The Federal Mint will unveil a new set of quarters commemorating each child

If this is the guy running cover for your crimes then you’re done. Totally cooked. You’re chopped. Smothered. Scattered. Covered. Diced. Chunked. Capped. You’re an order of Waffle House hashbrowns on Nancy Mace’s plate about to see Valhalla.

3-wide going into Valhalla

absolutely love driving home like this every day very cool

Congress SHOULD be voting to reopen PARTY CITY and JOANN FABRICS and not the GOVERNMENT

They could never Bánh mi from getting my favorite sandwich

Used the phrase “roiling boil” and someone corrected me and said “it’s rolling boil” and we went back and forth then looked it up and roiling boil is an older term for rolling boil and we both left the conversation dissatisfied and everything feels like that these days

Here he is flipping off a bag of rice

A liberal town sheriff spit on my uncle and chased him into the woods.

casting fireball at some beef patties

Happy Veterans Day to my Dad. Here he is in Vietnam with his platoon.

Sound on for a delightful treat to accompany this monster

Happy Veterans Day to my Dad. Here he is in Vietnam with his platoon.

This should be bigger news. The courts have upheld our right to bear parms. We can use buns to defend ourselves against tyranny. Go ham on your oppressors.

I follow her for the articles babe I swear

Enjoy these sorry classics in the meantime and take your time, brother

Every morning on my drive to work I choose one person in traffic that seems like they’re in a hurry and make sure to slow their commute by at least 10 minutes

Let me parley with the rats, Zohran. We can come to an understanding.

I saw him say it

Phrygian dominant (5th mode of harmonic minor) is the most badass of modes, just ask Dave Mustaine

Me and the boys celebrating today:

high as fuck, watching hallmark christmas movies with the captions on and sound off while mudvayne plays in the background for some reason. as one does on a wednesday afternoon

I saw him say it

dawg not the steakhouse wedding font

Me and the boys celebrating today:

My bathroom just got gerrymandered and now I’m not allowed to shit in there

Wow. The subways are already being taken over. Thanks, Zohran.

Because Sliwa’s a real one. You don’t have to like him but he is who he is and he ain’t changing for fuckin nobody.

Can’t stop laughing at this

I like my coffee like I like my toilet paper- stolen from the office supply closet at work

Same responses when they ask if I think we should ban Skyline chili

Professional Israel propagandist made a video voting for Cuomo and she is so stupid she didn’t fill in her ballot correctly 😂😂 #NotCounted

I Think You Should Leave New York Edition

She really channeled her inner Adam Sandler

Incredible rapid crescendo. Not even Leonard Bernstein could conduct such a masterful stringendo.

Very disappointed in this. He should’ve said “shit and piss.”

I AM CRYING

amazing things are happening

You HATE THIS CITY. You HATE THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL

Can’t stop laughing at this

Who’s gonna endorse the next Democratic candidate for president now??

He died doing what he loved: not having a heart 💔

If I Did It* *sexually harassed 13 women

John Bolton probably

“Hey Andrew let’s make a video about your ‘good luck truck’ and spend the majority of the time talking about how it’s definitely NOT OJ Simpson’s Bronco”