This should be bigger news. The courts have upheld our right to bear parms. We can use buns to defend ourselves against tyranny. Go ham on your oppressors.

I follow her for the articles babe I swear

Enjoy these sorry classics in the meantime and take your time, brother

Every morning on my drive to work I choose one person in traffic that seems like they’re in a hurry and make sure to slow their commute by at least 10 minutes

Let me parley with the rats, Zohran. We can come to an understanding.

I saw him say it

Phrygian dominant (5th mode of harmonic minor) is the most badass of modes, just ask Dave Mustaine

Me and the boys celebrating today:

high as fuck, watching hallmark christmas movies with the captions on and sound off while mudvayne plays in the background for some reason. as one does on a wednesday afternoon

I saw him say it

dawg not the steakhouse wedding font

Me and the boys celebrating today:

My bathroom just got gerrymandered and now I’m not allowed to shit in there

Wow. The subways are already being taken over. Thanks, Zohran.

Because Sliwa’s a real one. You don’t have to like him but he is who he is and he ain’t changing for fuckin nobody.

Can’t stop laughing at this

I like my coffee like I like my toilet paper- stolen from the office supply closet at work

Same responses when they ask if I think we should ban Skyline chili

Professional Israel propagandist made a video voting for Cuomo and she is so stupid she didn’t fill in her ballot correctly 😂😂 #NotCounted

I Think You Should Leave New York Edition

She really channeled her inner Adam Sandler

Incredible rapid crescendo. Not even Leonard Bernstein could conduct such a masterful stringendo.

Very disappointed in this. He should’ve said “shit and piss.”

I AM CRYING

amazing things are happening

You HATE THIS CITY. You HATE THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL

Can’t stop laughing at this

Who’s gonna endorse the next Democratic candidate for president now??

He died doing what he loved: not having a heart 💔

If I Did It* *sexually harassed 13 women

John Bolton probably

“Hey Andrew let’s make a video about your ‘good luck truck’ and spend the majority of the time talking about how it’s definitely NOT OJ Simpson’s Bronco”

Dick Cheney died rather than live in a world where he couldn’t watch the SEC on YouTube TV, respect

He died doing what he loved: not having a heart 💔

Dick Van Dyke has OUTLIVED Dick Cheney

Who’s gonna endorse the next Democratic candidate for president now??

turn the brightness on your phone down I’m trying to sleep

Hi, I’m a small business owner running for local school board and I believe in 3 things: 1) pledge allegiance to Israel or die 2) kids don’t need to know how to read 3) bring back God in our communities 4) Everything I’ve ever seen on Facebook Vote for me, Grawson Hamngley

Jawn Bean

People Magazine just announced their 2025 “Sexiest Man Alive”:

After he’s cremated the inside of his body will still be frozen

Hi, I’m a small business owner running for local school board and I believe in 3 things: 1) pledge allegiance to Israel or die 2) kids don’t need to know how to read 3) bring back God in our communities 4) Everything I’ve ever seen on Facebook Vote for me, Grawson Hamngley

If Sean Bean’s named rhymed would it be Sean Bawn or Sheen Bean

Shababs rock

Recently my sister told me she just packs a regular (one a day) amount of underwear when she travels and I was just like "oh okay ... you absolute psychopath"

Me reading this: