Lunch sketch.

Holy shit they put it in the papers that Mark Cuban was mad on the internet, AGAIN!

The reason TSA always pulls me aside for a pat down

Major Kusanagi is correct as always

Aldi is a land of extremes. You've got the world's best protein bars next to the world's worst mayonnaise. You just never know, but the thrills are cheap

This is my posting face.

"You're using BSKY wrong if you're not engaging with the community. *Locks replies* And a community is all the people who follow and agree with me."

where is this list and how do I get on it

the DEMONRATS got a big problem on their hands with Obama and Epstein palling around a brothel in Laos

Getting sued by the sydney opera house when i cancel my concert on account it being renamed the Josef Fritzl Opera House

Your Fur Too Tough. Your Gobble Too Different. Your Nuts Is Too Bad. They’ll Kill You

👁️

grace in practice Good morning

I like when frodo says "call me JRR the way I'm "tolkien" this ring around" and everybody groans

Personally I think women are heroes

me finally getting recognized for fucking up everyone’s lives constantly

Oh yeah well this is what we got cooking over here check mate

Soup of the day: Bell beefer

rewatched the akira movie tonight and while i love it and think it’s a great adaptation, every single time i watch it it just reminds me that the manga version of the story is like 1 trillion times better

right wing conspiracy guys: I have discovered a plot in which rich democrat celebrities eat babies to get the drug hunter s thompson made up 50 years ago person: wow what are you going to do to stop them? conspiracy guy: uh i post racist memes on twitter

Marriage Butter Pizza

Me when I see a new hot dog truck on Whitney ave

we should be talking about Adrienne Barbeau instead

This one’s for @theinfinitedadness.bsky.social (sound on)

I need to relax a bit. Gonna try out the new bathbombs my wife got me for Christmas.

ADDING IRON SUPPLEMENTS TO CEREAL? WHAT IF SOMEONE HAS HEMOCHROMATOSIS (INCREDIBLY RARE)??? LITERALLY MURDERING THEM!

The bollard hasn’t moved a single inch. Total domination. #WorldBollardAssociation

That Alex Jones even has a home to live in is proof that the U.S. legal system is completely broken. He should be eating hot dogs out of the gutter for the rest of his life.

Who’s down for a heist

As Marvin Gaye would say,

Lowe's should start selling sushi

POSTING THROUGH IT IS NOW A TOP 200 NEWS PODCAST ON APPLE!!! We’re beating out Gavin Newsom lmao

Brigitte Bardot, known for being hot once but spent most of her later years being a racist piece of garbage and living waaaay too long, dead at 91

That has to be like a ridiculously huge stapler

Re-watching return of the Jedi and thinking to myself how funny it would be if his face was frozen like this when they woke him up

at least the hitler robot is keeping this sort of weird focus on its owner instead of random people i guess?

Elf On A Shelf can fuck right off from hereon in: there's a new snitch bitch in town

Going Ligurian mode

Martha pls I just want to eat my pannini

BITCH WHAT

Everything reminds me of him

gm updates

We had a very nice belated holiday gathering with my incredible sister, her awesome husband and our not large adult children and we were having too good of a time for me to be on this website so accept My regrets on this late delivery 🫡🍜🍽️

they announced that Lisa Lisa was coming up next and I was like lol ok “Lisa Lisa” but I’m ngl it turns out we’ve got to retvrn immediately

haven’t really sampled a lot of airport raised ham but I will take your word for it

In 2026 I’m just going to start talking in a Mid-Atlantic accent as if I’d always been doing it

April showers bring may growers