god is a small turtle

imagine you find out you're a beast tamer but so weak you can only tame slimes...

what do you guys do when your butler is too naughty?

can i get a pup cup

the frieren ears stay on during sex

only rich folk can afford Starbucks. meanwhile the rest of us have to lick free coffee out of the gutter like pathetic rat creatures. the system is broken!

Please donate any amount to help Mohammed and his family. “Any help, no matter how small, can make a difference. It can bring hope to a little girl fighting to breathe… and to a family that has lost everything but still holds on to life.”

Yes, I’m blaming democrats for not using 12 years in office to raise the minimum wage + eat my ass

im going to have to report this

thousands of likes and updoots, for what? to die screaming in the deepest pit of hell? no thanks. i will enter the kingdom of heaven unknown and unheralded.

terrifying!

don't reply to this post unless you have a pure heart and stainless soul.

so i guess to defeat the Kit-Kat Technique you must use the Anti Kit-Kat Technique? is this making sense to anyone?

did you know you can care about animals and humans. you dont have to choose one over the other!

We have a guest in the house tonight. Asked if he could “lurk creepily in the dark.” We said ok but regret it now.

"DRAMATIC videotape filmed by research team shows Dr. Richard Mears in the dinosaur's jaws, seconds before he was swallowed by the giant creature." "SCIENTIST EATEN ALIVE - BY AN 80-FT. DINOSAUR!" - a story from the tabloid "WEEKLY WORLD NEWS" (dated 13/07/93). #dinosaur #kaiju #Sizesky #horrorfam

im chilling in the Jing Wo Divine Garden

they just mash face. no tongue or anything. she doesn't even grab his junk! 4/10

Hey gang you may have seen that my dog Willow had to have surgery on her right hind leg. The surgery for her left hind leg will be later this summer. I'm looking for help paying for these expensive procedures. Please give anything you can and share the link here and on other social media.

i just slipped on a banana peel and The Joker laughed at me. diabolical...

you can't hurt me im from Florida

whats your favorite spell? mine is CORPSE EXPLOSION 💥

hey um before my brain bakes in my skull and I forget completely, I could use $25 to get some non-food stuff like lotion, gout meds, toothbrush, etc. any help appreciated, reskeets too! thanks. cash app / venmo: eatyrself paypal.me/eatyrself

the 5.8 million dollar man

Hannah Flowers, Australian-Scottish (1989- ), In the Garden on the lsle of Sobek, oil on linen panel, 51 x 41 cm, private collection

lol

Doodle of my second favourite mother (only my real mom clears) #spyfamily

remember when those rich folks got squished in that submarine

how do you tell someone you care about that they're using too much toilet paper?

a quick follow up: the IDF is claiming the people they murdered yesterday were all "hezbollah targets" and the BBC just repeats the lies as fact.

just watched Sinners. it was pretty good. it was a bit slow to me in the first half but of course it perked up once the vampires arrived. liked that the main vampire was irish. dont see a lot of irish villains.

in the manhwa im watching the heroes are fighting against orcs but the ai narrator was calling them vultures, then it changed its mind and started calling them snails?

when i see photos of flowers i feel nothing

just had some sugar free apple pie. it was weird. i didn't finish it.

if Wemby blocks my shot i will sue the shorts off him

israel killed 40 civilians in lebanon today, some were children including a 12yr old girl and her father that were hunted down by TWO IDF drones. didn't even make the news. imagine if 40 israeli civilians were killed by lebonese strikes. the fucking world would stop spinning.

can it just be autumn already

im sad to report that beloved author JK Rowling has passed away. she fell down the stairs and her pussy flew off. :(

Hatsune Miku doesnt make enough money in the UFC so she works part time as an Uber Eats driver. Dana White needs to pay the fighters a fair salary.

@mcuban.bsky.social borrow some money 2 me pls

i had to google for a pic of mario & luigi making out to feel better.

someone posted a screenshot of bubsy 3d on the timeline and i saw it and bubsy looked at me and now i feel sick.

when a anime character sees boobs and gets a nose bleed it really makes people smile.

when women breastfeed in public its beautiful and natural but when homelander does it he is a freaky perv? getting sick of these double standards.

happy caturday

my opinion on MTG vs AOC: MTG sucks. AOC is a fake progressive. Israel is evil. Aliens are real and fully vaxxed. Thats it. free palestine.

the new Shadow Panther album is fire. I don't care what the losers at pitchfork say. 9.5/10

woah its just like Severence

went to the state fair today and had a deep fried bar of irish spring. refreshing!

i cant believe they made that poor japanese girl eat the whole freakin hamburger 😂