I couldn't make it through work today but I could stay awake last night long enough to recreate the entire McDuck Estate in City Skylines, down to Mallard State University and a private helicopter pad.

Please forgive me as a very white guy in the Midwest, but Korean food should taste different than Chinese food, right? It was fine, but not what I expected.

I will readily admit that I'm no genius, but fucking watching the events of the day unfold makes me want to drive a railroad spike through my head.

We already fucking wrote these books.

Wait, no. They're definitely going to take us seriously this time.

*casually weeding out classic Star Trek because of subjects that trigger me and having nothing left but Deep Space 9*

I don't care. Make your case that there's no profit without Nazis, I just don't care. I have an account I use to scream into the void, but understand me clearly, I can do the same thing in a dimly lit alleyway or truthfully, any streetcorner at all.

...yes.

In honor of (hopefully) today's launch of NASA's Artemis II mission, the first crewed mission to orbit the Moon in more than 50 years, here is a to-scale graphic of exactly how far away the Moon actually is. (Click image to expand.) You could fit about 30 Earths between the Earth and the Moon!

I just...I fucken give up ever reading a website again.

It's not fair that I had to hear about Kid Rock in high school and now I have to do it all again.

I don't mean to get political but Enterprise was the last true Star Trek series.

Somehow, I can be within arms reach of 5 fast chargers, 4 wireless chargers, 9 USB cords, and the occasional waterwheel, but still end up with two phones at 8% battery by dinnertime.

There are not a lot of truths I am qualified to speak on, but THE ONE I am is that it takes MONTHS to learn CNC machining and YEARS to master. Anyone that tells you differently is trying to sell you something.

I was watching TV and my wife came into the room. For a moment I had a feeling of victory, but then I remembered I hadn't done anything.

Bangers and mash gives me unrealistic expectations of potatoes.

I don't want to spoil the show, but Columbo solves the mystery

*reminiscing as an old* I remember a day when the president wasn't dumb as hell.

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Probably the hardest part of CNC machining is convincing the layperson that it takes months to learn and years to master. I don't mean to speak out of pocket, just as a person who's been working at this for a decade and is still working on the mastery part.

Everybody shut up. I don't want to spoil the plot of the Columbo I'm watching.

Everything worth knowing I learned from the A Team. Today's youths will never know that Hannibal will never do them wrong. We've lost focus on what matters.

90s comedy could have saved us all

I learned so much in my youth from Cousin Larry.

Typewriters, lol

grimace has no belly button, proving once and for all that he is a gift From god

If, in 2026, you aren't regularly watching Perfect Strangers, I don't know why you own a TV.

Wait, I want more details on how Vietnam was such a rousing success.

This would make a great album cover. Also, it apparently makes bees.

Man. I know we had plans tonight, but I can't make it. Why? Hang on, I'll explain it.

I'm pretty sure I could take a horse in a fistfight if only because it doesn't have fists.

Ok, that's a good joke. But seriously, what is it? Did someone sprinkle Sweet Caroline on it?

I was planning on going out to do crimes tonight, but you see, there's this kitten in my lap...

All the news today caused the major outlets to forget that we are taking the first human flight to the moon tomorrow in >50 years! I think about all the wonder & inspiration that came from the Apollo and Voyager missions & how we are missing that now bc of all the terrible things happening. 🔭🚀

I'm in a mood so if anyone wants uninformed and salty opinions, I'm available, as are roughly 3 billion other people.

Reporting the news and stroking your ego are two different things. One reflects reality, the other reflects YOUR preferred reality. Ain't nobody tailoring a billion dollar news organization to the views one person in Paducah has. That's counterproductive, and stupid.

Something something shoot the messenger

*standing outside the content mines, taking a drag off a cigarette* "I don't know if you want to post that, son. We did that in aught 6 and the internet ain't been the same since. Somedays I wish nobody had ever posted that."

Reminder: Journalism is about reporting what's happening. Not about tailoring each article to you specifically.

I don't mean to come off like I've served time in the military, but if it would be easy for the U.S. to defend, it's probably easier for a country that's spent decades preparing ahead of time. Taking this line of thinking to its conclusion, trying would be a fool's errand, which means we'll try it.

Gonna create a bot that replies with this image to every single post the president makes.

I just walked past a group of white people with my ear buds in and they all started singing, "Sweet Caroline! Bum bum bum!" We just KNOW when we're in the presence.

Today I learned Tommy James & The Shondels performed I Think We're Alone Now and also that the guitar player makes hilarious faces while doing so.

What is Thelma Lou's job, what is her last name, and why is she so good at giving Batney smooches just off camera?

I could never be a vampire. Sleeping in a coffin looks way too cramped. I'd need at least a queen size coffin with a sleep number

I am told by Reddit that a plastic bag with rotisserie chicken in it is known in Australia as “a bachelor’s purse,” and confabulation or not I think that’s beautiful

I took a walk around the block to stretch my knee out. It was a good idea for about 8 minutes.

Someone should place a fried egg, steak, and cheese on some toasted sourdough and then put it in my mouth.