Sure the USMNT has blown the best opportunity ever to make soccer hugely popular in this country BUT tonight they have created an entire army of bitter cynical children who will feed the USMNT posting ranks for years to come

It’s like you guys don’t even know that when there is a shockingly bad first half you should expect AGGRESSION TO THE MEAN. USA got em right where they want them

Mexico lost because their fans didn’t root hard enough

The 14 minutes of added time are going to be wild

PSA to the English: those bags of amber liquid you’re about to have thrown at you may be the same temperature and flavor as your beer back home but

So you’re telling me that Brazil won five titles, many long ago, last made the title game in 2002, and since has largely starred in cartoonish losses? Is Brazil Indiana basketball?

I’m particularly happy it happened against Belgium a country that: (1) routinely skates in the “your country caused unimaginable past horrors” discussion despite causing so many and (2) is home to Brussels, the worst city I’ve ever visited

The European mind cannot comprehend a just soccer result

My best fireworks ever was when I had a flight to Europe taking off at ~9 pm on the 4th in the northeast, and a window seat on the left side of the plane, and saw dozens of cities launching fireworks from above. Highly recommend!

UConn has won a basketball national championship in 5.6% of the 250 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed. They’re also undefeated against Notre Dame in football.

Falkland Islands you didn’t need to go that hard

150 years ago: “I invented the offsides rule. It stops blatant cherry-picking in a sensible manner.” Soccer nerd on this website today: “There is a chip in the ball that can detect if someone breathes on it. If you criticize it you do not understand the soul of the game”

Twitter has **so many** problems but it also doesn’t have a sizable amount of posters saying “The USMNT is bad because of politic’s” so who can say if it is bad or not

South American ref with a German last name setting 10 minutes of stoppage time: “this is definitely NOT for my grandfather”

Advancing in a knockout round for the first time in 24 years. I feel like a St. John’s fan.

A Brazilian with a German last name NO QUESTIONS THERE 🧐🧐🧐🧐

We bent over backward to not throw Wemby out of the NBA playoffs and now you European fucks do this in return??????

We will not be defeated

As someone who has watched Flo Balogun play 2.5 soccer games: I would die for Flo Balogun

Paul George is now net-neutral in horrible trades

Mexico vs. England is the most lopsided cuisine matchup you could make

The audio syncs up pretty well I think!

The European mind cannot comprehend “Winning in the Round of 32”

Netherlands in a shootout

Multiple kicks off the post, a fumble into the end zone, what is this, an ACC football game?

Have to give Netherlands v. Morocco the highest compliment in sports: this feels like an Elite 8 game

100 years of wasted opportunities for the World Cup to have a Round of 32 and then you let good ol’ America call some shots and soccer rules now. You’re welcome world

I’m starting to suspect some of these guys are embellishing

CIA op went sideways in Latin American you say?

I guess every country has Guys That Post Like This

Hell yeah

It’s a good VAR reversal imo, not because of the merits but because it will be very funny if a significant nation crashes out in the round of 32 and I hope it happens several times

Watching the USMNT backups get 93% of the way to scoring a goal and then rapidly fucking up really bringing me back to every USMNT match I’ve ever watched before the past two weeks.

Beating the country formerly known as Turkey

ALEX KARABAN IS A FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK

Happy Father’s Day to me

What if we kissed at the Cape Verde World Cup championship parade

Exercising Father’s Day weekend privilege to make my family listen to the entirety of The Black Parade on a long car drive. “Do all the songs sound like this?” “Yes. You’re welcome.”

I am very grateful for how good he’s made the team but every time I see Pochettino my mind screams “Temu Russell Crowe”

AMERICA

UConn’s Cyle Larin has two goals in the World Cup, which is good, to me.

Who has more World Cup goals, Messi or that German guy? It’s Klose.

Lionel Messi World Cup Hat Tricks before joining MLS: 0 Lionel Messi World Cup Hat Tricks since joining MLS: 1 Seems pretty obvious the USA is where you go if you want to get better at soccer

Adam Silver realizing he’s going to have to decide if Wemby gets suspended if this went 6

Every academic and economist who has ever studied it: “nepotism is bad” Rick Brunson: “I’m going to sign my son to the New York Knicks”

Stephon Castle (went to UConn) is the best San Antonio Spur and his teammates should apologize to him

You’re telling me a French guy was ethically questionable and came up short when it mattered?

The San Antonio Spurs are rockstars because they choked to death before any of them turned 28

When you taught KAT to play basketball