Thread of Portlands being amazingly and beautifully unhinged while protesting ICE

Do we think Farage might just keep his trap shut about the synagogue suspect until FACTS are known?

I’ve no idea what my last day on earth will be like, but it won’t be spent attacking people in a synagogue. Just beyond comprehension, what this person was thinking.

Shame on you for publishing this @belfasttelegraph.co.uk

I need a thumb thimble. Big enough to go over a glove. It’s for sanding frets. Silicone might be the best.

“Well. We have a BROWN shoe” 👞

I challenge anyone to make me give a fuck about Downton Abbey. Never watched it. Is it Eastenders for country bellends?

Goodnight

I do not understand economics. When the Tories introduced austerity… well that’s *kinda* like turning off a tap. It should save water (money). So where the fuck did the money go? If it was saved, how come it’s nowhere? Explain it to me like I’m six.

Damn. Jane Goodall is a fkn legend. RIP ♥️

So far I’m not seeing any UK media announcing Jane Goodall’s death. She’s from London like.

Jane Goodall, ethologist and conservationist, has died. She was 91

I told a melter customer that I don’t want to work with him, and to find someone else to help him. 📞 OVER THE PHONE 📞 I have crossed some sort of Rubicon, friends. A life milestone.

Is it illegal to call for the death of an actor if the actor is AI?

Guys… am **I** obsessed with Farage? Perhaps I am. Maybe I should join Reform to show that I’m tolerant. Of cunts.

Farage is the guy at a comedy club, constantly heckling, and gets butt hurt when the guy on stage makes fun of him directly.

Today is Ukrainian Defenders Day. The only reason this land isn’t silent rubble is because of them. They stand between Ukraine and the horde from hell, between destruction and everything good that remains. They protect us. They protect you. support them: savelife.in.ua/en/donate-en/

Never been in the military. But I have been a music industry touring professional for many years. There’s a command structure of sorts. I’ve been in various positions. My experience tells me you need different people with different strengths. Working together, the job gets done. Hegseth is a dick

”Kier Starmer is obsessed with me” says the guy obsessed with strangers in dinghies.

Only recently I was asking myself (grumpily, cynically) “So what about recovering Covid fraud? Yiz said you’d be all over that!” And… yeah. The gov seem to be on it.

Let's see if the people who blame Labour for the behaviour of judges, give Labour credit for the behaviour of judges today. "Labour got us are money back!" www.theguardian.com/world/2025/o...

Farage claims there’s a target on his back after the Labour conference. Dude, you’re in politics. You’ve put **your own** head above the parapet, you fucking muppet.

Well. I for one welcome the coming political shitstorm of DEFINING PATRIOTISM. I love semantics. Especially when it’s really pedantic, and deflects from silly issues like housing.

Who invented tea bags in the sink, and can we charge them with something?

“I work hard, and I don’t get a free iPad and a hotel room!!!” Mate, you work hard and don’t have five houses. Don’t bitch down. Bitch upward.

Why do penguins and elephants get free accommodation and meals, and I have to pay for mine? We live in a TWO-TIER SOCIETY!!!!

Listening to Starmer’s conference address. If you’re thinking it’s all blah blah blah, you’re a bit warped, and tragically jaded. When you compare his words with the bluster and anti-science of Reform, you have to admit we’re better off with this guy at the top.

All this shaving and powerlifting just to go into combat and hear the high-pitched bzzzzzzzzz above you

Interviewer: “What do you want to hear from Kier Starmer’s speech today?” Me: “PEE IS STORED THE BALLS, CUNTS!!!”

Anyone else think October can fuck off?

🌱🌍💚 Please consider the environment before using Ai to reply to this email

I’m not across any details of Trump’s glorious shitplan for Gaza. I‘d be interested in hearing from Native Americans if it looks/sounds familiar.

Veggie/Vegan talking point… Why do some meat eaters act like eating meat is not only some divine right, but also a moral duty?

Most people assume that since Victorian times it's been compulsory to send all children to school. It's not - and in fact, you don't even need to tell the state that your child should be in education. 🎧Podcast with @ciarandunbarrach.bsky.social (no paywall)

Putin today signed a law withdrawing Russia from the European Convention for the Prevention of Torture. It's not surprising. They are famous for torturing prisoners of war, after all. But this move speaks volumes about Russia’s direction and intentions.

I feel like the only suitable driver for this vehicle would be a goblin.

London under sharia law

Don’t worry if other people don’t like you. All that matters is that you don’t like you

If someone supports Farage’s IRL policy, it doesn’t mean they’re a raging racist. But it does mean they support a racist policy. So they really need to have a word with themselves and come to grips with their values.

Does your phone recognise your cum face?

The Patient Access app is driving me INSANE The authenticator app is driving me INSANE

“Can a woman have a penis” is simply a RIDICULOUS question. Why does anyone feel the need to answer it? It’s like “Can a monkey play professional tennis?” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Not if you’re fucking bald, you twat

I’m quite drunk. I admit it. But at least I’m not a cunt. Wait

Mojo Nixon is the greatest American to have ever lived 🇺🇸

I haven’t been following the Irish presidential race closely, but so far I’ve been able to glean that a handbag was in the running.

On Sept. 28, 1972, Canada and the Soviet Union took to the ice in the final game of the Summit Series. With the series tied, it would come down to one of the most famous goals in Canadian hockey history. This is the story of Game Eight. 🧵 1/14

My silly little thought: People who feel betrayed by Labour didn’t believe Starmer when he said nothing will happen quickly, and things will get worse before they get better. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯