my elderly jehova's witness landlady very seriously told me she is excited for the imminent resurrection because her dead brother can finally start working off the debt he accrued living with her rent free

people who eat ice cream by getting just a little bit on the spoon are simply better than me. when I take a bite of ice cream I try to fill up the whole mouth

very drunk neighbor asked to take my picture getting into my car because he intends to start "men with aura" instagram page. can't stress enough how drunk he was.

one very cool thing about doing laundry is it makes your clothes reusable. this can be an incredible way to save money and reduce unnecessary waste

i am going to a magician showcase thing and because magicians love to pick on me, which i hate, i am going to be dressing like a magician as a deterrent to them bringing me on stage

The Spencer Pratt interview has a lot of bangers but his example of what would be more fun than running for mayor is an all-timer to me

having a friend who is 25-50% a hater is the absolute best. but if someone is like 75% a hater its the most depressing thing in the world (still not as bad as a friend who is less than 5% a hater)

doing “the pencil trick” at a coffee shop where I drop a pencil and as I sensuously bend over to pick it up I slip, fall, and it goes through my eye socket and into my brain

when I have to use a grocery store bathroom I always worry someone is meddling with my grocery cart. I know I haven’t technically bought it yet, but socially the food belongs to me

this and some laudanum and a luggage cart with 12 ostrich leather hatboxes >>>>>>>>

just walked into a bar and the bartender was cleaning a pint glass with a rag. love archetypal shit like that. wanted to ask him if he remembered a red haired woman in there last week and scream “well she’s DEAD” no matter what his answer

Here are some images from my free Patreon post this month, which is a collection of more than fifty digital collages entitled "Behind the Curtain," available here: www.patreon.com/posts/behind...

tv news shouldn’t break the 4th wall. there should be a designated “dummy” who the anchors explain the news to so I can watch in secret. don’t need these overgroomed freaks looking straight at me…

Why don't you all give it a RT for tomorrow at 5 pacific, 8 eastern on twitch.tv/deadblossomjesse. Featuring @jessefarrar.com @osullyville.bsky.social, Nick Wiger of Doughboys fame, and a mystery guest. I just finished putting the last question on the board. I'm proud of this one I reckon

love when writers talk about how important character is to them. same vibe as when chefs talk about loving ingredients

one of the best things I ever saw was a woman walk out of the bathroom with her chihuahua and it had a little piece of toilet paper stuck to its back paw

Need to bring one of my favorite basketball tweets over here

my understanding of The Boys is that it’s Deadpool for guys who make fun of Deadpool

me on hour 85 listening to a man explain the history of how English developed from proto indo European (we are finally at middle English)

(spinning the obsession wheel because I’m between special interests) come on writing! art history! at least something work related! (wheel lands on ‘Maritime Logistics’) fuck!

yo watch guy checking in here. sitting down at the computer for a long night of my favorite activity: coveting

watch guys are so boring. they always come up to me like "yo is that a Seiko?" yeah dude, i bought it because it's silver, tells time, and was $70. but we can't form a friendship based on that

I need to get a coverup of my huge Red Dragon backpiece tattoo. If I were really becoming him, it would have happened by now

god it would be so tempting to jump up out of the crowd and sack him

I’m an entry level siren.

i went to an 80s cover band show tonight and it was the highest per capita density of men in their 50s on dates with women in their 20s i've ever seen. a bunch of them started making out during "sweet child o mine" which i think they took literally

infamous back to the future maligner sits in DeLorean, is humbled

all this odyssey-posting has got me thinking about this again

Reading some James Bond books and I really think the movies don’t do the him justice. He should constantly be saying stuff like “I’m having an internal monologue about killing myself”

if you see a woman throw up in a movie it always means she’s pregnant. we could help hide this if other movies would pitch in and include people throwing up for no reason more

Experimenting with chilling and sitting still. Basically I think it’s not good I feel like a husky who sleeps in a crate.

(gravely, after prompting ChatGPT with ‘summarize the odyssey’ and reading it between rounds of CS Go) Christopher Nolan you have ruined my favorite Ancient Greek epic poem

helped my elderly landlady fix her WhatsApp and 100% confirmed she's the victim of numerous financial scams. but i honestly feel kind of good my rent is mostly going to dudes in southeast asia pretending to be jehovah's witnesses

well well well the kid who told me it was lame to wear sweatpants in 2nd grade has inherited his father’s large concrete pouring business and thus will never experience getting to build something for himself. another win for MG

I love when travel shows use really shallow depths of field… that city you spent $400k flying everyone out to? That’s the last thing I want to see

finding out The Odyssey has woke-casted a Polish person

great villain you have in the sequel to a movie where the original villain died. I love that he’s referred to as the original villain’s “disciple,” but it’s a little too scary his methods are “even more extreme.”

I genuinely feel bad for TikTok comedy people. If you come up with a bit that’s actually funny, immediately 200 people who look like you only hotter steal the bit and make no reference to you. Truly nightmarish

I go on huge walks almost every day but it’s never to “clear my head.” Half the fun is it goes absolutely crazy up there

i think i would make a great spy, but my politics don't align with anyone who has any real power. best case scenario a DSA chapter hires me to spy on their rival DSA chapter

chatgpt makes my job way easier in that everyone else is using it and i'm just holding it down normal style. getting crazy compliments like "you send great emails" yeah, i because someone actually wrote it!

this has got to be my all-time worst opinion but after getting a dedicated ereader I don’t think I’ll ever pick up a paper book again. carrying around pages I’ve already read? Couldn’t be me

i know i have some cool photography mutuals here so wanted to plug my friend Zeke's incredible patreon. he basically releases a photobook PDF each month and they're really good. he has a free tier and a paid! www.patreon.com/c/eezekiel/p...

The main thing in art and entertainment to keep your finger on the pulse of the fans and what they want, their feedback is so important.

in the film Erin Brockovich, there is a scene where Aaron Eckhart is playing cards and someone says "you've got the joker." this is a sly reference to him playing Two Face in The Dark Knight

Under socialism everyone will get banh mis whenever they want.