you have no idea the fire that you have ignited within this niece

cut off a Waymo and it fired ammo from its thing

Can they make ai consumers next. so it’s just ai selling to ai. and we can all just go to the beach

is there any money anywhere

the new “body keeps the score” is “brain is head guts”

i’m not built for being seen or heard. I should only be texted. occasionally i can possess another, and visit in a dream. I prefer text

“ohh i love the summer, i love the heat, i love sunshine, i love when the sun is everywhere” that’s a flawed mindset. that’s chaotic anxious attachment. that’s spiritual psychosis. that’s an incorrect opinion. that’s propaganda. that’s a personal attack.

when a car cuts me off in LA i can only assume it’s because they want to drive into the ocean faster than me

what even are the jobs

would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? would you rather be sad, or sad in a happy way. would you rather be upset or I am upset

the leading cause of tension headaches (a buildup of pain juice in that one spot) could easily be treated by injecting a long needle into the spot and extracting all the pain juice. where do I get this done

you know what man we’re all tired of your shit so why don’t you row row row your ass gently down the stream

California. Los Angeles. a cesspool of crime and and sin. the perfect place to build my new diner which was inspired by my car which was inspired by my combusting rockets. finally, a place to eat in LA that isn’t good

RIP Brian Wilson he didn’t surf but he knew the power of the wave

i’m looking to imprison and torture 1 person for 1 year, because in my imagination they took a job from me that i never wanted. I’m willing to spend my full average US annual salary to do this

one $36 way to fix your summer is go to an amc and get a tub of popcorn and a large freestyle drink with coke plus a little peach flavored coke plus a little cream soda mixed in and watch a screening of jaws in one of the theaters with the huge chairs

Dumbass here 👋 isn’t taxing the rich bad because they are the batman? think about it 🤔

“do you ever feel like you’re just floating through life” yeah obviously? what the fuck? what am i supposed to feel like i’m doing skiing through it?

most surprising thing about the materialists to me is that it does not take place during the summer of 2001

i have to see the jeremy allen white movie because it’s about my boss and one of my quarterly goals

hey man what are you up to, want to get something unbelievably stupid at a coffee place

it’s important during Times Like These to keep making your art. create as much as you can. the world needs storytellers. this is important so go start doing that. get out of here and go do it. go on little de goya. leave me out of this i can’t be a part of it. I need to sit weird for two hours

so, in stick. you know the show, Stick? yeah so in Stick

🎵 iiiiii’m. allergic to the suuuuunn

TARA, are you seeing this?! Elon just EXPOSED Trump for being a pedophile which is something we SHOULD HAVE GAMBLED DONATION MONEY ON. Could you spare JUST $13 and we swear to god it’s our lucky day? 500% no 900% MATCH UNLOCKED STOP2end

no amount of “indie sleaze” and electroclash comeback is gonna pull us out of this one sorry. unless mgmt is planning on rebuilding medicaid or something. like maybe if lcd soundsystem k*lls RFK jr

can I make this peanut butter cookie recipe without the peanut butter? I don’t eat peanut butter. also can you make this a twelve step program for people who don’t have any problems. I don’t have any problems.

we sent a camera to space on behalf of planet america. it all combusted on the way back, but not before our ai astronaut confirmed there is alien life out there; alien life that insists gender is binary. “also they wanted me to make sure to tell you life starts at conception” relayed captain grock

i’m something of a mentor within the water bottle community

Cars that look like cop cars but aren’t are merely security guards of the mind. Just a warning that I could start saying shit like this if I wanted

i’m actually not walking here. i did live in new york for some years. during that time i was walking here. but that was there

dude i’m not gonna mingle with you

seeing more and more online conservative women with my first name unfortunately. like the ones who angle selfies from the scalp for their tiktoks about 3D chess or whatever. unfortunately many are tara. unfortunately this means you’ll have to call me “the one good tara” now.

half the month: (loud sounds of Tuvan throat singers and didgeridoos echoing through my skull. unable to sleep) other half the month: can’t remember one day a month: waking up in the middle of the super mario 64 penguin race

when someone tells me “be safe” I’m like oh yeah okay good point i’ll carry a police shield

if you look closely, babies are everywhere

have you seen Robbie? I need help with a pressure dressing over here! Hemoglobin times two is stable equals are equaling. Prepped for intubation, where’s my stabilization tube? Can I get a little help with maintenance fluids in my tubes i’m a doctor with BANGS over here! where the hell is Robbie!!

good morning!! yes that’s right,

i’ve been doing the hang ten hand gesture to say “cool” for so long that i’ve started doing it sarcastically without realizing. i can’t be doing this. like i just did it to a driver who cut me off i can’t be doing this

men standing in a circle: I got that dog in me. no I’VE got that dog in me. you’re both wrong — the dog is in me.

i’ll get ready for bed when I’m dead

me snapping my head up from my hot phone to the wind chimes outside my window which are reflecting the serene environment through its gentle tones: SHUT. the FUCK,

i’m always like, i should put on a nature doc in the background while i work. until I remember oh yeah there’s a lot of blood. OH yeah there’s a ton of blood in there

they should make a type of confidence that I could be allowed to have

when something this asinine comes along I cant help but say it out loud all day. democrats cannot survive in long form podcasting environments; it’s too unscripted, it’s too masculine. then he says “honestly.” democrats cannot survive in long form podcasting environments. it’s too masculine honestly

people drank the beer i brought to the social function. I didn’t physically harm anyone there . why no one kissing my hand?

i heard recently that you’ll go to federal prison for arguing with brands

sometimes my dad asks me stuff like i’m a political strategist. like im some pundit. “Tara, what can Gavin do to come back from this?” I don’t know dad maybe he should sh**t his guests with a gu* I’m a freelance graphic designer

when I can’t fall asleep I close my eyes and recite my evening mantra. Piscataway. Piscataway, NJ. Piscataway. piscataway…piscataway… piscataway…piscataway new jersey. piscataway, piscataway. Piscataway.

doing a bunch of math with my friends