huskies radio by Mike Crispino Duke radio by David Shumate Westwood One by Scott Graham

THE CONNECTICUT FUCKING HUSKIES

Now comes the haunting spectre. The unyielding nightmare. The worst round in the tournament. The Elite 8.

look at this beautiful shot chart. i love my connecticut huskies

pruning spears cutting liberty spikes on the hedges of my mind

let's also bring back lyrics posting