and the award for best proof of concept resulting in additional venture capital goes to… The Goonies 2049

just on a walk with my camera no big deal. just trying to isolate the tender, singular reality of my inner life within the congested public realm of the city nothing weird going on

bought something and liked it so much mmediately that i didn't even enjoy it because i had buyer's remorse about not getting the nicer version of it. i've been having dreams of an american flag burning

I don't know about all this "crypto speculation" and "AI bubble" stuff. My family is in the hat business. We make hats, we sell hats. But don't think we don't have our own business savvy. My dad says just because "everyone only has one head, doesn't mean you can only sell 'em one hat!"

I love using British slang on British people because I have no idea how bad anything is. I’ll tell a dude to “slag off” with no clue on whether he’ll laugh or glass me

don’t be mad but I’m raising money to make a short film. it’s inspired by my experience with cervical cancer/subsequent partial hysto (“Everything but the Ovaries”) and can somebody help me here: seedandspark.com/fund/girlie

there are two types of top comments on full youtube concerts. the first is "I watch this every night because of my depression, which has grown severe. music matters most during hard times" and the other "i was their"

he looks like a character from Hey Arnold

Korn had two types of songs and they’re either called Stinky Party or Got Molested

i don't enjoy live theater because i have intrusive thoughts about how i could completely ruin the performance, and believe i have a moral prerogative to do so

in the bathtub slowly sliding my head under the water like a female character in a movie experiencing interiority

this is an incredibly bad take but sometimes when i think of global warming disproportionately impacting younger generations my mind tells me "that's what they get for not going to movie theaters enough"

One exciting thing about getting older is seeing all the ways people fold negativity into their personality. A lot of it is just awkward bitterness but I have a few pals exploring genuine curmudgeonly in a way I really love

love that the security guard at the PRODUCE store is strapped

I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag

One thing that’s kind of nice about so many new movies being bad is you can watch older mid-movies and they feel solid by comparison. Rewatched Phantom Menace and honestly, not bad

Can u do me a flavor and nominate me for the hidden gem award (thelukeman) and best streamed series (fornite talk show) UwU it would weally help me out

pretending not to be in a couple will save you $5

I love the sign on the porno theater near me because they had to print out and laminate problematic additions

the mirror ceiling at the Apple Store is telling me one thing: this is a great place to throw an orgy

I had to buy a new iPhone today and it’s mostly same old shit but I’ve got to say I love the camera’s new Aryan mode

LA 🤝 Canadians

Just saw someone get “shhhh’d” at a bookstore. Ma’am… this is not a library

in a radical act of whimsy for a man my age, i took a bubble bath and gave myself a wizards beard. then i looked at myself in the mirror with it and thought about every bad thing i've ever done

Got the urge to work on a project I’ve been ignoring for several months, but I’m out running errands. All good though, I’m sure I’ll feel the same when I get home

my $4 protein pop tart does not look very appealing and when I put it in the toaster all the frosting melted off

Being a fairweather fan fucking rocks. Haven’t thought about the Mariners in like 7 years, but I’m so swept up in the playoffs that I feel like I’m going to puke even though we’re up 2 runs

The Toronto Bluejays have no chance against the Mariners. Their socialized medicine and superior education system means they have a reduced dependency on x-factor to make it through the world.

the peanut inside the peanut m&m mascot should be it’s own voiced character. his only goal is to “get out” of the living shell. he does so by speaking through the m&m, trying to convince the other candies to break him out, killing his host

I would honestly rather read a handwritten note from my parents in which they say they regret ever adopting me

After accidentally quitting for two years, I have decided to start writing again. In six months I VOW to have a new feature, one hour, and half hour. Announcing this as a form of pending humiliation (my only known motivator)

i love when i overthink a problem so profoundly that i actually do uncover something new at the bottom that puts me at ease. it wasn't an anxiety spiral, i was simply swirling down towards the answer-hole

Never in doubt.

"The Man from UNCLE" ? You mean my cousin? 😂

"Chase Infiniti" seems like a shrewd showbiz parent name until you discover her last name is "Payne." "Chase Infiniti Payne" sounds like a Hellraiser guy slogan

scanning film from this week's night walks

My neighbors yard is so sick

One of my favorite things about myself is I don’t gate keep. If you get into the same weird shit as me, great. one more person I can bother about it

Always makes me a little sad to get back in touch with an old friend who was just insanely mean and find out that they've mellowed out, found inner peace.

One Battle After Another has men in their late 30s posting like kpop stans, and thats beautiful

It’s a shame world class fencers don’t get to kill a guy even one time

Absolutely no respect for dudes who collect lots of little Funko style toys. As a grown man you should get one toy every 2 years, it should cost at least $4800, and be grounds for divorce

Hollywood boulevard protest a few weeks back 🎞️

the joke that got Kimmel kicked off ABC isn't even at the expense of Charlie Kirk. the way the US is accelerating in fascism is truly scaring the shit out of me!

one thing that drove me crazy about the Kirk shooting is everyone who said it “had to have been done by a pro” because the shot was from 150 yards. do you really have no conception at how good hobbyists can get at something? when people publicly doubt an obsessive man, I take that personally.

my landlady is so afraid of unhoused people it’s crazy. she thinks they’re part of a giant cabal that meets every night and schemes on new ways to break in and steal her teak armoire and iPad mini

I made this in the middle of the night ?

had been struggling with jet lag all week, basically waking up at 5AM everyday no matter what. but last night i played poker from 7pm - midnight last night and when i got back home i slept for 11 hours. gambling is good for you.